Anyways after that guy called me heavier than I am I've not been hungry I eat tops 3 things a day! I'm scared becuase this is how my ED starts again! And today I saw an old old friend from my catholic school and she said how I looked so good and hot now that I'm skinnier an it's a confedint booster when people say that and it almost makes me..... it DOES make me want to lose more :/ I can't help this I know it's and issue but I'm scared an nervous to seek help becuase they will make me eat a lot and that will make me gain weight and than I will feel ugly becuase I've gained it sucks I hate this feeling! I hate gong to stores and the mannequins are my size yet people tell me it not healthy! THAN why are models MY SIZE! My bones are thicker and being thin my bones show every where chest arms back etc and I don't necessarily think it's gross but others shiver at it! And I don't see why! I DON'T think I'm skinny! When I look at myself I go "I could loose note weight" or "I'm so ugly I need to get this done" I don't feel confedint in my self I always feel I can improve! I want to be perfect! I KNOW it's becuase I don't have a man in my life and I know people will say it makes no difference having someone but to me it does! I don't have any guys got on me I hate it I went from having guys like me in high school to having NONE and it SUCKS! I feel so ugly all the time it kills me! People say I'm so cute and hot and sexy but I don't SEE IT someone told me I should try modeling for her company and I was like "me?" I was thinking you want ugly people modeling?! I know I'm not ugly but at the same time I feel like I am and that feeling over takes any confidence! I know asking for help here seems pointless but hearing people talk to me makes me feel good.
Look, Alexander, you need to give up this idea of looking good, and see a doctor. Even if you look amazing, you won't ever enjoy it while your mind is in this state. Seeing a professional is the best thing you can do. Being super-thin is not worth the mental torment of anorexia or any other eating disorder. I know the mindset, and you need to try to look at things from an outside perspective. I know it's hard, but recovery is what you need to focus on, not weight and your idea of attractiveness; you will lose any enjoyment of life if you don't recover. And speaking like this only fuels your incentive, so you should stop trying to get encouragement that you are already thin.
I had an eating disorder for a while, it was awful because I was absolutely terrified of food and anytime I ate something, I would be so angry at myself. I got completely over it a little more than a year ago and it is so much better. I'm not 78 lbs anymore but now I realize that I really don't want to be, I'd prefer to be healthy. And you don't have to gain fat to gain weight! Trying to be more muscular is what helped me get away from the disorder because I really needed to gain weight but was still so terrified of fat. Life is so much easier and you are 10X less stressed when you aren't always thinking of your weight! Good luck with everything
I hate worrying alllll theeee timmmeee it sucks it does I just want to be happy with me who I am and I'm not
Hey- I feel more beautiful as a big gay & out 45 year old woman at 5'7 179lbs than I did when I was a 133lb college student.( hated myself back then) It really is about the inside stuff. Go to therapy. Ignore the idiots. Eat. High protein low carb bars make me feel better. I was feeling super low yesterday and a friend made me see its time to get over the pity party of 1. Hugs Rose
I'm trying to lose a little weight (currently 133 pounds) and tone up quite a bit. I hate my body, but then again no one ever says I'm cute or ugly - It's rare that people talk to me to be honest. I think perhaps you should either see a doctor or a counselor, and then sort your mind out a little. I know I'd feel a million times better about myself If I had a young man to share my life with, it would be an affirmation that 'someone' in this whole world we share together thinks that I'm good enough to want to be with, but that has never ever happened. Look on the bright side of life; you have friends, and somewhere comfortable to sleep at night. Keep your chin up. :icon_wink
Self esteem should come from you! I know a couple-The husband is tall & skinny & wife is 300+lb -I want someone to look at me the way he looks at her. Like she is his world. They are affectionate in public and have been together over a decade. She is very confident. My best friend is very short & stocky & she has never had trouble getting guys. Ever. She is feminine & confident & loves herself and she radiates that. Its like a magnet for guys. Shes married now but old boyfriends still flirt with her...
hey i think change your mindset and go see a doctor! I just want to tell you if you wanna be happy, Learn to love yourself first, and then good things will come to you
I know but I don't love myself! I'm a mean horrible person! I don't feel good enough. I can love and when I do it's powerful but not on my self! I just don't
Trust me you don't want to become (too) skinny. Because of my IBS* I find it a lot more difficult to eat food than when I first started struggling. I always feel full after the first few bites or mouthfuls, and it obviously has negative outcomes - weight loss being the most obvious and probably the most important. We did class presentations today, as it was the last day at school and my friends noticed that I had actually lost weight from my first year there compared to my fifth year, and I noticed it too. I hate being as skinny as I am, because I feel week and useless, and I want to find a guy who likes me because of who I am and not what I am or what I look like. I want it to be the qualities that I have that make me cute, not because I actually look cute. I feel it's harder to do this because I'm so skinny. I know that I've been skinny since birth because of problems that my mother had while she was pregnant, so I was born 3 months prematurely (so have always been naturally underweight). However, what I seem to eat has little or no affect, I don't seem to be able to put on weight. I hope that changes in the near future, but you chubbier guys should be grateful that you're not in my position (funny because a few fat friends/ family members said they wish they could be as skinny as me). * - Self diagnosed from symptoms, though I should probably go see a doctor soon about it, could be something worse, or not bad at all.
Seek help. You're on track, if not already there, to developing an eating disorder. Don't worry that they will make you eat too much. They'll make you eat the right about. You said it yourself, people say that you're cute and you can't see it. Someone said that you look a couple of kilograms heavier than you are, and you stop eating. You can't see yourself properly, and you need to trust someone else's judgement. Getting help will help you to love yourself, as well as others, and you need that if you want a fulfilling life or a healthy relationship with someone.
Alexander, the single most important and most valuable thing you can do for yourself is to find a therapist like *now.* Not a psychiatrist; either a psychologist or a clinical social worker. Nearly all of your problems revolve around perceptions that are out of sync with reality; perceptions about the world, people and money; perceptions about your own body, perceptions about beauty and physical appeal. You need a good therapist who will help you really work through and completely throw away all of the bullshit you've been fed for the past 18 years, mostly by your mom, but by others around you as well. If your parents give a crap about you, instead of buying you $100,000 cars, they can spend $2000 a month on your seeing a therapist twice a week for a year or two. That is the *only* way you're going to be able to deal with all of the eating disorder, self-esteem, shame, and various other issues you're facing. It's not something you can do well by yourself. You've made a lot of progress, but you keep coming back to the same issues over and over. If you start with a really good therapist (NOT one your mom picks out or has anything to do with) then you'll see some real progress a lot faster than trying to do it by yourself.
My parents would be so ashamed and embarrass if I needed help like that. I had he'll before with my Ed when I was younger only becuase my doctor said it wast a choice
Well thats your parents problem isn't it. They'd be putting their own pathetic prejudices over your health. It doesn't matter what you tell them you're going for, it could be bad dreams for all they care.
I agree with Chip and Hexagon. Find your own therapist, a good one. And don't let your parents bring you down. It seems like they don't understand you much.
I sat here for three minutes, seriously confused, until i realized you meant Eating disorder, not erectile dysfunction Alright. Calm down. Let's not blame this on mannequins. You are comfortable with your weight, correct? And you feel that you're healthy? Then why are you letting fucktards make you feel otherwise? You shouldn't let your low self esteem eat you up.
