Hi, I am wondering if anyone who has identified, or currently identifies as bisexual, pansexual, fluid etc. has any insights or opinions on long-term monogamous commitment or marriage. I mean it is hard enough if you identify as homo or heterosexual to be certain! This isn't to say that bisexual people cannot enjoy a satisfying long-term monogamous commitment at all. I am sure many can, but I still wonder about "the other side" and if it also demands satisfaction from external sources from time to time. I ask, partly out of personal interest, because I identify as bisexual but have only been with men, and wonder if one day I will find it essential to explore a relationship with a woman, or if, over time, my sexual attraction to men will actually dwindle and I will identify as a lesbian. And partly I am just curious what you think! In your opinion/ experience, should bisexuals always experiment with people of different sexes and genders before settling down? Do feelings tend to shift one way or another over the years? Have you ever felt unsettled or insecure about settling down because of your sexual identity? Thanks for your thoughts! :icon_bigg - Ellie
I'm interested in some kind of non-monogamy when I'm in a committed relationship(s). I don't find restricting myself to one person very appealing. Before this site, I wasn't aware that several multisexuals do have an issue of desiring another gender while in a monogamous relationship and it just makes me more convinced to pursue non-monogamy.
Settling down does take a while, but when you fall for someone, you just fall for them. At that point, it's not so much about sexuality as it is about love. There are people who never settle down. In college, I had serious feelings for a girl, but I did eventually decide that I like guys better because I can better relate to them. Feelings do change, and that's OK, but when you meet the right person, you just know, speaking from experience. Getting married is a matter of being ready and committed. It takes a lot of work, but it's always better not to be married than to be married to the wrong person. Also, as far as experimenting goes, I think it's good as a general rule to figure out what you like and don't like in a partner before settling down, so I definitely encourage trying everything you want to try. However, I have heard of married couples having a mutual girlfriend, so it's all just a matter of who you're with. Some people are more open to being with a bisexual person and what comes with that than others.
