Ok WTF I thought sit ups will make you burn belly fat and tone you out! I was told today that actually you can't do spot reduction! Wtfffff my old personal trainer I had said yes you can! She's like doing sit ups build stomach muscle (abs) and in that process tightens the belly area losing fat! Well I'm happy I don't use her anymore! I havnt in a while I just took her advice! I assumed she knew what she was talking about! I don't need to loose belly fat I new to get more toned and more muscular that's what I have been trying to do! But no luck! Any Idea! How I can actually get better abs?
You can't spot burn fat. That's correct. Your trainer, if s/he is telling you otherwise, is full of it. Gentle suggestion: You're so incredibly obsessed with your body and your weight... maybe you should spend more time learning to love yourself *exactly as you are.* I realize your mom has spent 18 years criticizing you, but you gotta break loose of that BS somewhere, and this would be a great place to start.
You shouldn't be surprised. This is the same trainer that had you on an 800 calorie/day diet and said you could build muscle doing that too. Instead of exercising to improve how you look. You should exercise because it makes you healthy and helps your body feel better.
But the only reason one works on his/her body is to look good? At least that's what I would think? Society has such high standard on beauty and your body weight can actually affect your job. They did studies that prove it. It's much more stressed on women in the work place but men have it also. And for men the more facial hair you have the les you will get paid. It's all been proven I was shocked. That was off topic :O woops.... Lol but ya no idk I just want to stay thin and be sexy(er) lol JK but as much as I say I want to do this for "me" it's not its for society. I care far to much what people think of me and I know this and it sucks becuase my life is more stressful than it needs to. I can't just put somthing on and feel sexy, I have to do my hair my eyebrows my eye lashes my skin shave pick out what to wear and then I can leave. I wish I could feel sexy just wearing pajamas but I don't. Maybe its becuase of how I was raised and how I was taught beauty and good looks were. I have jealous issues at people who can walk around In their house in pajamas in my house we stay dressed up before we leav our rooms to do anything we have to be perfectly dressed. When I see people waking around confedint in anything old to baggy havnt done their hair yet they look so happy and confedint I get so upset because I am jealous that they feel good enough and happy enough to wear that and that they don't care what anyone thinks. I wear all designer brands becuase.... Honestly I dot even know they make me feel like a better person like I have meaning to people when I see people starring at me I almost get a adrenaline rush and I love it, I feel so confedint in designer clothing a confedince I don't have in anything else. I feel like unless I look good no one will ever love me, that comes from my parents and the way they raised me. I was raised to view fat people as "weak" people gluttonous people, I was raised being told that ugly people are disgusting an lazy if they wanted to look good all they need to do is try. My mother told me it should be illegal for 2 ugly people to have children becuase that child won't stand a chance at a happy life. IS THAT NOT DISGUSTING FOR HER TO SAY THAT!? Like I would have never questioned her before I came to EC becuase I had never really had a reality check, I never had anyone tell me that the way I was raised was wrong and shallow. My mother has ruined any sense of self confidence that I had or ever will have I think. My god when I was younger I was fat and I've talked about this before my mother was ashamed of me she wouldn't take me out in public she would tell me I was fat and I was ugly if I would loose weight I would be so handsome she would tell me my nose was ugly all these things. But when I Lost all that weight and became skinny she was proud of me I had a nose job for her because she wanted me to. She started talking me out places introducing me to people buying me anything I wanted we would go shopping go on vacations. So she pretty much enforced me being skinny and I guess I feel like if I become fat or ugly no one will ever love me. I can't see past that way of thinking I wish I could but I can't I try but I start thinking "if I get fat ill be so ugly no one will love me" and that's my biggest fear I think in my heart is no one loving me. And it weakens me inside. I have such anxiety becuase of my life I'm always stressed I never feel like I look good enough I always look in the mirror for ways to improve myself. My mother has had her whole face redone she looks so fake but she looks pretty. Can you see why I am always stressed!!!! Why my anxiety is at a max right now I am getting heart palpitations and I wake up short of breath! People think that with money comes an easy life a happy life no worrie what they don't realize (not all the time) is that families like mine appearance is everything. When you have huge business people coming to your homes for parties looks are a lot in business if you have money you better show you have money in any way you can with cars, cloths, homes. becuase no one will take you seriously if you don't have these things. I would rather be poor or just getting by and be fucking happy for once have a close family who loves one and other and does things together and actually lives together every day a family that does things on weekends goes for hikes. My family doenst do that I would cherish every moment if we did I used to go to the lake house to relax but once again it is just another thing I do alone and it SUCKS! I live at my everyday home mostly living by myself and if my parents are home my father is in his office and my mother in her room on her phone or in the gym or in the pool. And my brother is always back and forth between LA and here seeing his girlfriend and when he's home he is god knows where. So yes I know that I shouldn't care about looks and I should do it to be healthy all these thing I have heard so many times but I can't process it i can hear it but my mind won't accept it Sorry for writing so much but hopefully getting this of my chest will actually help me get some sleep tonight :/
This x 1000. At some point you have to accept that the only person who can change all this is you. No-one else, only you, and you have to start making more effort to do so. At some point it has to click that none of the things you obsess over, money, weight, looks, etc, really matter or have any relevance to happiness. Fuck what the big business people think when they come to your house and what they 'expect', why should you care about their opinions? You're letting yourself get annoyed by things that simply don't matter. You're repeatedly saying the same things and people are repeatedly giving you the same advice. That cycle can't continue forever, somehow you need to put more effort into changing how you think about yourself and about life because I really don't think there's any more a forum like this can do. I know it's not easy, but you have to try harder to change the way you think about things. Do you have any hobbies or anything you can use to take your mind off of all this crap?
People tend to work on their body to be healthy too, you know. To enable them to have the quality of life they'd like (outside of physical appearance) and do things they otherwise wouldn't be able to do (ex. some people may feel they don't have enough muscle, so they work out in order to be stronger, not look stronger).
No I don't have any hobbies sometimes ill play games in my room on Xbox but that's it. My anxiety is really bad I havnt slept in 2 days I am so tired I just can't sleep. I have so much stress in my life. ---------- Post added 7th May 2013 at 05:40 AM ---------- And when I do fall asleep like 5 min later I wake up out of breath my heart is pounding obviously somthing is bothering me I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT
That isn't a hobby! Maybe you need to look into doing something that's worthwhile and gets your mind off things, does music or photography interest you? Maybe learn to play an instrument or get a camera, take up mountain biking, or something. Anything. The problem is you spend so much time complaining about how shit your life is but from what I can see you don't make any effort whatsoever to change it, when something you don't like happens you just come here and complain bitterly about it. If you could focus the large amount of energy you spend doing that on something like a worthwhile and rewarding hobby then I'm fairly sure you'd start feeling better very quickly. Again though, the effort to do that has to come from you, no-one else can do it and you need to accept that before you can move on.
