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Terrible first kiss?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lawRAWR, Apr 27, 2013.

  1. lawRAWR

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    I have only kissed one person, and that was my previous boyfriend. He invited me round his house and we watched a couple of films in his bed. It was kinda nice; we snuggled and it was cosy. But something didn't feel... right. Once the last film finished, we hugged tightly in bed and then I heard him clearing his throat and I heard him moving his mouth, clearing any saliva and stuff. I was thinking 'uh oh.' and his breath didn't smell that great, either. :bang:

    Anyway, he leant in and we kissed like three times, it was DISGUSTING. It was both of our first kisses, so it wasn't going to be great, but he was all sloppy and ughh. He later told me that he loved it and that I was a good kisser.

    I went home and I cried. All of the things people had said about first kisses being magical and romantic had all smashed in those moments. Nothing felt good about it. I talked to my mum about it and she said that one day I will find a boy that kisses amazingly, that sparks will fly through me. But I really cannot see that happening. I can imagine doing that with a girl but... with a guy... just no.

    I went home and couldn't eat my dinner and was almost sick.

    So, basically I was wondering if anyone could help me with this situation, and if anyone has had an experience that I described, and whether that helped them determine their sexuality.
     
  2. First kisses are never beautiful or romantic. Unless perhaps you really really like the person, but by the time you like a person enough, you've probably already kissed. First kisses are terrible. They're messy and out of sync. Sometimes they can be exciting, but that depends on the person - I expect you were a little distracted by your thoughts and feelings about your sexuality to get excited. How your first kiss went doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality. However, if you can only imagine wanting to kiss girls, that does mean something. A pretty big something.

    Perhaps you should wait and see what it's like to kiss a girl. There's no rush - it's not a big deal, just wait for it to happen eventually. That may give you the clues you're looking for.

    Remember that feelings about girls may be caused by things other than your sexual orientation. Simply your experience with kissing a guy could have put you off. I'm not saying that's likely - just that you may want to wait and see how you feel in the situation.
     
  3. BoiGeorge

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    Well I've never even been kissed. And I think I have super high and unrealistic expectations
     
  4. Dublin Boy

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    When I first kissed a Guy, even though we were both clean shaven, I was aware of the stubble coming into contact Lol
     
  5. Connor22

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    My first kiss happened on a park bench and I was so surprised when he did it the only thing I could think of to say was "oh" and sit there staring at the road XD

    Lesson here kids; Kissing is not how it looks on TV
     
  6. Kerze

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    My first kiss tasted of vodka and regret and included far too much stubble (it was very dark, I went in blind and missed his mouth by about an inch :icon_redf I guess I should be thankful we were both drunk and inexperienced enough for it to be funny). Fortunately I have apparently gotten better since then.

    When people tell you about their 'magical' first kiss they're generally over-romanticising it and excluding all the awkward details. It'll get better, don't worry about it.
     
  7. Eliza

    Eliza Guest

    I'm not entirely sure what to count as my first kiss. My brother's best friend tried to kiss me behind the garage when I was four and he was six, and it was horrible, but I don't think it counts if you're a kid, right?

    Then there were a bunch of teenage kisses that were just awkward and terrible because inexperienced teenagers are bad kissers. One boyfriend tried to gnaw my face off. True story.

    But I wonder if I wouldn't have minded that so much if I had been attracted to any of those boys. Who can say?
     
  8. HeyAshley

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    if you think first kisses are always romantic & special, you should probably stop watching the notebook. i'm not saying they're never "perfect" but unless you make a serious effort to create the time, place and person for a first kiss - it's just... a kiss.

    edit: i'm not saying you're not bi/les but you can't determine that because one guy kissed you horribly.
     
  9. MichaelB

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    Definitely this.

    I don't wanna put you off, and I am in the minority when I say this (all my friends disagree with me) but I personally find kissing disgusting anyway. I mean, think about it; you're sucking the spit out of someones mouth.

    I don't like the feeling, I don't like the noise (the noise makes me want to be sick >_>) and I don't like the concept. Everything about it is disgusting, no matter the person.

    Slightly off-topic rant, but meh, in my opinion it doesn't matter if you aren't a good kisser because A ) you WILL get better and B ) kissing is disgusting and should only be done when alcohol has been consumed. Even then, it's probably more disgusting, but at least you (probably) won't remember it. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  10. LailaForbidden

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    My first kiss with a guy was disgusting. I definitely didn't consent to it. I even told him to stop and eventually had to force him off me when he wouldn't. I wasn't attracted to him in the slightest and he was kind of... heavy and sweaty. I was riding my bike all day and it was summer, so I already felt really gross. The whole situation was just really uncomfortable.

    But, at the end of the day, that kiss was one situation. It doesn't mean I'm not attracted to men. It just means that I wasn't attract to him. (and I did not appreciate that he basically "rape-kissed" me)
    Does it mean the same for you? Maybe, maybe not. As other people are saying, one kiss with one guy may not mean much.
     
    #10 LailaForbidden, Apr 27, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2013
  11. lawRAWR

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    I'm not 'determing' my sexuality on this situation, it's just one of the factors...
     
  12. MancGal90

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    i was 16 when i had my first kiss, with an ex boyfriend, it was more like a peck than a snog lol but it wasn't very nice, but then I kissed my ex girlfriend which was a hell of a lot better, girls definitely kiss better than boys
     
  13. drwinchester

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    My first kiss was with my friend, later girlfriend and ex (at the the time we were dating, we both assumed the other was cisgendered and female- my ex later came out as genderqueer)
    So we were just kind of out and about with our friends. At an arcade, and my friend and I challenged each other to a bunch of dares. Loser would have to do another dare and it was stuff like doing five laps around the arcade, buying the winner a drink, etc. And, of course, having to kiss the winner. I had a huge crush on my friend so I wasn't all too subtle when it came to my excitement.
    So later, we did the dares and, of course, I won and got the kiss. So we wait until late, trying to find a place to do it. Walked around the downtown area nearby. We found some place by a pier and then we made the attempt.
    Problem was, we had a bit of a lack of communication on that part and so my friend's leaning in to give me a peck on the lips, I'm going for an open mouth, movie star kiss. So I looked something like this:
    http://www.curiositiesbydickens.com/we-need-to-work-on-your-kissing-skills/
     
    #13 drwinchester, Apr 27, 2013
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  14. Niko

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    My first kiss was taken by some person who I knew all of three hours. :dry: I was at an anime convention...and let's just say fangirls are crazy. Since I was cosplaying a certain character they wanted me to preform yaoi with this chick who was dressed up as someone, who the fans OTP'd. I kept putting my foot down by saying No I wouldn't do it, but that certainly wasn't enough. The fans pushed me on top of this girl, who then proceeded to pull me closer and kissed me. It was so wet and sloppy that I felt sick afterwards.:confused:
     
    #14 Niko, Apr 27, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2013
  15. Dublin Boy

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    :roflmao:
     
  16. Cotillion

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    My first kiss was actually not that bad. It was quite nice, actually. >.>
     
  17. JPC

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    My first kiss was pretty great, she did a little neck work first and then went in for the kill. I haven't kissed a guy yet, I'm hoping that'll be better somehow.
     
  18. evora

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    I had a terrible first kiss as well and this is exactly what he told me!

    I'm not sure if this experience helped me determine my sexuality (which I realized only a year and two months later after the event), but at the time it definitely made me even more confused than I already was.
     
  19. YellowStars

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    my first kiss was horrible and it was with someone I liked and was attracted to very much. some people are good kissers, some are bad, and sometimes it takes somewhat often awkward and honest communication to figure out how to kiss each other well. (by the time we broke up, aforementioned first kiss and I had figured out how to make out with each other perfectly haha)

    it sounds like your guy was being beyond inconsiderate though, seeing as he didn't even pause to ask if you wanted to kiss or if you had liked it. not wanting to be kissed often has a pretty big impact on whether you enjoy the kiss or not....
     
  20. Britishskittles

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    My first kiss with a guy felt forceful and slobberish to me and the minute he kissed me the first thing that came into my head was yep i'm defiantly gay because In my head I already knew, but then the first I had with a girl was amazing because id learnt how to kiss better and It just felt right