I just graduated high school, and at our graduation party I ended up having a very drunken hookup. We slept at the house of the party, and the next morning I felt sort of awkward so I snuck out without talking to him. I'll probably never see him again if I don't contact him, but I'm really just not sure where that leaves us. We never really talked before the party. Should I just forget about him? I'm never done this before...
You were drunk, and certainly that person was too. Do you regret anything, or think you should do anything about it?
I regret being so drunk that the hookup wasn't as good as it could have been sober, but I don't think either of us regretted the hookup. So it's normal to hookup with someone and never speak again afterwards?
If you want to keep in contact with him and would maybe like a second chance with the hookup, then by all means go for it and try have a better time being sober. Explain to him you were a bit confused and wasn't entirely sure what to do if you so choice to go with that option. It could be that he isn't interested and trying to contact him could be pointless, but you say that neither of you regretted it. It's entirely up to you.
One concern is the question of STDs. I hope you didn't do anything unsafe, but if you did (which could easily happen drunk), you might think about STDs and how to address the issue. As for further contact, sometimes I gather it never happens again. Then, again, a lot depends on you and your hookup. Who knows? You might have things in common. And if you have sex again, it could be more enjoyable, since you could be more sober.
What BMC said. After a hookup, it's usually advised to get tested for STIs. When you sleep with someone, you're probably also sleeping with their other partners as well. (It's a figure of speech. Means get tested, unless you know for SURE that he was STI-free.)
Get tested, and make sure HE gets tested too. I certainly wouldn't want to be blamed for such things that could ensue...
I think there are two important issues here. One is what you are feeling and what you want to do about those feelings and the situation. How do you feel about what happened and the guy it happened with? Do you want to see him again? Do you want to contact him? How do you feel about a repeat but sober this time? I would suggest that you should approach this from the perspective of what you want and what you feel. Also, of course, what this guy may want and may be feeling. What neither of you should be doing is letting some set of imaginary 'rules' about how hookups are supposed to operate dictate your actions. If you are fine with not seeing him again, that's perfectly OK. But if you are interested in seeing him again and possibly pursuing this where it may go, that's perfectly OK as well. The second important issue here is whether or not you practiced safe sex and (if you didn't or are unsure) how soon you can be tested to make sure you are OK. Ideally, the other guy should be tested as well. My 2c worth, Todd
If you even slightly suspect that you were possibly exposed to an STD, consult a clinic NOW. Being drunk and engaging in sex is very risky behaviour but very early intervention can make a world of difference (sorry for the scary words, but they are scary diseases).
Thanks for the concern guys, but we didn't actually go all the way and have sex. The way I see it is that I don't really know him that well, he lives pretty far away, and we're both going to colleges not near each other next year so there's no point in an actual relationship. I just feel awkward/stalkerish contacting him since it's already been 2 days and I don't have his number so I'd have to do in on FB...
If it's been a couple days, and you see no point, then don't worry about it. You'll be ok, he'll be ok. It'll all be just dandy.
