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Bisexual bingo

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gravechild, May 21, 2013.

  1. gravechild

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    I'm not sure if this has been posted before, and apologize if it has, but for someone who identifies as bisexual to come across it for the first time, especially after a depressive episode (check my blog if you're curious, deals with biphobia), it really put a smile on my face. Pretty much all the major gripes plus more minor ones have been covered, but feel free to add or subtract a few.

    http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk34/feministing/template.jpg

    So, who wants to play? :lol:
     
  2. Pret Allez

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    Much to my surprise, I don't win.

    However, I have had a really trolly user here on Empty Closets categorically assert that bisexuals monolithically enjoy straight privilege.

    Also, I've said it like n times, but this will be the (n+1)th time: I've never faced as much prejudice and hostility about my orientation as from the gay community itself. Straight people in my experience have more consistently nice...
     
  3. castle walls

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    Same here. The only prejudice or hostility I've faced for my sexuality has come from gays and lesbians
     
  4. freedom200

    freedom200 Guest

    yeah, i checked off all of these :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. LailaForbidden

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  6. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    Here's mine: (Almost had "diagonal bingo")

    A1
    A2
    A5
    B4
    B5
    C2
    C3
    C4
    E1

    I've found a lot of prejudice and hate-speech in gay women especially once they found out I'm into men AND women. The general comment: "I'm sorry, but there's no way I'll stick my tongue in a place where a penis has been" And let's not forget the general comment from heterosexual men: "Are you sharing?" (Bi apparently means, "I want to have countless threesomes with you and another woman to fulfill your fantasy")

    I suppose I could then tick off A3 too :eusa_doh: - Still no bingo though :lol:
     
  7. That1Guy

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    People are stupid
     
  8. Eatthechildren

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  9. gravechild

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    Where is the 'thank' button when you need it??? :dry:

    *gives site admins the evil eye*
     
  10. Hun

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    Diagonal from left to right, top to bottom. I win!
     
  11. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    Crazy Things Bisexuals Say to Gays:

    1. "You should be open-minded and experiment with the opposite sex. How do you know you don't like it?"

    2. "We [bi's] love the person not the gender or what's in their pants." Implying gays only care about the sexual organs.

    3. Constantly talking about the opposite sex when you're hooking up. Constantly bringing up the fact they are "bi," implying that you [the gay person] are only good enough for a hookup, not a relationship.

    4. "Very few people are gay or straight. Most have bi tendencies." Basically erasing the gay or straight identities.

    The 3rd one is the most common one I have personally encountered. #'s 1,2,4 are more often found online than in person. Although, I'll say that #4 I have heard on numerous occasions in person. Now, I'll agree that biphobia definitely exists and many of those things said on the bingo board are rather common. But act like you're 100% the victims here. There are many insulting things bi's have said to gays. Number 3 I have heard way too often. Call that "trolly" all you want.
     
  12. gibson234

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    I think the moral of the story here is that you can be an arsehole and have any sexually orientation.
     
  13. FruitFly

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    Aye.

    And as such if anyone encounters such an arsehole, they should come onto a support forum and express their frustration through the use of a delightful little game as it does wonders for easing those moods which just build up and up after the umpteenth time someone has informed you that your sexuality is basically a joke. Hurrah for releasing pent up frustrations.
     
  14. Pret Allez

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    I'm having great difficulty understanding why it is that when we're making a criticism, we have to acknowledge that not everyone in our own group is perfect. I have said (1) to straight people (never gay or lesbians), and (2) to pretty much everybody. I have come to understand why that's problematic, and I don't do it anymore.
     
  15. caughtbywitness

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    Make love not war horcruxes.
     
  16. Spatula

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    I think this whole thing can be summed up in this incredibly infuriating thread right here:

    Bisexuality isn't real.

    I will warn you, there are a lot of gay folks talking trash on the site I linked. A lot. If it sounds like we're ever bitter, or infuriated, or harbor some sort of grudge over here on empty closets and it seems like we're being totally unreasonable and playing the victim game... look I'm not going to defend that at all but this sort of bullshit is the reason why.

    Where are all the bisexual men?

    Also, the comments section for this one is a mind fuck.

    and this
    and this

    The sentiments on that bingo chart are not coming from a vaccuum. They are pretty common phrases that we've all heard dozens of times in the process of coming out. That said, in my experience most gay people I've met have been very cool and not like that at all. I know a few gay guys who have been very outspoken on behalf of the bisexuals they've known.

    I think it just comes down to gibson said. There are a lot of assholes. Coming from a background of being a stigmatized minority is not going to make someone automatically not an asshole, and you can find a fare share of them in any demographic. The problem we have right now is that the assholes (towards us) in the gay community have a nasty tendency to be its most prominent and outspoken members.
     
    #16 Spatula, May 22, 2013
    Last edited: May 22, 2013
  17. gravechild

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    Yeah, I didn't create this thread to whine, point fingers, or stir trouble, but instead for bisexual members to share their experiences with biphobia with each other, increase awareness, and sure, to vent a bit in a not-too-serious way, since there's not much discussion of these issues on the site. EC is a community for all queer people, and just because bisexuals might be in the minority doesn't mean our problems matter less than those of gay men, or should be dismissed by others.

