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I Wouldn't Want To Be My Friend

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Fugs, May 12, 2013.

  1. Fugs

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    Depression changes you, not the once in a while blues, true depression. It takes your soul and twists it into knots. Chains you to the ground with cinder blocks so you can't run away. As time goes on they continue to get heavier until it's impossible to move forward; impossible to get better.

    At first you tell yourself that you can handle it. Everyone gets depressed, you just have to trudge through it like everyone else. You only devote a little of your energy to keeping it at bay and for a while that's enough. Then it demands more energy and more time to keep under control. It continues to sap your energy until you have none.

    You can't get out of bed anymore. Relationships and friends are strained. You'll draw energy from them whether you know it or not until even they give and are pushed away. The worse it gets the more energy it takes from you and those around you and the more that are pushed away.

    And now I'm alone. I've pushed everyone away, I've run out of energy. So many friends don't talk to me anymore. So many people that I love beyond measure. They've done nothing wrong, it's not selfish to be unable to deal with someone suffering from depression. It's unfair to assume otherwise.

    I let my depression get the best of me and now it's too late. There is no hope or chance of me getting out of this by myself. Just a small hope that through medication and therapy I will slowly crawl out of a hole over ten years deep before it swallows me forever.

    Depression will take your life from you if you let it like I have, don't underestimate it. Get help before it gets to that point. You can't do it by yourself. Reach out before it's too late. Don't be like me.
     
  2. Zel

    Zel
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    I only speak for myself on this, but do believe it is true for most. Take it or leave it, but my motive is to save you some time, frustration, & money.

    Time, education, & more time is the only things that help depression. Even then, there isn’t a cure – only distractions & chemical cycling. Depression isn’t something that can be cured or we would hear from those cured people from roof tops. Think about it for one long minute. You know how bad it feels – if you were cured wouldn’t you tell people about it to save them from that horrible feeling?

    It is an up & down cycle that I just live with. I don’t ever stop looking for ways to help myself, but gave up on outside help long ago -- waste of time & money. It sounds cruel, but that is reality. For things like this it is best to be honest. False hope might help distract you for a while in the beginning of your search for outside help, but you will realize later that you won’t ever truly know if their “help” actually did something positive or if time was the temporary cure. Drugs have proven to be ineffective. The psychologist, or if you don’t have good insurance the social worker, lets you do all the talking & bills you for it. They are glorified baby sitters there to just listen but never give advice. You could talk to a homeless man on the street for nothing & get the same result – maybe better, because you might find he has inspiring insight.

    It is never bad to reach out for help. The problem is, the hand that grabs you doesn't always have your best interests at heart. If you have a lot of supportive family & friends it might be different for you. Just take it from a seasoned mood cycler -- the mental health system is still very primitive. Granted, I only have 3 states worth of their kind of help (10-12 facilities over a 5 yr period) -- but they pretty much all followed the same script. I can't imagine it being much different elsewhere.

    Why Antidepressants Are No Better Than Placebos - Newsweek and The Daily Beast

    JAMA Network | JAMA | Antidepressant Drug Effects and Depression SeverityA Patient-Level Meta-analysis

    Why Antidepressants Dont Work

    PLOS Medicine: Initial Severity and Antidepressant Benefits: A Meta-Analysis of Data Submitted to the Food and Drug Administration
     
    #2 Zel, May 12, 2013
    Last edited: May 12, 2013
  3. Argentwing

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    These things show me that you are not okay with quitting. You still have the capacity to love, and look forward to a brighter future with the support of others. And although you wouldn't want to be your friend because it's too much work, others might want to be your friend because they see that you are a beautiful person who struggles with issues, just like everyone ever born.

    My previous girlfriend had clinical depression. It was hard to manage, but with enough love, I was able to see straight through to her wonderful soul. It didn't work out between us, but that didn't mean I didn't love her to pieces, and I still do. Similarly, you are not unlovable either. Keep at it. <3