A couple interesting theories I thought would make nice discussions. The mood of the mother likely affects baby development. If she is often happy & flooded with endorphins, she is more likely to have a happy healthy baby – the opposite is true if she has depression or frequent mood problems. If you have had mood problems all your life, it might be because your mother had mood problems during pregnancy. Lesbians often have mothers who had them later in life. There is a theory that the decreased estrogen in older women can lead to sexual differences in their baby. I believe there are many reasons for homosexuality; this could be one of them. I am a moody homo :badgrin: :rolle: :smilewave -- I've come to the likely conclusion that it is because my mother was older & depressed when she was pregnant with me. It fits for me, but may not fit for others. Most things have organic causes. If there is an organic cause, it can make the issue less stressful. How many can say these theories might fit their situation?
Well I wonder if it was more environment rather than something transferred in-utero. What about the idea that she passed on such issues to you while you were raised? Obviously I am not in your home but I was just curious about this Foxface
My mother was extremily depressed when she was pregnant with me. but she was only 18.im very moody, i have anxiety problems, ocd, delusions, used to be anorexic and a cutter.Maybe some of it is because of my mothers depression but like Foxface said theres the raising thing. i think that was what affected me the most. Theres was a lot bad things going on in my house since i was a kid( i attempted suicide at the age of 10) So i think its a combination of both and in my case the fact that im extremily sensitive is a big part of the whole thing.
Sure, there is nature vs nurture issue (or rather AND is my belief). Although, some people who come from crazy homes turn out pretty fine as humans go. No one is shielded from negative things their whole childhood. I think some of us are just more prone genetically or developmentally to be sensitive to negativity. It affects me physically, which in turn affects my behavior (more on the avoidance side). That was very brave of you to admit all that Jubalinha. I empathize with your internal struggles. Some of us do experience a lot more negative from the world than others – especially if we are ‘different’ and unable to blend in. I wasn’t an outcast among my peers, but rather I was more of an observer that got interrupted a lot with them wondering why I’m not interacting. Adults were who I had the most trouble with – they tended to target the ones who didn’t blend, even though THEY would preach about how kids shouldn’t bully people who seem different. Maybe they thought it was ok for adults to do it. I saw them as giant hypocrites & stopped trusting them when I was very young – single digits. The only time I had problems with kids was when the adults picked on me a lot & the kids joined in – kids never did it when we were on our own. I became a kid-advocate when I was about 8. DayCare workers were the worst. I was shuffled around to several daycares before finding a decent one (it took till I was 10 to find it -- attended them since I was 2). My mother did care about me enough to switch me to a different one if I came home crying too many times & begging her not to make me go back. She’d ask me to tell her what was wrong. Sometimes she’d believe me & sometimes she wouldn’t. I never exaggerated, but I think it was hard for her to believe any adult would treat kids so nasty. For the last switch up, she told me that this was THEE last place & I would just have to make it work – bad adults or not. I was just going to have to learn how to deal with them. Fortunately for me, I found a friend to hang out with at the last one & rarely interacted with the adults there – which, compared to all the other places were pretty good. Teachers were also on the negative side – especially my 3rd grade teacher. Nothing I said was ever right, even if I was. She’d always find some technicality to get me on. I stopped talking to her about halfway through the year. No matter what she said or did, I wouldn’t even look at her; couple that with terrible daycare workers after school & you had yourself one miserable kid. At 8 I decided I’d only address reasonable adults who seemed to have good sense. I’d study them, watching for signs that told me they were on the good side. Most adults don’t see kids as thoughtful (as in ‘full of thought’) human beings – so if it took longer than a few minutes for me to warm up to them they’d label me a ‘difficult child’. They couldn’t know I was trying to size them up & figure out if they were good or bad. It led to many brush-offs I didn’t deserve. Even having said all that, I do believe that my moodiness comes more naturally – either genetically or exposure to negative hormones from my mother (probably both). Had I had a more positive-feeling mother, maybe I wouldn’t have been so sensitive to negative adults – which in turn wouldn’t have caused me to be so stand-offish with new adults – that might have been reacting negatively to me not warming up to them right away. They felt rejected, so justified their mistreatment with misplaced anger. – a terrible cycle.
I disagree with this to a certain extent - not everyone with awful parents ends up exactly like them, they could be the complete opposite. Take me for example: both of my biological parents are drug addicts that cannot hold down a job or make healthy choices, and my adoptive parent is incredibly impatient...but here I am, going to school to be an early childhood educator, leading a drug free lifestyle, and involved with a social activism project in town. I struggle every day with anxiety, depression, and what I suspect to be undiagnosed bipolar disorder. At work, I'm incredibly patient with children while at the same time having firm, realistic expectations of their abilities. You yourself are fighting (and succeeding) on being you instead of the person that your parents want you to. They don't make or role model healthy choices, but that's what you've been doing and I'm sure what you'll continue to do in the future. There's two examples that the apple can, in fact, fall very far away from the tree. I believe that in the right situation, and with the right support, people can overcome negative biological or social circumstances and rise above those to be a great person that genuinely does their best to be successful in all, or most, areas of their lives. My own experiences have proven this to me, and watching how much you've grown this year has reaffirmed my belief that misfortune can be overcome by people with the right outlook and right support, among other things.
I don't know but from what I can tell my mother had postpartum depression and flipped out a lot when I was younger; but from first had experience my parent's were pretty shitty to me though what I can remember of my childhood and the rest of it was pretty dark beyond that. So I can't say that her mood disorders caused any of my issues, but they sure didn't inspire any confidence that I could ever trust or deal with my parents when I needed them. That is, if they were ever there; although I prefer when they weren't around as much, at least it gave me sometime to myself.
