I hate my dad.

That is abuse. Is there anyone you could call to get out of there?

 

Report him to the cops. What he did both to your sister, her son and you is serious abuse. I don't know what else to suggest, other than *hugs, that sounds terrible*.

 

Does your sister feel the same way? If she's on your side, you can work together. Something needs to be done.

 

You're sixteen. That makes it child abuse. They won't ignore you, particularly if you get the rest of your family to back you up.

 

This is domestic violence and abuse. You need to stand up and call for help. Nobody can help you if you don't ask for it, and I really want to help you. Although I can't, other people can. Don't watch it happen, something that you regret might happen.

Everything is going to turn out better, just don't hesitate to call the police or ask for advice (*hug*) Go to a friend's house for a while if you think you're not safe.

 

Jeez, call the cops? Sounds like my dad, except mine's a little less violent.

 

How do you expect to be able to talk to him when you recognize that he always tries to take control in conversation, and, like you said, flies of the handle? Calling someone is a good idea, even in the case of potential abuse, but in your case, it's past potential, and is already abuse.

 

My suggestion is to go here hotlines | Tumblr and contact someone from the LGBT community in the UK. It does not sound as if your father is approachable. It may be best to leave, and seek assistance in the LGBT hotline / experts community. The longer you stay you cannot assist your mother and sister until you get out. The longer you stay the chance for increased violence is there. The longer you stay the higher the chances you could become emotionally traumatized in your relationships with men. For the sake of your future spouse get out of this situation. Do not come out to your father until you have a strong support network, and are out of this situation. These are just my suggestions, only you know the reality of your family. Call a hotline away from the house where you can freely speak your truth.
Resources:
Resources for Those Who Are  Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Unsure
In the UK, the main service is the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard, tel: 020 7837 7324

 

He sounds a lot like my dad. Which means trying to talk to him is probably pointless.

I know how hard it is to call the cops when things like that happen. It's not just your abuser, the whole family is against it. Everyone it too proud or ashamed to admit how bad it really is. So when you try to get help EVERYONE gets mad at you.

So seeking help seems imposible. Or worse, you do seek help and not enough happens and you just get treated and beaten that much worse.

That said, DO call the police the next time something like this happens. They aren't going to ignore you if there's screaming and violence in the background. You can even hide and anonymously and claim to be a concerned neighbor. If you do that everytime he starts screaming your house will start to build a record of domestic disputes which will help if you decide you really need to get out of get him out of the house.


The sister that's moved out, would she let you come and stay with her? Can she at least talk to you about this and help you figure out a plan?

Good luck and keep your head down. (*hug*)

 

I can relate somehow,since my father is always angry and noone can talk to him or approach him.He had a fight with my mom last month and he broke her arm,of course he said he didnt do it on purpose,and my mom agreed because she was afraid.I fight with him many times a day,at the end i go to my room and lock..because he starts throwing things everywhere,and he always attempt to hit me whenever i dont ''Behave''.I will never respect him and thats what hurts him the most.His parents kicked him when he was 15 because he was a bad student so he had to find a job and live alone without his family.I agree with my that say that because some parents treat their children shitty,they act the same towards their children because they used to have a bad father role.The only thing i can say is to be patient,if you have a plan to get away,then start doing it,if youre independent one day you will finally leave from his territory (*hug*)

 

Rexmond, once a person has already resorted to violence to keep control over another human, there is no reasoning with him. I don't want to be offending, but I really think that the fact that you are "used to it" is clouding your judgment about how bad the situation really is. If you go to the police and tell them what's up, there is no way in hell that they won't take you seriously. In fact, they are legally obligated to look into the matter and interview the people in question. It's not like in the movies where the police is just useless. They actually do things IRL. Go to them. You won't regret it.

 

I can understand your situation. My Dad isn't someone who listens to anything, and I cannot talk to him about anything, especially anything LGBT due to his, and my Mums, religious ideals.

Having said that, he isn't violent. From reading your post I really do think you'd ideally love to sit down and talk to your Dad, and sort things out (without the need for Police presence). But, if that's really never going to happen, then I feel that you need to call someone before something more serious happens. Perhaps he can go through anger management, learn to see things from other peoples perspectives.

I'd love to help, but it's a difficult situation. (&&&)

 

My dad is similar too, but not with the physical violence aspect. He was treated really bad by his Dad, and his Mum caused a lot of pain for him too. It is never an excuse for a parent to treat their kinds horribly, because of the fact that they have been damaged, by their parents. But, it does provide some answers behind their actions, and behaviour etc. To cope with your situation that you are in; my best suggestion, would be to see a counsellor/psychologist/therapist; and let everything out to them. That is what helped me!

 

I'd say it would, at the very least, begin the ball rolling in the right direction.
You only get one Dad, I understand that 100%, but, he only gets one chance at being a good Dad, and if he isn't by a long shot, then things can be done to help get things on track.