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This might be a little controversial and it's a hypothetical

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Reptillian, May 10, 2013.

  1. Reptillian

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    What if you met a person who has no natural sexual inclination based upon intrinsic inclined conceptualized feeling of sexual attraction and is capable of enjoying sex with either sexes. He/She defines sexuality as sexual identity in respect to his/her sexual activities and sexual exploration. As she/he has no sexual inclination, she/he can pick a team and switch as he/she pleases. He/She has told you that her/his sexuality is a choice as he/she can pick a team and she/he has no idea that many people experiences sexual attraction in a certain way that they may not be inclined to desire certain teams. You told him/her what many people experiences. He/She goes all confused and told you that she/he does not understand what this feeling of being inclined to be attracted to sex/sexes is about. What would you be thinking?
     
    #1 Reptillian, May 10, 2013
    Last edited: May 10, 2013
  2. Hexagon

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    If only everybody could be like this.

    But a question. Surely if this person has the ability to be attracted to either sex, they are bisexual, even if they choose to repress or not to act on the sexual feelings at a certain time? The idea of a 'choice' would then be rather non-sensical, because if the possibility to be attracted to either sex exists, that is bisexuality, regardless of what one chooses.
     
  3. Reptillian

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    The thing is that she/he doesn't experience that kind of attraction. She/He just enjoys sex can pick a sex as she/he pleases and switch whenever he/she wants. Plenty of asexuals can enjoy sex without attraction although most are inclined to prefer a sex/sexes.
     
    #3 Reptillian, May 10, 2013
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  4. Hexagon

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    Seems fine to me. I don't know why that would be controversial.
     
  5. FruitFly

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    If they enjoy sex regardless of the sex of their partner, I do not view that as picking their sexuality. They enjoy the act of sex, and the sex of their partner is not an important part of that enjoyment. They're acting out their own sexuality and selecting partners they wish to have sex with, it doesn't matter whether they decide to select one sex or another as that is not really picking a team so much as deciding to have sex with the people they've decided to have sex with with the decision every so often to only have sex with individuals of a particular sex (if I'm understanding your wording correctly). That's not really picking a team, it's just deciding that you're going to enjoy sex with a particular subset of the population for a particular period of time.

    It's not really controversial because that is who they are, their selection of a sexual partner is not based on actively choosing their orientation but an expression of their enjoyment of sex.
     
  6. Filip

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    Well, I'd be seriously wondering in what place they were brought up. Because places where one isn't exposed to the idea of attraction are pretty far between...
    Plus, I suppose I'd be baffled that this hasn't come up before talking to me. You'd think it had come up with, say, the people he/she actively experimented with.

    But, OK. Assuming we're talking purely as a thought experiment, I'd say it wouldn't much shake my worldview. Sure, I experienced it all differently, as did most of the people I ever talked to, but I don't think I should hold myself or even the majority of people as the one true way.
    And I definitely don't think it needs to have any big implications for broader sexuality issues. In the end, I don't think it matters whether it's nature or nurture, since people's intrinsic natures should be as well respected as their choices.

    I would ask this person if it's the same for romantic attractions, or even friendships. Sexual attraction is only one part of the puzzle, after all.
     
  7. Willjarvis

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    While the idea of sexual attraction is mentioned more or less all the time and everywhere, it isn't necessarily explained clearly enough for everyone to truly understand it. Someone who hasn't experienced it before may assume that he has, based on descriptions he's read or heard. He may incorrectly apply it to other feelings he has felt towards people or he may think "I was willing to have sex with him and I enjoyed it, therefore I must be attracted to him to some extent".
     
  8. Pain

    Pain Guest

    I'd consider their sexuality fluid on a basis of how they feel at any given moment. Not much more than that. They might not be into commitment. Ok. Cool, I know a bunch of people like that.
     
  9. Bobbybobby99

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    As a thought experiment, as agreed by others above me that person is either bisexual or pan. Just because he can switch between, he still likes both, and thusly is bisexual. He is simply repressing half of himself at any one time.
     
  10. Argentwing

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    The OP sounds functionally like me. I don't choose who attracts me, but I can choose who I pursue, and that's almost the same thing. And I DO have a hard time fully understanding either/or preference sometimes, because to me, I just see sexy people XD.