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Can homophobic people change?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JPC, May 1, 2013.

  1. JPC

    JPC Guest

    That's probably worded incorrect, I know they can change, but does it happen often?

    I was at a party last night with a really good friend of mine (who doesn't know I'm gay) and we somehow ended up talking about comedians and I happened to mention that I really liked Alan Carr (rather flamboyant gay comedian). My friends face immediately changed, it was as if I told him his whole family had died or something, he was totally disgusted and said "he's such a :***: faggot, I hate him". This seems to be a recurring theme in my group of friends (I posted yesterday about some more close friends who have distanced themselves from me since I told them). I know I can't change, but I don't know if a homophobic person can really change or not as it's a mindset that seems to be almost engrained in them.
     
    #1 JPC, May 1, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2013
  2. Hefiel

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    Homophobia is something that goes away with education, but this require the person to seek such education, which is not extremely common except for parents of LGBT children (some of which only seeks this knowledge when it is already too late).
     
  3. The Escapist

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    What Hefiel said. It really just requires you to honestly think about it, rather than continue to accept the belief everyone tells you without question.
    I used to be, now I'm not. That took me losing my religion to come to it personally, so I suppose it takes alot for some people. (Of course there are plenty of accepting religious people too.)
     
  4. Reptillian

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    Homophobia goes away with empathy and education. Education alones does not neccesarily makes someone less homophobic as there are homophobes who do have a lot of understanding of sexuality.
     
  5. stuffiscool

    stuffiscool Guest

    I'm sorry you had to go through that. But some homophobic people do change.

    I was homophobic and transphobic because I was raised to believe that homosexuality is a sin. I would protest greatly whenever someone dared mention something about GSM (gender & sexual minorities). After being exposed to stories of various GSMs, I decided that being GSM wasn't hurting anyone and that they couldn't change who they were, so it was alright.

    One of my friends was homophobic and told me and my girlfriend that she would stop being friends with us if we had sex (as if it was any of her business). But during college (a Catholic college, ironically), she met gay boys and decided homosexuality wasn't so disgusting after all.

    Another one of my friends was homophobic and said she wouldn't want to stay in the all-girls dorm I'm in because she thought the lack of boys would turn us into lesbians. The, she took a Gay & Lesbian Literature class and and started supporting the whole GSM rainbow.

    I guess what I'm saying is, don't give up hope! Education and meeting GSMs can change minds.
     
  6. The Escapist

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    Good point.
     
  7. JPC

    JPC Guest

    I have to agree that the only way a person will get over it is through education, but the chances of people actively going out and educating themselves about it are slim to none.

    Religion is often a big factor in it but, in my experience, the most homophobic people I know aren't even slightly religious, I think it's mostly borne out of stupidity and childishness. It's almost like the playground in tv shows where kids run way from each other so that they don't get 'cooties'. it's like "stay away from the gay guy or you'll catch his AIDS" or this huge fear that they are just too irresistable to us that we might just pounce on them at any moment.

    It's completely ridiculous and crazy and I worry that most people just don't want to go to the effort of removing themselves from that way of thinking.
     
  8. Boyfriend

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    Well, the problem with the example is that a person like Alan Carr is a bit over the top and even if he was straight he would have people "hating" him for what he is like. You know what I mean?
    A lot of people just can't deal well with flamboyant people. What is the friends' idea about a person like Melissa Etheridge for instance?

    For the rest I can only agree with the rest. Homophobes are made and not born.
    The problem is bigger when they stay in a homophobic or very stereotype straight inviroment, like where I live. I'm sure some of the guys I know would be mild or even understanding about gay people if I would take them apart, but as a group they are like wolves, cause no one wants to be different from the rest. Reason why I haven't come out yet in my town.
     
  9. malachite

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    like most prejudice it tends to go away once they actually get to know people from the race, religion, creed, etc that they don't like.

    The problem is most people don't want to do that, cause ya know they're ideals are right.
     
  10. Hefiel

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    There is a certain element of fear attached with the unknown. It's not unusual for people to choose ignorance over knowledge, regardless of the subject, to preserve their imaginary state of mind and comfort.

    As they say, Ignorance is bliss.
     
  11. JPC

    JPC Guest

    I completely agree but this guy is just a nasty homophobe in general. I talked about a comment he made a while ago in an older post, we were at a student bar and I mentioned how strange it was that we never see a certain group of people from our class there and he responded with something like "It's because they're gay, and they've put a gaydar above the door to let us know when gay people getting close so that someone can go out and tell them to leave".
     
  12. The Escapist

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    Oh, I remember that other comment you just mentioned too. Yeah, he doesn't sound very nice. :frowning2: Maybe one day he will find the truth, but until that day you don't have to be friends with him if you choose not to. You don't have to surround yourself with negativity. (*hug*)
     
  13. JPC

    JPC Guest

    Yeah I feel like I probably shouldn't be friends with him :lol:, but we've known each for a long time and we have loads in common and get along so well. It's just this one thing (albeit a pretty huge thing) that really pisses me off about him but I don't want to go down the road of picking my friends on the basis of my sexuality because that's only one aspect of who I am and I don't really want it to dominate my decisions and how I live my life if that makes any sense.
     
  14. The Escapist

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    I get what you're saying, whatever works for you. :slight_smile:
    For me, someone "against" my orientation is a big barrier for me being friends with them. It's like them being "against" my blue eyes. It's just there. Just a part of me.
    And because it's a part of me, rather than a choice I've made, it hurts more.
     
  15. TSN2012

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    Homophobic people can definitely change. But the effort it takes to change the person's view will depend on the individual. I personally believe that you can even make the most homophobic people more 'open-minded' but the chance is very slim (even less than 1%).
    Some homophobes, on the other hand, will easily change their view/perspective about LGBT people with the right environment and the right information and influence. I had this friend who used to study at my school, and I remembered him saying how much he hates gay people, and that he would completely stop hanging out with a gay friend if his/her sexuality somehow got revealed.
    Then he went to study in the US, turned Christian, and one day posted a story (on Facebook) about how two gay guys were kicked out from a mall for holding hands, and with that he wrote, "Can't believe that this kind of thing still happens in the 21st century. Everybody is human." That completely took me by surprise hahaha. I think Barrack Obama was the major influence that made him change his mind because he always posted about Obama with a #CHANGE hashtag.
     
    #15 TSN2012, May 1, 2013
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  16. CarrotSticks

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    Well, usually I don't think so.. but if they were you're real friends, they wouldn't act like that.. at least thats what I think... ><
     
  17. gordilocks

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    i know i did
     
  18. Boyfriend

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    It's almost always about friends that don't know you are gay....
     
  19. LoganJaykob12

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    I believe that people are against what they don't know Therefore, if a homophobic learned more about homosexuality, their opinion on homosexuals may or may not change.
     
  20. hkboy93

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    Some people are so thick and dense that they just will not get it until it effects them personally. I have a good friend as well but everytime we talk about LGBT stuff its like talking to a brick wall. If we come out to these people we can find out if they truly are our friends or whether they will change for the better.