It's been a great week for the two of us. My boyfriend is from Canada, and the US government finally granted him his student visa, and now the university will admit him, and we're signed up to be roommates. How different/getting used to is there in moving in with a boyfriend? Things will get hot a lot more often, I would assume. But how different is it?
Wow, you are so lucky, congratulations on your Guy getting his visa, happy days ahead for the both of you
Well, if he's Canadian, he'll probably be very polite . It seems that, like our Mounties...he got his man too, LOL! Moving in with someone will also probably reveal unexpected things...just go with the flow, and communicate, communicate, communicate (even small things can become big things if the other isn't aware of what may be bothering you, and vice versa).
I moved in with my boyfriend about a month ago and I can't say that it really changed anything for us, but I had already been staying here for up to 5 days a week at a time anyway, so we sort of transitioned into it. The only thing that I'd stress is communication and honesty, but that's important regardless.
He has an interesting family. His father was brought to Canada from Ireland as a baby, and when dad and his wife had their first and only child, they gave him an Irish name (Brendan). He was born and raised in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, and when he was 12, mom and dad decided to pack up and move the family to the States, and they decided while they were at it, they were going to move to a small town to get out of the big city. So they found themselves in my hometown in Michigan (about 6,000). This was about the time that he was starting to realize that he was gay, and being transplanted in some strange town he'd never heard of in a different country. So fast forward two years to high school. I had come from some high-class charter school, and when I got to 9th grade, my parents had no choice but to put me in a public school. We met about a week into high school, and we really hit it off. We were great friends at first. Here's the kicker: Neither of us knew the other was gay! He said I was the straightest gay guy he'd ever met. It wasn't until we were 16 when I went over to his house like normal, and he sat me down and said, "I'm scared about telling you this, but I'm gay and I like you. Like a lot." I kissed him. Well, we made out. After that, he just looked at me and said, "That said it all." About a year later, he decided he was going to come out, and that was a challenge for both of us. We both did it together. We sat his parents down, and he just spat it out, "I'm gay, and we love each other. A lot. We're more than friends." His dad sat puzzled and his mom cried. She asked why he hadn't told her earlier, and if we'd been having sex. Eventually they came around and his mom even told me that we make a cute couple. They accept me as a part of their family, and they're really happy for us. He couldn't decide on college, whether to move back to Canada or to stay here, and they actually advised him to apply at the same college I'm going to, and if he got in, that we should request to be roommates, and that's just what we did. He got held up in getting his student visa, as he's now legally an adult, but now that they finally granted it, they accepted him. He's really modest and he does talk like a Canadian. (eh?) I love him to death, and I hope I get to marry him someday. I don't think it's puppy love at all, and neither do his parents. My problem though is that I might have to come out to mine that Brendan is more than a friend, but he's my partner. My mom I suspect knows my orientation, but she doesn't talk about it. My dad still talks to me about "You and your wife" and he's a catholic and intolerant towards gays. We'll see. But yeah, I love him soooooooooo much, and I never would have thought in a million years that I'd fall in love with my best friend.
One small word of warning... Since you signed up to be roommates, it sounds like you are living in a dorm or other college housing. The college may have a rule against living with someone you are romantically involved with. A college in my area has such a rule. You might peruse the official rule book, and, if such a rule exists at your college, you'd better keep your relationship as quiet as possible. Close friends you can trust are one thing, but that neighbor down the hall who hated before he even met you should never, ever learn. ---------- Post added 5th Jun 2013 at 02:05 PM ---------- Oh...yes... I should have mentioned that my concerns above are avoiding problems with official rules. I don't have anything personally against this arrangement. If I were in your position, I might do the very same thing.
I'm looking in the dorm rules, and it's not saying anything about relationships like that, except that opposite-sex overnight guests aren't allowed. Since it's a public, nonreligious university, I'm not thinking that would be a problem. Still would be a good idea to keep quiet about it though.
It's not unimaginable for me... Not that I can imagine falling in love with a friend--all my friends today are women, so falling in love ain't too likely to happen. But I do think that if I ever had a serious relationship, it might have to start as friends. As a society, we so often have our relationships based on new people, and looks. And when the initial passion fades, so often, there is nothing left. If lucky, it fizzles fast. But the divorce courts are probably packed with people who got married on the basis of a nice butt, cute nose, and nothing real in common... ---------- Post added 5th Jun 2013 at 02:13 PM ---------- Well, if they don't like overnight opposite sex guests, they probably won't like a live-in boyfriend. I'm not sure how much the college could do if it's not in the rules, but I do know I would not want to give them a chance to try anything.
[/QUOTE]Well, if they don't like overnight opposite sex guests, they probably won't like a live-in boyfriend. I'm not sure how much the college could do if it's not in the rules, but I do know I would not want to give them a chance to try anything.[/QUOTE] Yeah, it seems like it's better to not ask right now.
