So my only friend, and the only person who knows I'm gay, keeps going on about online dating. Specifically that we need to find me a girlfriend and how she wants a boyfriend and how we could do it simultaneously so we're 'in the same boat' or whatever. And I keep telling her stuff like I'm not that desperate and I don't really need a girlfriend or want one. But the thing that's getting to me is that for her it's like, she has to think about whether she wants the commitment, has the time, that sort of thing. But for me it's more along the lines of whether I want the commitment, have the time, what I'll tell my parents and colleagues, whether anything will change, what people will think, and whether I want to put myself in the position that may pose a risk to my safety. And the whole time's she's so blazé about it, like oh yeah, we'll get you a girlfriend and I feel like telling her 'no, you have no idea what I'd have to go through and I'm simply not ready for that'. Does anybody else have this problem? Or any suggestions?
Do what makes you feel comfortable. We all have friends who try and force us into things we arent ready for. My friends are like 'youre 18 and have never had a serious relationship! We need to hook you up wih someone'. And I decline. If you arent comfortable dont do it
Tell her how you feel in a way that you'll get the point across and that she won't get mad or offended. Just be yourself. When you're ready you'll know and if you feel like telling her when you are then go ahead. Do what you feel is right.
Then, if you wouldn't use online dating, you'd have to figure out if the person is inserted or even LGBT. There are soooooooooooo many factors. It's not that easy! Do what makes you feel comfortable. However, don't be afraid to step out there. I really don't have this problem specifically, because I really do want a relationship. However, I don't want just any relationship. It's difficult because people do not understand what we go through! Just be honest and say you don't want to. It's not the end of the world! If your friend can't take it, then you might need to look at your friendship.
