Ok, I'm 31, a grown woman and I feel about 13. There's this woman who I see at my college and I have the most enormous crush on her. The only problem is that she's straight so I've got no chance. She's kind of a friend, well, we are kind of making friends a bit. She's not actually a student, she's a scribe allocated to one of my class mates, so she is working when she's there. I've had a thing about her for ages now and over the last couple of days I've been talking to her a fair bit. Today I made an excuse that I had to go into town after class so I could walk to the bus stop and get on the bus with her. It's pathetic, I feel pathetic, I feel like a stupid love sick teenager. I know I can't have her yet I still torture myself by finding reasons to spend time with her. She's so kind and open, I don't think she's got the first incling that I'm completely in love with her. I'm not doing it to perv over her or anything, I genuinely like spending time with her and talking to her, the fact that she is beautiful is secondary in many ways. Today when I said goodbye to her in town she gave me a hug and I spent the whole bus journey home going crazy and grinning all over my face, people must've thought I was a bit wierd. Am I being pathetic? Do other adults have crushes? Is it usual for adults to have crushes? I just needed to get this off my chest...
Absolutely. We're all humans in this big world we share, and love and affection is something we crave. Enjoy the moment.
I'm a teenager but I still feel pathetic because I act the same way. >.> It's all normal, as far as I know..
the best advice i can give is to never fall for someone if you aren't for sure what gender they like or if they aren't into your gender. if she's truly straight, it's probably time to move on. because you're only going to hurt yourself in the end. if you honestly don't know - ask her. you're just going to drive yourself crazy until you find out.
I know she's straight, or I know she's been in relationships with men. This doesn't rule out a bit of queer but I don't think she is. I just can't help it. A stupid part of me thinks that if I become her friend, she might feel differently. I know this isn't going to happen but I just can't help myself.
Been there, and still in the midst of a massive crush on someone whose orientation I don't know. Because I haven't considered myself gay for that long, I think I am going thru a second puberty, that's certainly what it feels like!
you just need to find out if she's into girls at all. if she's not - you're probably wasting your time bidding for a relationship. girls in general regardless of orientation are more touchy-feely than men. normally (straight) guys don't give each other hugs as friends but with girls - it's completely normal. so the fact that she gave you a hug, doesn't mean she's open to dating girls. she's just a girl, being a girl. maybe the best thing to do is to be open about your orientation. and see where the conversation goes. because if she's unaware that you're into girls (and knowing that she's more than likely straight or does date men) she's not just going to blurt out that she has feelings for you.
Oh, she knows about my orientation, we were talking about my coming out. Her hug was just a friendly thing, I know that. I told you, I'm just being silly. As for the second adolescence thing... Yes, this is exactly how I feel, because I never really had a first one as far as crushes etc went.
I'm 42. I can't say I've had huge, serious crushes since this current adventure began, but I think I'd be quite capable of having crushes. On a good night, I can go grocery shopping and see several men I really like. I think I've been noticing men more, too, although I always noticed a good looking man. The closest thing too a crush I've got is a guy I casually know. I don't have a crush on him, but I've been conscious of the fact that he's not even an option. So I keep that firmly in mind, and so far that's kept any crush at bay. But I think if circumstances were different, I could definitely have a crush on him.
Straight girl crushes don't usually work out. Someone once described it to me this way: "Even if she did like you back, there are only two options from there-- either she decides she's not gay or she decides she is, and neither one of those is ideal. It's hard to be someone's first gay experience." Worked out for me and my partner, but I think we're statistically rare.
It's a tough situation which sounds awfully familiar... Well, I'm really trying to get over my crush at the moment and this is what I'd advise you to do too.
I feel like that lol, I'm still technically a teenager, but I'm definitely way behind most of peers (even my other gay ones). I have an unrequited crush right now...and it doesn't like it's going to happen.
