How does homophobia not bother people?

They think that homophobia is normal since is against what they think is not normal.

 

What the two poster above me say is true, but it doesn't apply to everyone. There are many who are bothered by homophobia.

 

Usually, nothing. They are just passively bothered.

 

I'm bothered by homophobia, but I'm not confident enough to say anything about it.

Most people who see it, and are bothered by it, prefer not to get involved because they think, "It's not my business."

 

You know, I have been accused of "not being a good gay" by one or two friends. Mainly when they came with a story of clear injustice and I didn't give too much of a reaction.

And in a sense, I guess I really am not very prone to any kind of emotional response. I'll usually just roll my eyes and say "how uncivilised", or something like that.

And I get how that can come across to people who ignite at any injustice. On the other hand, for me it's very much a case of picking my battles. I don't think I contribute much to the word by being this guy:



Being angry and bothered takes mental energy, of which I have a finite amount. And I feel I rather spend it on places where I CAN make a difference than being angry at people halfway across the world, and shouting impotent rage at the sky (or the internet as a modern alternative).

Plus, I do feel like I channel my energy in productive ways by being openly gay and educating my friends when they act homophobic. And sometimes I'm so conceited to imagine people appreciate what I have to write on EC and that in that way, I have a bit of an impact on people dealing with GLBT issues.


So: I'm generally less bothered than I could be, but I do think that it's mostly because I channel my energy in other ways.

 

I am going to go with Filip on this. It isn't worth my time. Now of course if someone is bashing or attacking someone I will intervene, but I just can't get myself to get all up in arms over people like the WBC or homophobes

So long as progress keeps getting made on the legal and political level, it's a start

Foxface

 

Homophobia on the internet, it's basically not worth my time. I'm with Filip, too. You wonÄt change someone's opinion over the internet if they're already so narrow-minded.

In IRL however, it seriously pushes my buttons. I'm normally the shy person who likes to avoid fights, but I'm up to the point where if something like this would happen nearby or just generally, someone is discriminated against for something they can't do anything about, so help me god, I will get angry at the bigots.

 

There is even in countries like the UK this underlaying homophobia. Where people are like "these gay repulse me but I guess it's the twenty first century". It where this mysterious support against gay marriage comes from (although I can imagine it's less mysterious in some countries than others). There are loads of people out their who still can't get that not everyone is like them and that just because someone doesn't like what you like doesn't mean they are any less of human than they are.

 

It only bothers me when it is malicious in intent, not just someone repeating information they've been told or are someone who is just uninformed and might be afraid of homosexuality.

I agree with Filip in that I am not going to get huffy over every single little bit of homophobia, there's always going to be homophobia in some way or form. I will defend someone if they are being harmed by some homophobic person, I guess I will defend it if it is something that I can change.

 

It does bother me and my friends, but I almost live by Tyrion Lannister's (from Game of Thrones) quote,"Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."

 

Homophobia is mostly related to one of two things: a) because some people don't understand it and are being spoon-fed by their churches, and b) because people are afraid of the homosexual component within themselves.

 

" I hate the word homophobia, its not a phobia, your not scared, your an asshole."- don't remember who said it but it applies here unfortunately...

 

If homophobia doesn't feel like the right word, then you could try words such as heterocentric and heterosexist. Heterocentric is more for those that prefers hetero-attraction while heterosexist is more for those that prefers heterosexuality.

As for why it doesn't bother many people is because it doesn't really affect a lot of heterosexuals or hetero-orientated people and many still follow the outdated rule that just because it's ok because the majority are that way.

 

I see your point. My take on the term is like this. Phobias are often irrational so their anti-gay response relates to a phobia in that way. Maybe what they fear is someone suspecting them of being gay so they go overboard with their reaction to gay related articles. I've heard the human response to fear is fight or flight. I suppose one could say flight is when some people avoid the "gay area" of a city or gay people and fight is when they harass and/or beat gay people. But yea, I don't think these assholes are actually afraid of gay people, but one could say they display some phobic characteristics.

 

Homophobia bothers me a whole lot. Some days, it's emotionally healthy to stand up for what I believe in and argue the point until I'm sore - it feels like I'm defending myself and I'm not letting people go unchecked. Sometimes, it's best for my emotional wellbeing to take a deep breath and leave the situation alone. If I react when it's best for me not to, it makes me seriously upset and anxious, and vice versa.

Homophobia is never okay and I think whatever reactions keep us the most emotionally healthy are okay.

 

It's probably because they were taught homosexuality is abnormal or wrong, and see no problem with harassing those 'undesirables'. Another reason might be that most people don't care what issues affect someone else unless it involves them directly.

At least, if I remember correctly, a man breaking those 'rules' was thought of deserving as anything that came his way; he was a disgrace, an abomination, not even worthy of compassion, and anyone associating with his type was also labeled as a target. There were rules we followed as heterosexuals, and you might say breaking those rules were equivalent of the concept of sin, with harsh consequences for going against them.

During those early years, I didn't even question the visceral hatred for homosexuality, and you could say gay men were almost like boogeymen. There were all these stories surrounding them, warnings from friends and families, making them seem mystic in ways. The fact that calling another man a faggot was a crime of the highest offense, one that could lead to violence or even murder, speaks volumes for the perception where I was raised.

I've learned a bit since coming to EC, and it looks like society is loosening up a bit, but I'm still not surprised when a man gets kicked to death on the streets by homophobes (women are still raped, colored people are still denied service, trans people are denied recognition).

 

It's not that I have no issue with homophobia or bigoted actions, but that I make an effort to justify why they'd act in that way. It bothers me, and I see it as an excellent example of why it is still important to reach out and encourage people to think outside of the box they were raised in, but I'm not someone who actively screeches for blood whenever a bigoted/homophobic act is committed. It's a sad reflection that most of the time we're preaching to the choir while the people who really need to be reached stand around with cotton wool in their ears.

I also see no point in reasoning with keyboard warriors, not in public at least. If I have issues with the way someone is speaking I'll speak to them privately, and I certainly won't explode or continue pushing my view on what is appropriate behaviour down the throat of an unreceptive individual. It does no good calling someone out on being a bigot unless you're excellent at engaging with them and actively exploring their bigoted ideas to try and find a way to build new ones, especially on the internet where people seem to adore flame wars.