so for those who dont know me i gave up everything to be myself. lost my job then my home, and things continue to slide downhill. i broke my phone out of anger cuz it wouldnt work, broke my back up phone trying to fix it... not like it matters nobody talks to me theres never any notifications on my phone, i have 1 friend. almost smashed my computer just now cuz i have to reboot 3 times for it to connect to wifi which makes no sense. besides that i try to network and it just doesnt happen. nobody wants to be close to me or even be my friend and thats fucked up cuz i got more heart than anyone i know. im down, even getting on hrt this month isnt making me smile at all. im poor, im broken, and i been alone for over a year now. staying at my parents now, which makes it harder to be myself cuz i grew up here, and they dont even want me here. honestly i dont see anything ever getting better and keep considering just ending it... i know everyones voice of reason is dont do that, but your not the one forever alone... and drew-ashlyn like my biggest inspiration posted a goodbye for now vid that actually made me cry. i just hoped moving out here i would b able to get out a little since i spent the last year isolating myself. but now that im out here its not happening everyone everywhere just ignores me. i even used some social sites and ppl dont even have it in them to say no i dont want to chill with you cuz your a monster (thats what the guy at the store called me and it stuck in my head even tho it shouldnt). idk im gonna go cry some more and smoke sum cigarettes i guess, idk what to do
(*hug*) I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Please stay strong. D: I know it hurts, but you most certainly are not a monster, don't listen to those a**holes. :\
How could you possibly say you're forever alone? It doesn't say in your profile but i'd guess but your picture you're not even close to 30. People make big decisions and changes in life and that seems like the work prior to doing it, but the work is actually living afterwards, this applies to many many situations. Time heals all wounds, as well as answers all questions. I've been single for two years and haven't had sex more then 4 times in the past 9 months, I'm twenty and have been forced to live with my bigot drunk father. Just keep living dude, and life will happen, i promise, it's inevitable.
I'm sorry that you're going through this hard time and that you're in so much pain. I promise that you will not be forever alone, and you are not a monster. Just keep staying the strong person that you are. I care and want to see things get better for you -- I know that they will. (*hug*)
Hey there, I don't really know what to say. I'm sorry about the situation your in, but at the very least you have a lot of courage. You lost all of those things just to be yourself. And now that you're you, you don't know what to do. Life has been unfair to you, but you need to keep battling and pushing through. As for the bigot who called you a monster, don't let his words affect you. The more they affect you, the more he wins. Don't let him win. But you know what? You're an inspiration to me and so many other people here at EC. I have some fears about being gay, sure, but when I look at someone as brave as you, who had to give up so much, I say to myself, "if she can do all of that just to be herself, than I can too." You keep doing you and things will turn around, eventually. I'm sure of it. Your laptop and cell phones, those are just things. They can be replaced. You can't. Don't do anything to hurt yourself, please. Just like your ee cummings quote says, "never stop fighting". You've come way to far to stop now. I hope things turn around for you, sincerely.
