Today On Dr Phil - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

katmando · 10th Apr 2008, 06:45 AM

Thought some of you might be interested. From the shows website

Thursday 4/10/08

Randall and Shawn were happily married until Shawn found gay magazines in her husband's bag. Now Randall is out of the closet, and he’s struggling to keep his family together. Shawn wants to know if they should stay married for their two pre-teen children or get a divorce.

joeyconnick · 10th Apr 2008, 09:35 AM

I think if a guy marries someone named "Shawn," that might be a sign that he's gay.

And without listening to that pompous blowhard, I think it's pretty clear that if he's gay and she's a woman, they should divorce. People are quite capable of having amicable divorces and sharing custody of their children. From everything I've heard/experienced it's much better to divorce when the children are younger (as opposed to waiting until they're in their teens). If they don't divorce then neither one of them are going to be able to have satisfying emotional/sexual lives unless they're committing adultery.

Staying married "for the children" is about the stupidest choice parents make. I should know--I'm the product of a family like that.

**Jim1454** · 10th Apr 2008, 10:52 AM

I don't think I've ever watched a Dr. Phil show... But this would be interesting if only because I can certainly relate to the situation.

If Dr. Phil has any suggestions other than - as Joey has already suggested - YES, get a divorce and don't stay together for the sake of the children, then HE needs to see a therapist. Being married is about having a spouse. Being a parent is about having kids. You don't need to be married to be a great parent. And in some situations, you're better off NOT to be married for the sake of the kids.

I've missed it, but I'll maybe watch for a rerun... Thanks for pointing it out, Justin!

beckyg · 10th Apr 2008, 10:54 AM

Turns out Randall and Shawne are PFLAG members down in California. Shawne is the woman.

**Jim1454** · 10th Apr 2008, 10:57 AM

You've already watched it? Cool!

beckyg · 10th Apr 2008, 11:13 AM

No, I haven't watched it but I got an e-mail from my PFLAG list saying that they had taped it a year ago and it was just now airing. It kind of sounded like they are still together.

10th Apr 2008, 11:16 AM

why is there an assumption that staying together would be best for the children.

absolutely not. they should definitly split.

Micah · 10th Apr 2008, 07:10 PM

Staying together and acting like they are in love would definitely not be good for the children.

But living together, and acknowledging that they are not in love, but raising the children together in a loving environment...it could work? The parents would have to forfit some of their own happiness, but it seems that they are willing to do that anyway to help their kids.

My Names Ashlee · 10th Apr 2008, 07:42 PM

I dont think it does anybody any good if you stay married if there is no love for the person yo uare married to.

10th Apr 2008, 06:45 AM	#1
katmando Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about! Location: Cleveland, Ohio Age: 32 Posts: 145 Join Date: Aug 2007	Today On Dr Phil Thought some of you might be interested. From the shows website Thursday 4/10/08 Randall and Shawn were happily married until Shawn found gay magazines in her husband's bag. Now Randall is out of the closet, and he’s struggling to keep his family together. Shawn wants to know if they should stay married for their two pre-teen children or get a divorce.

10th Apr 2008, 09:35 AM	#2
joeyconnick sine qua non Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 3,332 Join Date: Apr 2005	Re: Today On Dr Phil I think if a guy marries someone named "Shawn," that might be a sign that he's gay. And without listening to that pompous blowhard, I think it's pretty clear that if he's gay and she's a woman, they should divorce. People are quite capable of having amicable divorces and sharing custody of their children. From everything I've heard/experienced it's much better to divorce when the children are younger (as opposed to waiting until they're in their teens). If they don't divorce then neither one of them are going to be able to have satisfying emotional/sexual lives unless they're committing adultery. Staying married "for the children" is about the stupidest choice parents make. I should know--I'm the product of a family like that.

10th Apr 2008, 10:52 AM	#3
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 41 Posts: 7,449 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Today On Dr Phil I don't think I've ever watched a Dr. Phil show... But this would be interesting if only because I can certainly relate to the situation. If Dr. Phil has any suggestions other than - as Joey has already suggested - YES, get a divorce and don't stay together for the sake of the children, then HE needs to see a therapist. Being married is about having a spouse. Being a parent is about having kids. You don't need to be married to be a great parent. And in some situations, you're better off NOT to be married for the sake of the kids. I've missed it, but I'll maybe watch for a rerun... Thanks for pointing it out, Justin! __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

10th Apr 2008, 10:54 AM	#4
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Today On Dr Phil Turns out Randall and Shawne are PFLAG members down in California. Shawne is the woman. __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

10th Apr 2008, 10:57 AM	#5
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 41 Posts: 7,449 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Today On Dr Phil You've already watched it? Cool! __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

10th Apr 2008, 11:13 AM	#6
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Today On Dr Phil No, I haven't watched it but I got an e-mail from my PFLAG list saying that they had taped it a year ago and it was just now airing. It kind of sounded like they are still together. __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

10th Apr 2008, 11:16 AM	#7
Leigh Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Today On Dr Phil why is there an assumption that staying together would be best for the children. absolutely not. they should definitly split.

10th Apr 2008, 07:10 PM	#8
Micah ^_^ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to All Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 23 Posts: 2,532 Join Date: Feb 2005	Re: Today On Dr Phil Staying together and acting like they are in love would definitely not be good for the children. But living together, and acknowledging that they are not in love, but raising the children together in a loving environment...it could work? The parents would have to forfit some of their own happiness, but it seems that they are willing to do that anyway to help their kids. __________________ 　／l、（ﾟ､｡７　l、 ~ヽ　じしf_, )ノ

10th Apr 2008, 07:42 PM	#9
My Names Ashlee Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Some people Location: Phoenix,AZ Age: 23 Posts: 18 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Today On Dr Phil I dont think it does anybody any good if you stay married if there is no love for the person yo uare married to. __________________ Life is a one way road.

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