Uh alright so my therapist at the LGBT center just finished his internship and left, we said our goodbyes on Friday. A new therapist won't be hired until the end of the month, not sure if I'm even going to go back to counseling or to the center. My parents and sister were out in Jersey this weekend, and feeling sick and depressed and alone I decided that I would spend the whole weekend getting drunk and high and stuffing my face. I've had a bad habit of going on binges like this, eating and drinking; every time I do it I regret it the next day and say never again, but eventually it will start seeming like a good idea again. I don't often drink and eat heavily, but when I do, I binge. Last night I drank 3 beers, a vodka martini, a glass of wine, and some scotch, then I ate a whole freakin pizza with garlic, onion, red pepper, oregano; also some tacos, yogurt, and a peanut butter smoothie, had 5 cups of coffee, and threw up twice before blacking out. Needless to say I feel like shit today. :eusa_sick Of course I've sworn never to do it again, yet I know in the back of my mind that I will. Does anyone have any history with binging? How do you control this impulse and stop doing it? Now I don't even have a therapist to talk to about all this! :eek:
I don't drink very often, maybe once a month if even that, but when I do I definitely binge a little.
The only binging I do is internet surfing. I can sit and refresh my favorite pages (like this one ) all day long if I don't stop myself.
Some of us are predisposed to addiction, though, in my case, it doesn't really know boundaries. If I stop one, I'll usually start another, which isn't always bad! Things like working out, learning a subject in-depth, or putting effort into work and chores can be positive and motivating changes. Others, like spending an entire day online, not so much. I don't really binge drink, since I'm an extreme light weight and would rather enjoy my time. The novelty of trying a new drink, especially the more costly types, is what hurts my wallet, so it's double: excessive spending and drinking. Connoisseur, addict, same thing, really.
Binge Drinker I am afraid, I know, Bad Boy, I need my ass spanked Lol I know it's bad for me, but I still do it, I should watch what I drink, My Mom gets on my back about it, all the time!
I'm a light weight and yet I still binge drink though. I'm only about 115 lbs, it doesn't take much to get me drunk and sick, especially when I'm on anti-depressants. I pretty much always end up throwing up when I drink. It's happened in public on numerous occasions. I ended up hospitalized once too. But I really hate alcohol and the way it makes me feel, I don't know why I drink. And I don't know why booze is legal while pot and other less destructive drugs are illegal.
Grandfathering, basically. Fermentation of alcohol goes back millenia, and has been a massive part of human culture for that entire time. If alcohol had never existed up until now and no one had ever heard of it, and someone up and discovered it tomorrow, I'd be pretty confident that there'd be not a chance in the seven hells of it ever being legalized. But because it's been around and so important to humanity for so long, it ends up getting a free pass.
You might have *indirectly* answered your own question: 'Sick and depressed and alone' 'On anti-depressants' We both have drinking problems, it looks like, but even if supposedly there were some underlying genetic factor, it's ultimately the environment that triggers it. I'm not a doctor, but I think it's obvious your life has been less-than-perfect up until now, and you might be feeling out of control. Drinking wouldn't solve those problems, but it could be used to give you a bit of 'control' back and help you cope with them. Just a theory, I could be way off. What you described is pretty extreme, and the only time I even came close to landing in a hospital, my life was pretty chaotic, enough for a normally cautious and rational person to not care that he risked dying. If anything, I enjoyed the feeling of coming close to death, or at least closer than I had been before, and wanted to replay it again and ASAP. Looking back, those perceptions were just as startling as disappointing. It doesn't make sense to keep doing something you don't enjoy and is harmful to your health, but again, if you feel your options are limited, this might be the only way you know on a subconscious level.
Well I'm not on anti-depressants now, that's probably why I was able to drink so much before throwing up. But it didn't sound like you had a drinking problem, other than trying new drinks? How have you dealt with your issues? The hospitalization happened last year at a party off-campus, I did drink a hell of a lot, but there was a lot more than just alcohol going around that party, since then I've been much more careful about drug use and mixing things.
Yeah, it's not like I'm dependent on alcohol or anything, even if alcoholism runs on both sides of the family. I'd never let it get that bad, and pretty much the moment I can't enjoy the drink anymore is the moment I lose interest, plus the excitement of intoxication wore off a long time ago. So in my case, what you have is someone with a closet full of half filled bottles of hard liquor and crates of craft beer I haven't even touched in weeks. Seems a waste, no? Depression is something else entirely, and isn't going away. It comes and it goes, and when it comes, my life crashes... I lose interest in school, work, and hobbies, can't be bothered to shower, exercise, eat, or get out of bed most the time. The internet becomes my life. It's clinical, so usually lasts weeks, but to the casual observer, I'm just a lazy college kid. I recently came off an SSRI cold turkey, and my grades this semester were just horrible all around, but this was more of a test to see how far I could get without them. Then, my home life is pretty chaotic, so that only feeds into my spells of depression. It's been lifting lately, and I'm taking interest in polyglottery, guitar, and socializing with others. Not sure how much you can relate to this, but a lot of times, the only thing you can do is to wait it out. :tantrum:
