A holiday message

As the holidays roll around, I wanted to share a few thoughts from someone experiencing his first ``gay`` Christmas. A year ago I was still searching for my sexual identity. In a few short months, I’m out to my entire family, most of my friends, and happier than I’ve been in ages. You folks here at EC have provided a lot of moral support. I think people here genuinely care about each other and it’s not just bullshit.

The guys I’ve met locally gave me first opportunities to really love someone, a feeling I still can’t describe adequately, somewhere between heaven, orgasm, a dog licking your face, a passionate kiss, a sunrise too awesome for words, music that moves you to tears…

I’ve also encountered my fist case of heartbreak. My dream boyfriend went back to his former, for economic reasons, so I’d like to think. Meanwhile, a number of his photos adorn my new apartment. We’re staying in touch and I’m not giving up hope. Wonder what the landlord will think, or visitors over the holidays? Who cares when you’re in love.

Smooth sailing? Not by a longshot. For the first time in my life I’m learning that you have to pursue love. It just doesn’t fall in your lap. The chase is beautiful, the results are mixed, the journey unforgettable. Shit, I have 3 part-time boyfriends but I haven’t slept with any of them (and all 3 wanted to). Yup. Sometimes I’m stupid and scared shitless. But I have kissed and hugged my boyfriend(s) in public. The look on the Arab taxi driver’s face is something I won’t forget soon. It wasn’t the vision of tolerance or approval but I did get home safely.

I have no idea how I will spend Christmas or New Year’s. All I know is that it will be warm and loving, even if I can’t spend it with the guy I love. Make it safe, make it happy. Life is so much worth living, even when all the pieces don’t seem to fall into place the way we planned. There are always surprises that make every moment worthwhile. Friends who support you, people who love you the way you are.

Thanks to everyone here who made my journey easier and downright fun in the last year. There were more than a few days when I thought that being gay was just a bad nightmare, something I just imagined, nothing permanent. Then I would check in here and realize I was not alone. If guys and gals under 18 can deal with the challenge, I can too.

I wish all of you a holiday season filled with love and understanding, tolerance, and patience. Make someone else feel good, even if you’re not feeling so hot yourself. The returns are amazing. (&&&)

 

Thanks Jamie & TriBi,

I'm jealous of your (TriBi) summer weather in Australia. Suppose I could take a warm bath or hit one of the local indoor pools and imagine it was summer .

 

Yeah Jamie,
the Christmas markets and gluehwein are definitely fun :eusa_danc . But this year it's been so mild that the Christmas spirit was lacking a bit. Doesn't look like we're getting any snow either. Whereabouts in Germany did you visit?

 

Hey that's cool! I was born near Dortmund in Recklinghausen but raised in Chicago. Also have relatives in Munster. Now I live in a very gay friendly city. Visited the Christmas market yesterday and had some of that great gluehwein .