Can I just say that there may or may not be merit to the aforementioned theories - I don't know. However, the presence of one single statistic, aka the OP, does nothing to confirm or refute them. Even if there was no statistical correlation, you're still likely to find many moody lesbians who had mothers who were older and had mood problems during pregnancy.
Not looking for scientific merit -- just interesting discussion. I don't get to chat about these things in person -- thought this was the place to do it.
Thanks for saying that. What you said on your thread is something ive always thought about but never talked with anyone. Thanks for bringging up the topic.
In response, although it turned into a big giant rambling mess, sorry. If you like to read the internal musings of someone who rarely talks on a personal level, here is your chance. :icon_wink Introverts may find it more interesting than the extros. ********************* Biology & chemistry are interesting in how it creates diversity without consent or meaning, but humans love to stamp a meaning on everything. Cause – yes; I support thinking backward from a known to find the unknown foundation we were built on. We don’t talk about these things out loud, because it is considered uncomfortable territory. Chats in general have to stay on the superficial; otherwise, it runs the risk of being offensive. I don’t want to offend anyone – just prefer more meat in a discussion. It is similar to being poor – every dollar goes to necessities. I prefer placing the limited social energy I have into things I’m already thinking about. If I have to put social energy into things I don’t think about, or care much about, (pop culture for instance) …, well, even mildly negative experiences & not feeling kinship or connected leads to avoidance in the future. It also leads to the belief that the world around me isn’t interested in the same things I am – there is no reason to interact unless I’m forced to. Couple those mild things with major negative social experiences (violence, verbal abuse, etc) & the phrase ‘not-worth-it’ often comes up in the mind of an extreme introvert when opportunities to make a friend comes along. I see myself withdrawing more & more; sometimes going weeks without talking to anyone, other than the occasional superficial answer of “fine, thanks, you? (insert one sided discussion ). Okay, nice seeing you, bye”. That is why I decided to try forums again. I tried in the past because it was novel & naïvely thought it would be a platform to talk about all the things I was thinking & care about – those not interested would just leave the thread alone & would finally interact with like-minded people. That didn’t happen. Those not interested, the majority, threw their 2 cents in & I didn’t hear much from the like-minded. The negatives from the majority likely kept them away. I figured there were people like me out there – not trying to find IF there are, but am reaching out to them specifically. I had these musings for a while & thought they may help someone like me put their unknown foundation into the light. Digging by yourself is ok for a while, but sometimes we need like-minded people to interact with (even if only in the matrix) who see themselves reflected back – like family. Even if you have a biological family, they don’t always feel that way due to clashing personalities. I’ve felt very orphaned or alienated & I’ve done that to myself, I’ve realized, because I don’t feel akin to anyone. I feel like I’m giving up, but there are other more complex factors involved that make me want to keep trying. I observed my bio-relatives many years, but stopped participating in family things. I’d attend (because I was forced to), but I was mentally checked out. I just sort of sat in existence, or did things people told me to do, but didn’t share my thoughts or feelings – the real kind of family experiences were just not there. I figured it was me – just a lone wolf who doesn’t like family kinds of things. I think my interpretation might have been wrong though. All those personality tests I’ve taken throughout my life said I was extremely introverted. Well, the questions on there represent your feelings based on past interaction -- whether or not you received positive or negative experiences regarding social interaction would determine a yes or no answer. For some, I think people labeled extreme-Intro might be false. Put us in a room with people like us & maybe we would have an easier time socializing. Not at first, because we don’t have a lot of practice at it (due to believing we were loners who just didn’t like interacting much). We act out what we believe – about ourselves and the world. There is a saying that goes something like, “reality is 80% perception”. I don’t know if the percentage is right, but the message is probably true. If I were to have grown up with family, other adults, & friends that were encouraging, compassionate, sympathetic, maybe I wouldn’t be so withdrawn. I likely would still have mood problems – that is a chemical/structural issue totally. I know my moodiness isn’t situational. I’ve done some experimenting & realize I do have the capacity to ‘feel better’ mentally – but the negative cycling can’t be stopped (at least not without more education about the cause of the cycling; no such physical-focus is available).
Not sure how I fit this.. my mom is an extroverted, social butterfly who hits up and is nice to complete strangers that she has never met. She claims to have been very happy to have me and doesnt suffer from depression, and has never had any sort of post-partum depression. My dad pretty much exonerates this as well.. Im not sure where this applies to me xD just that shes the opposite of me because i hate alot of humanity, am an introvert, and cant even hold a conversation with my closest friends without being super awkward and potentially boring. Also, my Mom was 29 when she had me.
Britishskittles -- Something tells me you may be being scatty, since no other information was provided. I know you all are out there. I was seeking to interact– like in a back & forth discussion. Do you have depression? If so, how does it manifest? Is it cyclic, or situational? If you don’t wish to interact & share then it would be kinder to stay silent on the matter. PrinceofAvalon – what brought you to read the thread? As a fellow Homo-Intro or Intro-Homo? … that kinda sounds right given your age, welcome. There are many roads that converge onto the same place. You may have developed your personality in a different way than I did. Many factors can push a person one way or the other. I was seeking to interact with those that got pushed toward this Homo-Intro way of life similar to how I did; what they thought about themselves as the got older; how their view of themselves evolved & theories they had on why they felt & were different. -- seeking to have a mutual exchange of ideas & experiences that inspire expanded views of their (& my) selves.