    @cm, you going on the defensive and attacking bisexuals on a thread discussing biphobia in the LGBT community is no different than a white person attacking a black person for speaking out against racism, or a man attacking a woman for bringing up sexism. Sadly, there are hierarchies in progressive activist groups, and your post only makes an example of the issues being brought up by many bisexual members.

    I'm more than willing to discuss issues gay men and lesbians face from bisexuals, just not here, in this thread. If you're not going to contribute, please leave, since this thread has already gone off topic before page two, and it shows promise.

    @Spatula, I found one of the comments on your third link downright disgusting, at least more so compared to the others:

    Whether or not this person was trolling doesn't change the fact that their language is riddled with sexism, speaking the same language many straight guys do when they say, 'Oh, lesbian? All you need is a good dicking to change your mind!' It reeks of entitlement and privilege, honestly, how some men think of themselves as the 'cure' to a person's sexual 'problems'.

    I guess it's the paternalistic attitude some gay men take with bisexuals that annoys me, ie 'Ah... bisexuality, I remember my phase.. you'll grow out of it soon,' followed by an implied shoulder slap.

    It also feels like we're on our own, with little support from gay men and women, and even less from the heterosexual population, and I wouldn't call ourselves a 'community'.

    We definitely need more representation.
     
  18. Pret Allez

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    I have a little bit of a different take on it. I think what fuels the hostility from many gay folks is oppression Olympics. Because they have no opposite sex attraction, they always win the Olympics, and we always lose. In this discourse, we are accused of not only enjoying heterosexual privilege, but actively using it to our advantage. I hate to say it, but this is mostly a lesbian discourse, because the theoretical concept of privilege comes from critical discourses like anti-racism and feminism. (And very unfortunately, more men are not feminist, but I digress.) Now, this is not to say that all lesbians, or even a majority of lesbians think multisexuals enjoy heterosexual privilege. But I think it is true to say that the concept of privilege is more brought up by lesbians than by gay man. (There are also historical reasons for this, like extremely toxic forms of radical feminism, especially trans*-exclusive radical feminism, or TERF.)

    My point here is not to try and reverse the oppression Olympics by saying multisexuals actually have it worse. Rather, my intention is to point out that oppression Olympics is so bad precisely because it creates so much anger on the part of those who feel they really do have it worse that they tend to lash out against those who they perceive to have it better.

    The result of this is a weakening of political ties between multisexuals, gays and lesbians who need to be fighting together, because the root of all this oppression is sexism. We need to be looking for commonly shared experiences. Many of us have attempted suicide because of our same-sex attractions. Many of us have been abused. Many of us have been abandoned by parents. Many of us have been raped. Many of us have been fired. Many of us have been beaten up or ostracized at school.

    There are some things multisexual folks have to do to win the trust of our homosexual brothers and sisters. We need to be more out. We need to take a stand on issues that matter to them, whether we're single or seeing someone of the opposite sex. The key is understanding that we have no escape from issues that affect gay and lesbian folks, because even if they don't immediately affect us, they do indirectly.

    For example, the gay and lesbians who don't want to date us feel the way they do partly because they don't feel like we're on their side, because we can always run away. (Note that some of us actually can't. My voice gives my orientation away, and there's nothing I can do about it.)

    In return for a renewed political commitment to queer issues on the part of the multisexual community, gay and lesbian folks, hopefully, will stop behaving in the ways mentioned.

    I ask that we return to the topic of discussion, and if you have any questions about this which will tend to derail the discussion, please instead write on my wall or send me private message to yell, scream, or have polite discourse about what I am asserting.
     
  19. Spatula

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    I feel like there's even more to be said on the topic that Pret discusses. There is a nasty tendency within normally progressive circles for people to start using privilege as a form of currency for their arguments. Which is to say, if you have a disagreement with someone, and they are perceived to have more privileges in society than you do, then it is very tempting to say that they are clearly wrong because they are blinded by their good fortune. How could they ever understand what really needs to be done--with all that privilege that they have?

    It isn't merely oppression olympics, it is a lazy attempt to sidestep intellectual discourse. It is also a very dangerous attempt to establish a new heirarchy: from most to least oppressed. Those at the top can be the true freedom fighters, the vanguard of the movement, and while help from the little privileged people below them is appreciated, it is merely icing on the cake.
     
  20. LailaForbidden

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    ^^ I agree with both of you.
    The thing i've never understood is the concept of "straight privilege". Okay, yes, we can date the opposite sex and get married. I understand that. But what about the shit we also get when we date the opposite sex? Is being called traitors part of the privilege? Is being ostracized from queer events privilege? Or gays/lesbians saying we are not queer enough and therefore do not belong? All this goes along with dating the opposite sex. Maybe i'm just ungrateful - because I know we do have some advantages - but a lot of it is the same old crap.