Hello. I'm in a bit of trouble. I've known my best friend for 2 years and we are really close. He knows that I am gay and he is ok with it. What he doesn't know is that I like him more than just a friend. I have felt this way for a while. I sometimes flirt with him subtly. I hug him a lot, which he doesn't mind (I've asked him if he minds) and I generally get closer to him than I do with my other friends. I even slept at his house once and we cuddled closely while we watched movies. He even cuddled me back. I don't know if he is straight or gay or bi but I really like him. Can I have some advice please?
If he were gay, chances are he would have came out to you already knowing that you're gay and wouldn't have a problem with it. It's really common to have crushes or fall for friends that seem like they're one of a kind. A lot of us have done it, but in almost all cases it's best not to because although they may be flattered at first, it can make things awkward between you. Worst case scenario - you may lose your best friend. If you know for a fact that he wouldn't mind that you liked him then you could try, but remember, chances are it will go nowhere. I told one of closest friends that I would love to be with him, but he jokingly said "if I were gay". It may not seem like it, but often the outcome isn't good and the negative consequences far outweigh the positive ones (unless of course he is gay).
Well I don't want to give you any false information but I think he may be gay but he is in the closet about it, of course he may just be trying to be a really good friend. I had one experience where I was really good friends with a girl and After a while I asked her if she liked me. She told me that she had to think for a while, I was terrified but then she told me that she did but she just didn't know how to say it. Sometimes people are very shy and don't know how to come to terms with who they are so they hide it for as long as they can. If he really does like you then he will show various signs. 1. He might try to hold your hand (or his hand will brush yours and linger for a while) 2. He will always want to be around you and will talk about you often 3. He will cuddle you and will treat you as if you were together Be sure to approach him subtly so that if he still says no then you two can be friends Good luck and I hope this helped
Are you attracted to him because you like him sexually OR do you like the comfort that he gives you as a friend. I have my straight guy friends whom I have feelings for...but those feelings are just me wanting their friendship. I love them deeply as my brothers. Nothing more.
Wow, that is a risky situation ... 1) He coud be bi-curious and shy about it. 2) He could be gay and afraid to come out. 3) He could be straight and just enjoying the closeness. You may loose his friendship, you may have a potential friend with benefit in the making or it could be a nice long relationship waiting to happen. Whatever the reality is, the real question is are you willing to risk your friendship with him ... Are you willing to make the move and see where it leads. I think it's time for you to take the lead and talk about it with him. The worse that can happen is that you make him run away but considering how he behaves around you .. I feel that the odds rare looking to be on the positive side. good luck.
This is kind of dangerous ground here, so you're going to want to tread carefully. I personally am a fan of asking. That doesn't mean putting your hand on your belt buckle and saying "So, you wanna?" But you can nudge the conversation in that direction. You might approach him simply from the sexuality angle. "You know, it's weird, but even though we're best friends, I still don't know if you're gay or bi." If he answers gay, bi, curious, or even "I don't know", you can simply give him a quick smile and say "Well, if you ever want to explore that curiosity, let me know." If he answers "straight", though, I'd take that at face value. Or perhaps approach him cautiously about your feelings. You can say something like this. "I'm spending more time with you, and I've noticed I've started getting some feelings for you that I'm not sure are returned. Is this something I should try to nip in the bud?" If he says you're just friends, you can simply smile and say "Yeah, that's what I thought. But thanks for being such a cool friend." Other people are more of the "don't talk - act" variety. In which case, you can simply try extending the hugs. Or moving your hands more when you hug. Or making a move while cuddling. The danger here is that you may nudge him beyond a place where he's comfortable, and that can make things more awkward than if you had just simply talked to him. Or, to sum it up, it's more likely to result in damaging the friendship, but it's also more likely to get you laid. Lex
