Why do some straight people have extreme reactions to being hit on by a gay person or being told by a gay person that they like them. I've reactions like, "I'd send that fag to the hospital" or "I'd punch him in the face" or "I'd kick him in the balls!" I've read horror stories from gays who told their straight crush how they felt about them. I understand it's uncomfortable for them but why result to violence? Unless they sexually harass you, touch you inappropriately or say something really out of line like "I wanna f*** you", why attack them or avoid them? I'm gay but I wouldn't care if someone of the opposite sex hits on me. I've seen a lot incidents where trans* people are killed because their partner found out they were trans*. I could understand the shock, but why the violence? Can someone elaborate on this? :confused2:
You know what, I have no idea. It's ridiculous to me that people do things like that. I guess humanity generally fears what it doesn't understand or has been raised to believe is wrong, but still, what the hell? I even asked my husband what he would say/do if a gay man hit on him, and he said, "Thank you, but I'm not gay". Why doesn't everyone do that?! I honestly don't know anyone gay or bi or trans* that is so blunt and aggressive about their feelings for someone that they'd go out of their way to make someone they like uncomfortable. However, I know plenty of straight people who go out of their way to make sure the person they want to go on a date/sleep with knows exactly what they want. And sure, guys get slapped, girls get pushed, restraining orders get filed, but usually, no one gets killed over that. I know there's generally a social stigma revolving around the LGBTQ community, but this isn't the Salem witch trials. No one needs to die over this. Everyone needs to mind their own business and let prejudice lead to violence.
I know how to pick 'em. lol! But, seriously, the world has got to become more tolerant if not completely accepting. Everything is bound to change. Nothing stays the same forever. I'm just hoping the same applies to people's attitudes towards the LGBTQ community. Thankfully, some things have changed, like that women can work a lot of the same jobs men can, men can be homemakers, people of every race have equal opportunity in the workplace (a lot of the time anyway), but we're still a long way from total equality unfortunately.
My guess would be sexism. This happens more with men, yes? There is a lingering perception that male homosexuality is feminine, and that being perceived as feminine is the ultimate loss of manhood. As far as this logic goes, being hit on by a gay person makes you gay unless you react aggressively (the 'manly' reaction). A lot of homophobia comes down to misogyny.
I told my straight crush I liked him, two different guys actually. Both were cool about. The main one, said he was sorry he was straight. Lmao. Needless to say, I came under no harm.
The reaction to being hit on by a gay man that causes fear in some is that people see them as gay. I don't know if this is the same for women.
I suspect that this is a major part of it. Also, based on some past experience, I have a theory that straight gender interactions have not only an element of misogyny but also an element of potential force at some level. Or to put it more crudely, strip away all the civilized veneer and straight men 'know' (or at least think) that if they really wanted to they could *force* a woman to have sex with them simply on the basis of brute strength. And if a man hits on them, it suddenly puts that shoe on the other foot and they really don't like that. I had a housemate in college that I came out to who later said that he went through a period right after I came out to him where he was afraid that I would (in his words) rape him. This because I was significantly bigger and stronger than him and he found this disturbing since before meeting me all the gay guys he'd met (that he knew were gay anyway) were more in the stereotype and smaller and weaker than him. He got over it pretty fast and I did what I could to speed that along. At various times I've seen complaints about how TV/Film continues to depict gay people as either a stereotype or a non-entity who has no life outside of whatever role they are filling in the show. I suspect at least part of this is because a show that depicted a gay character who was (for example) a 2m + Marine with bulging muscles and fighting skill sufficient to beat the crap out of most guys and who's idea of a fun weekend involved rebuilding the engine on his truck and yelling at football games (American or everywhere else version) would cause most of the male viewers to have a stroke. Or worse (from the production's perspective) change the channel or walk out of the theater. Triple that issue if the character has a partner who is similarly 'masculine' but who he is tender toward. That said, there are occasional cracks in this wall, such as one of the characters in the show Caprica who (IIRC) is both an underworld enforcer and gay (and there are scenes of him in bed with his partner/spouse, I believe). Anyway. Todd
Yeah, I agree with Hexagon and AKTodd with the misogyny thing. Straight men who react like this also tend to hate women, and are terrified of their masculinity being degraded. My cousin has beaten up gay men for asking him out, and his hatred of women and fear of being effeminised shows; he won't listen to women singers, thinks women in the workplace should be a last resort if no men are available, and that gay men should be shot.
I tend to get myself in trouble on nights out for eyeing up straight guys, i dont even have to say anything! Happened the other night and my straight best mate said i provoked it? :s I do understand the loss of masculinity, when i was in denial i used to find it very awkward if not embarrassing for gay guys to fancy me Id never get in a fight over it though! Its a compliment tbh.
