So recently I have come out at school :icon_bigg and nothing bad has happened relating to my sexuality so far. But after I came out, I was approached by another guy in my year who was closeted. I helped him with the process and now he's out. But sometime while I was helping him, he developed feelings for me :/ and it's not that I have a problem with it, he's just not my type. So I hurt him by turning him down. Then on Friday, one of my friends came out to me as bisexual. I started helping him with the process as well, and once again he started having a crush on me. The first two LGBT encounters I have had ended with them being attracted to me, but I'm pretty sure this is only because I am the only other out gay in our school. Has this happened to anyone else? I think it would be more likely for teens because not everyone has accepted themselves yet.
I have never had this experience before, but I remember that when I was at school their where these two lesbians and they seemed like different people completely, as in one was a football mad 'tom boy' and the other was a girly "ill just sit hear and do my nails kind of person". but still they ended up being in a relationship. The thing is that when you are in what appears to be a straight mans world the first gay guy you see you just think 'yes! some one like me' and you just become lost in infatuation and then end up falling for this only other guy / girl, dispute that they may not be the right person for you.
I doubt they're attracted to you because you're the 'only out gay' at school. They like you for you, and judging from your post, you're probably someone with good people skills. Someone they feel at ease with and can trust. And yeah, hormones might play a small part in it.
It is possible though that the fact you are the only one available caused or aided their infatuation. I know the first actual real life gay guy I met I crushed on HARD. and ended up getting hurt when I got turned down. In hindsight we were indeed a horrible horrible match for a relationship. Still we have been good friends now for years. I still have some resentment though to be honest, even though I wouldn't date him under any circumstances lol
Helping someone come out of the closet is a very personal and emotional relationship for the person you help no different than if you were dating. You have the honor of their trust and a bond to go with it. If you go through this again you will have to set boundaries of expectations early on.
I've had to turn down both boys and girls. It always sucks. That never changes. As for (more specifically) helping closeted people come out and THEN finding out they were attracted to me, no, that's never happened, because the only (partially) closeted person I know in real life is bisexual and has a very strong relationship with his GF (not to mention that neither of us are each other's types). Sorry it happened twice in a row for you :/
A guy I helped come out and I dated for like nine months, before I told him that I was "just the first" and he'll be infatuated with some other better guy soon. Note: He is now. Don't feel bad turning them down. Having their friendship will always be better
