Starting Over, wanting to move away.

Oh yes, I feel this way. Being trans, I find myself trapped in a transphobic family who do nothing but remind me of a past I want to leave behind. I can't leave home until I have top surgery, which will be in about 4 months time. So I feel like I'm just waiting for my life to begin.

I don't know whether the feeling will go away or not. It hasn't yet.

 

I don't see what is selfish about wanting to live your own life.

I will probably do the same. Keep in touch with close friends, but move away from everything that reminds me of my past, and especially my parents. Start fresh, like a whole new life, but this time with someone to share it with. I couldn't picture anything better.

 

I'm moving across the state this fall to go to school, and I do want to start my life all over again. A lot of my family won't see or hear from me again

 

I think everybody should try to live in a different country in an early part of their adulthood. I'll soon be returning home from Spain and I have to say the year I've spent living here has completely changed my life, and as cheesy as it sounds, I've sort of 'found myself'. Getting away from everything gives you a chance to really step back and think about your life and the people in it and learn who you really are and what you really want. I only found the courage to come out a few months after I'd moved here, and I genuinely think I'd still be closeted if I'd stayed at home. It's not without it's difficulties, but I can't strees enough how valuable an experience it can be.

 

Every.single.day.

 

I used to feel this way a couple of years ago (6-7). I wanted to just cut contact with everybody and move far away. I think in my case it was mostly as an attempt to "run away" from everything. I was at the peak of my confusion at that time, and I figured if I were to move away I'd be able to just disconnect from everything and start over from scratch.

Would it have been a good idea or not, I don't know. It ended up being impossible for me to try and move, and then I had surgery, so I lost a few years. Nowadays, I don't know if I still feel this way. Since I've lost contact with pretty much everybody, I don't really feel like I have to "run" anymore. I'm going back to school and all that, plus hoping to meet someone, so moving to a different country (or province) has sort of become impossible at the moment. Maybe if I were given the chance to live abroad I'd consider the option, but who knows.

 

I feel the exact same.

I love my family, but their problems added with mine make for an unhealthy environment to live, and like you I suffer from being affected by the weather in Canada. Though it is gorgeous here in fall, summer and spring, and the winter can be sunny I just cannot stand not being able to hang outside for several months of the year.

The US has always been on my mind but I fucked up any chance of getting a decent education and high enough skills to land a job there. Plus I don't know if I would get a long with the culture there, plus I am gay and living in the south(I'd rather live in Canada than the Northern U.S) is a no go.

Sometimes I also feel living alone would just help me get my head straight, but that is expensive so I am bound with my parents for now.

You're not alone though, I was voted most likely to live in the tropics in 10 years at my highschool because everyone knew how much I loved being outside in the sun, and how much I appreciated good weather. I went to school with a lot of people from Guyana and Trinidad which is most likely why that most likely was put in the Year Book.

As I grew older and realized me being gay would be an issue in the U.S that dream died. I also don't really care to leave North America so Australia, Southern Europe, and New Zealand are not that desirable. The interior of the rockies in Southern B.C is most likely where I'll end up if I ever end up doing anything with my life.

 

I'd say go for it

Going away to a college where nobody knows me and being able to have a fresh start was probably the best decision I've made. Homesickness does suck sometimes but it's ok, just don't let it keep you from enjoying yourself.

 

I went traveling to find myself I constantly changed school and now I am university so I have had quiet a few chances to reinvent myself , its nice to be openly gay at university and those that don't accept it don't become friends with me in the first place, however I don't like that being a lesbian is the first thing people know about me after my name to my home friends I am just me and I happened to like girls, which I much prefer because when I am out straight away I worry that straight girls think I am hitting on them when I am just trying to be friends and people assume I will have stereotypical interests and they know all about me because I am gay so this really frustrated me.

 

I want to now more than ever, if you have seen my newest thread. I want to move 100,000 miles away to start over.

 

I am thinking of moving soon myself, I just came out, and I feel I need to re-locate and start fresh. I left Ohio to deal with this, moved to Montana, and seem to have delt with it, the move away bug has bitten me bad/good.

Berlin is my favorite world city... If I was younger like most of you, I would look into Berlin. Berlin is a very accepting city, full of life, and great food!

Take a chance, spread your wings, and fly. Go places, be who you are.

my 2 cents.

Lakota

 

When I left home, I moved thousands of miles away from Alaska to Arizona for college, primarily because I really hate snow, but also to get the hell away from my home town and yes, my family.

Since then I've moved to the East coast, although that had nothing to do with getting further from my family.

I love my family. I am also a firm believer in what I call the Two-hour Rule: All members of the family should live at least two hours plane ride from all other members of the family.

It keeps everyone out of each others business and makes for much nicer family relations in my experience.

When I moved to Arizona, I didn't go intending to reinvent myself, but that ended up happening anyway. I made real friends who didn't care that I didn't like the exact same things they did. I got into working out. I discovered sex with men

When I moved to Virginia, I was much more thinking in terms of hitting the giant Reset button my life. Got a new job, met my partner, got into a field of work I hadn't known existed but that I really like and that pays pretty well. Generally well-regarded by colleagues and friends alike

The one thing to bear in mind when contemplating a move (and/or hitting the reset button on your life) is that sooner or later you may want to go back home to visit. Nothing wrong with that (and can even be fun, although you may find it seems a lot smaller than when you left). But as part of building your new life, be sure to look for experiences that help you build up your confidence and sense of self. So that when it comes time to go back home, you can hold your head up high. be who you are, and feel neither fear nor worry about dealing with your old friends and relations when you get there.

Todd

 

I think that's a perfectly natural feeling and I can totally relate! I just got out of a horrible marriage and I can't wait to move somewhere new and just start over. I want to go somewhere that nobody knows me and I can just finally be myself without worry. Ya know? It's just me and my little girl right now and I want to raise her to be whoever she wants to be. But in order to do that, I need to start being who I want to be. (I think that made sense. lol)

You should move to America!!!

 

I plan to leave one day, to another state at the very least. If anyone in my family accepts me after I come out (which will be after I leave) then maybe I will come back and visit them, but I'm not counting on it.

 

I'd plan to do that if I knew what the hell I'd do after getting wherever I'd go.

 

You aren't alone in feeling that way. I've been feeling that way for a very long time. I used to live in Mississippi for 15 years and then I moved here to Illinois and I've been here for about 8 years and I'm so ready to move on to another state now. Start over where nobody knows me.

 

I feel the same way towards my family...I love them, and I think I'd miss them at times, however I think it would actually be easier for me to just move away as soon as possible. I think it'll actually be easier for me and my family in the long run.