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Sexual orientation is a comforting fiction

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by argam, Dec 22, 2006.

  1. argam

    Regular Member

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    First, a quick set of definitions:

    Sexuality refers to sexual attraction, sexual actions, and all other aspects of the panoply that is human sexuality.

    Sexual orientation refers to the sex of the people whom one is attracted to.

    I would appreciate it if all comments to this thread utilized those terms properly.

    Sexual orientation is a construct of civilization, which has historically sought to mash people into neatly contained categories at the expense of truth and detail. Sexuality is a function of genetics and environment -- and, yes, to at least some extent, choice, but NOT in the "one day Bobby decided he was going to be a homosexual sinner!" manner which certain elements of a certain religion espouse. I believe that analogies are my best tool for conveying my meaning.

    Let's examine the trait of eye color. You cannot change your natural eye color. You can wear contact lenses to conceal it, and I suppose there might be some kind of ridiculous laser surgery that might affect it -- opthamology is not my area of expertise -- but for the most part your eye color remains the same from birth to death.

    On the other hand, there's musculature. I am naturally a very thin person. For someone of my size, I have developed quite a nice physique, but I am never going to be a musclehead, and I will always appear skinny. This overall state is due to several factors:

    *I'm naturally thin and small-boned and have a fast metabolism.
    *I love running and lifting weights.
    *I eat healthily. (I don't go for much sugar or dairy and am a vegetarian -- but if some ignoramous is going to claim that's why I'm skinny, let me iterate that my parents both are small-boned and that back when I used to eat large amounts of meat at every meal of the day I was STILL rail-thin.)

    As you can see, physique is a combination of genetically-determined musculature and environmentally-determined habits. Choice DOES factor into this, but only to a limited extent. I can choose to spend eighteen hours per day in the gym, but because of my body type I will never look like Arnold Schwarzenneger, and this I have accepted. AT THE SAME TIME, I do not have to be a bony half-starved urchinoid. Because of my genetics, my environment -- the availability of good food and of a gym -- and my choice to build the best body I can, my physique is the way it is.

    This choice is often not conscious, and in large part depends on habit. If I don't go to the gym for a while, it is very difficult to break the dome of malaise and get back into the game -- same with running. (A situation I'm falling into right now, because of a combination of serendipity and "oh, I'll run on the treadmill at the gym" but then not being able to go to the gym. Etc. I'm assuming you're beginning to see what I'm trying to say here.)

    So. The issue is: is sexual orientation almost purely genetic, like eye color, or does it depend on a complex interaction of environment, genetics, and choice?

    I'm opting for the former. I'm going to be upfront with my story. Midway through seventh grade, my sexuality began to emerge, and orientation-wise I was very drawn to people of my same sex. But I wonder; was the strong homophobia of the fifth and sixth grade, and the ridiculous gay rumor that spread about me in sixth grade and led to quite a bit of mockery and tearing-down by a few insecure people (it started when I misheard someone else's comment and responded, by way of a question, "I'm gay?" The other person took that to be a statement, rather than an attempt to clarify what she had just said, and it exploded from there), the root reason why I veered this way?

    In the end, I opt for "no." I think I am naturally homosexually inclined, and various experiences since then have supported that viewpoint. However, when I break my habit of masturbating to various gay fantasies and bring in some straight fare, IT IS ALSO EROTIC ... but in different ways.

    And now my own conflicting opinions are emerging, and I'm beginning to think I may be wrong, and sexual orientation is far closer to the eye-color side of the spectrum. But ...

    Okay. Obviously I need to continue clarifying my own thinking about this. My overall opinion remains thus: that sexual orientation and labeling are conveniences that we'd be better off without, and that the shedding of many sexual inhibitions would help us all. I think that any goings-on between consenting adults are their own private business, and that consent is the key factor. If ten men want to get married and have orgies every night with statues of Pan, then that's their perogative.
     
  2. davo-man

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    This was one of the most interesting posts ive seenin a while...for me i think it is a combination of genetics and environment....i think i gay person is gay simply because they are but this can be affected by other factors such as being sexually abused as a child...being raised by homophobis parents...i dont think there is a simple answer here and i also believe in the Kinsey scale where every person is not fully one sexuallity but a combination of everything...hence i would be 90% gay but `10% straight ..this is just my opinion tho and everyone has a right to their own opinion about how they became who they are.
     
  3. Proud1p4

    Proud1p4 Guest

    I just don't get why people pick this apart and try and find a reason and root for everything. I can see if people want to find the reason their sad or of their stomach ache, but something like sexuality? I like sex. I like sex with the same sex. Sex is good.....ok cool, glad we worked that out.... lets get together tomorrow and solve something big like world hunger.

    Ok, that was more of a joke than a statement but true none the less. On a more serious note, besides my previously stated argument of "who gives a shit", i think while the baby's in the maternal oven a lucky roulette spins around and goes...'wooop! ok this one's going to have brown hair, green eyes and gay. ok pop him out in nine months time and lets try another.' And although i used terminology by far inferior to your Nobel-Prize nominee of a post, but in essence. It something randomly decided at birth, and incorporating the Kindsey scale...the sexuality is 'fluid' from there on out.
     
  4. tired_of_lying411

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    I really agree with Proud. And furthermore, how difficult would life be if we DIDN'T use the labels we do? I can't imagine that ever working, really.

    Just reading things here, at EC, you can see that we have a hard enough time finding out who's into whom as it is...