Can long distance relationships work ?

This is how any relationship works, long distance, internet, etc. If you put in 100%, it equates to 50% if your partner puts in 100%, it equates to 50%. 50+50=100. If you put in 100% but your partner only puts in 10%. It equates to 55% which is failing. Basically, if both of you can put in the effort, it can work.

 

I had one that lasted two years and we only saw each other twice due to the expense of flying. After I hit college, he ended up getting a job and we hardly had time to talk. We agreed to end it but remain friends since we had already known each other for so long.

They can work, but it's not easy, and like Paradox15 said, both parties have to put effort into it.

 

FWIW, I know people who are both fully-committed but one or both partners just couldn't handle having it go to an LDR.


Some people just can't handle the difference - be it communication frustration or physical absence :/

 

Absolutely! My friend has a boyfriend who lives in London and they talk through skype every day They have been together for almost 3 years now. As long as you keep in touch and find a way to see eatch other in regular basis it can work out fine. But not for more then 3 years I think, after that long time you should consider moving )

 

I've done long distance before. These folks are right: effort from both = success.
I eventually figured out that long distance is not for me. It requires too much planning/eventual moving for people to be happy.

My example:
I'm in high school and know which school I'm applying at to become a firefighter and paramedic, so there is no way I'm moving. The only way that we'd end up together is if he comes to college here, which I think is stupid - to make a college decision based on a relationship that has not actually withstood the test of IRL.

So - depends on your situation, but it can work.

 

Moving isn't always an option. It depends on the person's age. For example, I was 19-21 when I was with my ex, but we had known each other since we were 13 and had flirted off and on since that point.

 

I had 1 that lasted 1.5 years but it was 5 hours in between and we saw each other at least once a month for a weekend. It worked. Actually better then when he moved into my state.

 

I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say, but I'm guessing you're asking if I'm fine that he's dating someone else. I'm perfectly fine with him dating someone else, why wouldn't I be? It was a mutual agreement to break it off, and we had both agreed previously that if we found ourselves attracted so someone offline we'd tell the other and discuss things.

We were very open with each other, and even though we're exes we still talk when he's able to, and are terrific friends. In fact, he was the second person that I came out to.

 

Essentially, we both knew that it probably wasn't going to work out due to our age, but also the distance. He's in California, I'm in Oklahoma. Still, we both enjoyed it while it lasted. I think a LDR requires a great deal more communication than an offline one since the lack of another person there can make it difficult to remember that you're in a relationship.

 

It will work if you both are willing to put in the effort...if both people really want it to work they will do any and everything to make it happen. I was in a long distance relationship and it didnt work out - we were both busy with school and weren't communicating well.

 

In MY personal opinion, no. There is just so much time spent apart and not as much time talking. This could lead to multiple issues of distrust, which can destroy a relationship.

 

I feel a need to rephrase my sentiment.

LDR's can certainly work. I've seen such happen.


However, some people just aren't the right type for it - and will feel the need to no longer be long-distance despite putting their full effort into it. They shouldn't blame themselves if it doesn't work out (and as such they either need to move back to where their partner is, or in some cases just end it), in other words.

 

I've been in one, and it didn't work, but that's because we weren't putting in the effort that we should have. We just met other people and went our separate ways. Long distance relationships can work, but they take a lot of effort. They can be really hard to maintain, but if you're both willing to work at it, like any relationship, it's completely worth it. Just make sure you both truth each other and get a communication schedule set up. Communication is important in any relationship but even more so in long distance ones. And it's very easy to get tempted to cheat because there's very little chance your SO will find out, but giving in is never the answer. The guilt is still the same.

 

Tried it. Just wasn't... great? You move on emotionally much quicker and leave behind the physical things. You become used to your partner as someone through technology, rather than as a physical person.

Just my feeling.

 

I think it's not for everybody. You gotta put a lot of effort, both actually, and the absence of physical contact is something some people can't deal with. If the relationship aims to one moving to the other's place it could work, but just a long distance relationship with no intention of one moving to the other's place, I doubt it'll last long.

 

I am in a long distance relationship of sorts. We talk on fb everyday and skype as often as possible, but it is difficult. He lives in Europe, so visiting is difficult (if all goes well, I will be with him in June next year ). Like everyone said, a long distance relationship requires effort from both sides. The hardest part for me is that I can't physically be there for him, especially when he is going through a rough time. Sometimes you just need a hug or you just need someone to hold you, but if you can't do that, it is frustrating. Another problem is that you never know what is going on unless the other one tells you. There are days that you don't here from the other person. You don't know if something bad happened or if it is just something small. So the worry drives you crazy! Also, if you don't trust the other person, then I can promise you that it will fail. He/she is going to go out with some friends, they are going to meet other people and they are not going to tell you every single detail of their lives (not necessarily because they have something to hide, but something just don't seem important).

We both made it clear what we expect from one another and we agreed to end things if we happen to meet someone else. You have to be realistic. You can't put your life on hold forever and moving is not always an option. So if he meets someone, I would honestly be devastated. But I would also be happy for him and support him, cause I know that I would still have an amazing friend.

So yeah, I believe it can work as long as there is trust, effort from both sides and as long as both are aware of what the other expects.