What's the earliest you would consider moving in with someone?

I chose "6 to 12 months" because I *really* have to know a person before I make big decisions about things...hell, if I haven't known you for at least 3 months, I won't ride in the car with you if you're driving. Making a decision to live with someone is a very big thing and has the potential to turn very messy, so you have to be sure.

 

Pretty much this, depends how I felt about the person/the relationship though. If I was really in love and was sure about wanting to be with the person after 6-12 months then yeah i'd probably do it.

 

I'm not sure I ever could. For one, I simply cannot sleep in the same bed as someone else. I can't sleep, and I spend all night worrying about whether I'm disturbing the other person, I can't get comfortable and I can't move freely. This is a problem I don't ever anticipate going away. And secondly, while I would be open to such a relationship, I don't think I'd be very good at it. I find it nearly impossible to take in any kind of relationship, which basically leads to me burning out. Furthermore, I'm not sure I can be responsible enough.

 

Yeah I'd say about 6-12 months, at the the absolute earliest.

 

Another vote for 6-12 months. But honestly, it would probably be longer. I think to some degree, I'd need to feel the relationship would be potentially forever.

 

I don't have a number of months or year in mind. I think I'd consider moving in with a (currently nonexistent) boyfriend when meeting him becomes too difficult due to time constraint, and that I (we) want to push the relationship to the next level.

 

1-3 years for me. I view moving in together as a serious step and something I'll only commit to after I'm satisfied that our relationship is built on sound ground. I'm a slow burner, 6 months to me is still the early stages where we're getting to know each other, and I still feel that way at 12 months.

My stance has irritated more than one u-haul lesbian, and that's just fine with persnickety old me.

 

I feel the exact same way. I wouldn't want to like elbow the person in the bed because of my sleepjerks.

 

Well...you don't necessarily have to share the same bed. Or even the same room. I've heard of couples who do live in the same house/apartment/castle who sleep apart.

I'm not sure if I can sleep with another person. I haven't tried it in anything remotely resembling recent history. (But send me that boyfriend, as I suggested in the spooning thread, and I'll be sure to test!) Past pets (cats and a bird), and a former roommate's dogs, did, however, seem to survive the experience.

Whether or not I can sleep with another person, I can say that I'm pretty sure that one issue with living with another person is that I'd need space of some sort that's mine. A small den or something.

 

8:30 am. I need my sleep.

Seriously, I moved in with a guy after knowing him for eight months, and flirting for five. We only spent a total of ten days in each other's presence before moving in, however, because we lived 2000 miles apart and met online.

How'd it work out? Not bad. He's still here fifteen years later.

Lex

 

:lol:

Like so often, Lexington, you come up with the best post!

---------- Post added 26th Apr 2013 at 06:27 PM ----------

One thing that also hits me as I consider this: to some degree, it's not uncommon to move in and live with someone as a pure roommate with hardly knowing that person. College dorm roommates are often someone you don't even meet, you get given, and you are stuck with, come hell or high water until May/June. (Yes, if things get really bad, that may change.) Or one might select a roommate off that classified site that I'm not sure I can name, but is well known with rusty cars, outdated computers, and hookups.

Of course, there is a huge difference between a roommate and someone one is dating. But it's still interesting how much more caution we have with one vs the other. And that includes me.

 

Not until after a year or more. At one year, it sounds like a long time but to me it really isn't, and I wouldn't want to push my luck and move in only to move out in the end if we broke up.

If they wanted to move in with me, I'd say the same thing.

 

My best friend claims I moved in with my partner within two weeks of meeting him, but that's an exaggeration. It was more like a month to 6 wks according to my partner (I just asked him, although he admits his memory is fuzzy on this point). We basically got tired of him shuttling me back and forth between my best friend's house and his house and anyway half my clothes were at his house and I was staying there most nights.

That said, I always had the option of moving back to my best friend's house any time I wanted (she had been trying to convince me to move to VA for years, and she and her husband had a mother-in-law suite in their house so it wasn't like I just had the guestroom or something). I likely would have taken things much more slowly if moving in together had involved giving up/signing a lease or the like.

As far as sleeping arrangements - we started out doing the sleeping together thing, but didn't do it long enough to ever get comfortable with it. Before that happened, one of us (don't remember who) got the flu and my partner moved into the other bedroom to avoid the joy being shared. Turns out we both slept a lot better (a bed to ourselves, he snores, I sprawl and take over the whole bed, etc.) and we've kept the arrangement ever since. Our rooms are right next to each other so it's not like it's a long walk when we want to be together and each having our own space is kind of nice sometimes.

The last time we slept in the same bed was in a hotel on vacation and we both agreed the next morning that the next trip we'd just spring for two beds.

Todd:smilewave

 

for those of you who can't sleep with someone, I can't sleep alone. To my delight Mike holds me all night long. I get so scared out here in the country alone and it was the same in the city. I hate being alone! Mike was the quickest to stay with me at a couple of weeks, but he still maintains his place until October when the lease is up on his place. Aside from one big event we have a great relationship.

In the past I move in with John right away and he and I never fought, he cherished the ground I walked on for 2 1/2 years until he was killed. I was a dutifull wife to him and he was a loving husband to me. I was 24 when he died.

Ken I dated 6 to 8 months and the 4 1/2 years we lived together he abused me every day verbally, and mentally. Phisically every so often. So I think it is BS about getting to know someone long term before moving in. I never saw that comming with Ken, and he had me thinking it was my fault and I was lucky he would put up with me. Boy my head was f-ed up after him! I say go with your instincts, because with that one in the beginning was run away fast! June

 

I feel in a future relationship, I'll find someone who would want to sleep in the same bed just for the intimacy, which I think is necessary for a relationship to work with me. Just... weird feelings man. xD