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1st timer at the gay club...muy nervioso.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MrSpence, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. MrSpence

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    I'm going to the club Sunday with my boyfriend for the first time as a gay man. I'm nervous as hell. I don't know if I'm nervous because I'm actually getting a chance to be around a whole bunch of other gays as well and get the freedom to express myself(love you Madonna:wink: I just came out a year ago, I'm 26, so I didn't get to grow up with the culture and a network of gay friends :frowning2: any advice on first time club goers?

    I think I'm most worried bout my boyfriends judgement of me around other gays...im not a flirt or anything like that, ive been in a relationship since i came out and perfectly happy :wink:

    I know I sound crazy and a ill paranoid, but I'm just nervous as hell. As a newbie, I want to be myself....I feel like internalized homophobia might be some of the issue. I've accepted myself but I still judge myself, leading myself to believe others judge me more or just as much as I judge myself...lol. I'm excited bout dancing and twerkin it like it ain't no thang, haha, but there's always the worry about what my boyfriend will think about me actin a fool and cuttin a rug at the club? Xanax anyone? lol Jk... deep breath and so here's to banana man (!)
     
  2. LD579

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    I've never been to a club before, but... The important thing is to let loose as much as you are comfortable with (Some people just do not like to dance, such as my dad and my brother and myself). Don't worry about whether or not people will judge you, and on the flip side, try not to judge others as well. Really, you're all there to socialize and/or have fun.

    If people are friendly, you can reciprocate that friendliness and perhaps make new friends or acquaintances. Even just a friendly chat would do no harm. As for you worrying about your boyfriend perhaps judging you around other gay guys... That would be, hypothetically, his own baggage to deal with, and not yours. If it becomes an issue, at the very most you would compromise, but nothing more than that.

    Your boyfriend is with you already. I don't think you have to worry about acting like a fool on the dance floor if you two are already together. He may even have a better time if you let loose, but that is your call to make =)
     
  3. AKTodd

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    Does your boyfriend like to dance? If so, he'll presumably be right there with you. And being friendly and talking to other people doesn't change that fact that at the end of the night you'll be going home with him :thumbsup:

    Have fun,

    Todd:slight_smile:
     
  4. photoguy93

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    Maybe my situation is really different, but if you have a boyfriend, you probably have things under control. I have no gay male friends, have never been to a club, and really don't have much of a connection with the gay community. So...even if you have one of those things covered, you're doing alright!
     
  5. Dins3label

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    You will be fine!

    My first time was not too long ago. It is basically like any other club. If anything, you will feel more relaxed there and your boyfriend will too. Think about it... that''s the only place where you can basically be as open about your sexuality as you want. It's a really cool feeling.

    If you're worried about other guys, you won't have too many problems. Usually, people are just into the other people they are dancing with. When I danced with guys, we did "the look" first to see if we were mutually interested.

    (Side note: I'm pretty sure every gay guy knows the look because we have to use it everywhere else to express interest... unless I'm really off about that claim)

    Plus, you will be dancing with a guy the whole time or off talking! Take some pictures with drag queens and just enjoy yourself, it really is a lot of fun if you like to dance and have fun. You will look back and say "why was I so worried?" I know I did!

    You will be that dancing banana
     
  6. MrSpence

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    Haha! Thanks to you guys for your support on this. I figured out some internalized homophobia has been playing a key role in my emotions lately. I've been a wreck! Haha!

    My boyfriend loves to dance and I do(in my room by self with beyonce blaring) LoL but like I said I'm still not 100% comfortable with the "new" Spence. I'm still trying to get comfortable with my self expression. Which I never seemed to have trouble with when I was playing it "straight"....haha. My boyfriends been out since 15, and he's 26. We both are 26. I've been out just a year and he has 11 on me so I'm just trying to adjust still.

    I'm so comfortable with my boyfriend. We've been together since I came out. He's not my first guy but definitely one of the very few I've been with. I think I seek out his approval more than I should. I already have him so why do I feel the need to impress or seek approval? These past few days have been better and I've really been doing some soul searching and trying to keep in mind that this time is also about *ME* :wink: