This might seem like a weird question, but whatever. I'm expecting to have surgery in five months time, trans related stuff that I can't discuss without revealing that I'm trans. Now that I'm trying to get employed, I have to tell potential employers that I'm getting surgery, and I need to know what to say if I'm asked what it is. Yes, I know I can't be forced to say anything, but if pushed and I refuse it will be obvious I'm hiding something. What kind of surgery might someone my age be having? It can't be embarrassing or in any way sexual. It can't be life threatening because I'm planning ahead for it. And it can't be cosmetic. And it needs to be something I can recover from in no less than five weeks. Ideas?
Cyst/benign tumour removal? gall bladder removal?? that might be a stretch but young people get it all the time, my sister had hers out when she was 17.
What do they call it when guys have breasts and they reduce them? Gynecomastia? That way you don't need to lie... And also they won't find it odd if you can't lift your arms or something. Cause being away for surgery is one thing, but you are bound to have some after effects to deal with too.... Or is it about the crotch part? I just read that it can't be cosmetic. You might call breast reduction in men cosmetic, I suppose. Sorry.
Honestly? I recently had breast reduction surgery and had to take off of work and for the most part, when you say you're having surgery, most people don't inquire too deeply. I would just say, "i'm having surgery, nothing TOO serious" and then say how long I would be out of commission and then change the subject. Most people have the sense to know that some medical stuff isn't something you want to talk about with everyone.
That seems like a possibility, I'll look into that to see if it fits the criteria. I have considered this, but I think that doing something for a preventative measure might annoy them. After all, it doesn't really justify taking a month or more off work. Thats a little too close to the truth for my taste. And kind of embarrassing. I've been told that the thing about lifting arms only lasts three weeks, so it shouldn't cause trouble at work. Yeah, that would work. I'll look into that. I was asked to elaborate on my impending surgery today. Until then, I'd been assuming I wouldn't be asked about any detail as well. Thank you all for your responses.
You can always opt for "I'd rather not talk about it" and they'll just assume it's some kind of butt thing.
Where exactly do you live? Because depending on where you do live, if ou are honest about the surgery to your employer, they CANNOT fire you for it
Oh, I know I'm legally protected. But I'm stealth, and I don't want anyone finding out. Even if they can't legally discriminate against me, it always changes things. It will be when they're hiring me, anyway. And besides, its nearly impossible to prove direct discrimination.
Well I always think that things close to the truth are easiest. Embarrassing yes, it is embarrassing for guys to have breasts, so people totally sympatize!!!! And what about the chance of actually seeing the scars, or lack of it, at some point? At least if you said you had breast reduction it makes totall sense you have scars there and nobody asks. If you have told something else and there is no scar there but at another place, it raises questions.... But it's your lie, you must go with what feels comfortabel for YOU!
Honestly, if I try to follow the 'almost truth' path, it will go badly. I'll start dodging questions rather than answering directly, when its completely unnecessary. The problem about gynocomastia is that it suggests a hormone imbalance, which suggests femininity to the average person, which may cause them to look for female traits, and yes I'm probably being completely paranoid, but I can't help it lol. I doubt anyone will see the scars. I'd only be at the workplace for a year, and I wouldn't be taking off my shirt on a matter of habit.
I don't know if I'd recommend the benign tumor one. I know someone that had one removed in their early teens and she went hiking with me less than four days later. Granted, I don't know all the specifics of her surgery or the tumor but be careful with that one. Personally, I'd go with knee surgery or some surgery to correct some type of sport related injury. That would make sense for someone in their late teens/early tenties. In high school, I knew a few athletes that had to have surgery after injuring themselves. You can say you need five weeks to heal because your doctor is uncomfortable with you working so soon. Just a suggestion
They don't have to know. If you work at a place that will really, really, really judge you or potentially fire you because you have surgery, you shouldn't be there. Also, don't lie. Don't even try to lie. That really would go badly. They hopefully can't fire you for the surgery, but if you plan it and say "it's my business.... I'm having necessary surgery" or something then they don't have any wood for the fire. But I could easily see them make a case like "you lied about your surgery.....etc...."
How much time do you need off? If it is just a day or two just tell them you need a couple of days off for personal business and leave it at that. If you need more time like a week or two, you can tell them you need time off for medical reasons and leave it at that. Now you may be asked, just out of personal concern, just say that it is nothing serious and that you would rather not discuss it.
