Well today was a really bad day for me. You know that day when absolutely everything that could possibly go wrong..does go wrong?! Well that was today. And since those are my down days, and I'm still in a question phase, I brought myself way down and resorted to admitting to a friend that I might not be completely gay, which for all I know I might not be (I don't like labels, I'm just not straight) well, that was a really bad Idea but that's not the point. Anyway, after a few hours of hating my sexuality, I ran into two of the most adorable les couples out there, and suddenly everything turned bright sight up again. Now my question is, why on earth do I need someone else's happiness to make me feel good about who I am? Why I can't I just be happy on my own? :eusa_doh:
You could be seeing this couple as yourself under similar conditions a happy lesbian couple. It is a source of reassurance that you can be happy as a lesbian where your telling someone you may be BI seems to be doubt of happiness as a lesbian. You may want to lighten up and try to just enjoy yourself and not figure out the rest so soon. It will sort it's self out.
Sometimes one needs to see something positive to feel positive. As for being happy on your own, its possible if you stop "worrying" about it. I usually try to find something that makes me laugh after a bad day. I'm not sure if that helps.
If you can find to be happy today not sometime in the future when something changes such a new relationship then you have a lot more than most. The bad part of life is you only know the good parts from looking back on them. If you don’t define your sexuality now than the right person will do that for you, male or female you will know when you meet them. A lot of the people at eighteen that seem to have it all will be the same ones visiting their kids at their ex-wives and some of them will die early on. I did a lot of crazy stuff as a teen looking back I am surprised I didn't end up in jail or dead but somehow I hung onto the right woman. I was seventeen when we started dating and I am fifty two now. I always felt like I had to catch up to her and the time to do that was limited but with the right person you just seem to grow together. People are a work in progress and you just do the best with what you have at the time.