Coming out to people you've just met

I never say anything about it unless they bring it up. They don't need to know unless they're my friend. The only reason I told my school was because I was outed.

 

As I said the other day "I will be coming out for the rest of my life"

 

Yeah, I don't really see the point in specifically coming out to everybody I meet... If it comes up it comes up. People I just meet don't need to know. If they ask if I have a girlfriend, I say no. Done.

 

It doesnt bother me, i usually get it out in the open very quickly, let people know me properly first time round. It lets me be myself too and maybe even change their opinions of bi people.

Especially if i like them it can give something to talk about

If they come across as homophobes ill only tell them if i feel safe, with a group of friends.

 

I've come out to people within 30 seconds of meeting them before (although those were special cases, because it was relevant to the conversation). With time and practice, coming out becomes something that's not a big deal when you have to do it. It becomes like telling people you're left-handed when they'd assumed you were right handed, or that you're a math major when they'd assumed you're a computer science major (to draw on an example from my own life). It just becomes a matter of correcting people because they'd assumed something incorrect about it.

And when you think about it like that, the fact that you'll be "coming out for the rest of your life" doesn't seem so bad.

 

It's no big deal. A lot of what I talk about is how much I find men attractive, unless we're discussing Penelope Cruz (unf). If they look confused, I'll mention "Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm gay," and without missing a beat, continue my story.

 

As I just posted in the "What are you Thinking?" thread, I get really tired of people being shocked over it.


I'll just bring it up in conversation, make a very nonchalant reference to liking guys and bam


"What? You? Really?"


*Sigh; cue sarcastic response*

"Well, no, I'm just heterocurious obviously. I couldn't possibly be full-on gay. Otherwise, you would have just known and I could've carried on this conversation as though a guy liking guys were wholly trivial..."

:bang:




I look forward to the day, should there ever be one - When someone can merely mention liking "x" type of person, and then carry on without shock from any party... :dry:

 

This. ^^^^

 

I know what you mean, if I'm asked or is relevant to the conversation I try to come out. But it is difficult sometimes to come out to someone you barely know.

 

At this point, I am only out to a few people, but in a couple of years, when I'm comfortable coming out I plan on announcing my sexuality in one of two ways:


If they ask, "Do you have a girlfriend/Are you seeing anyone?"

I would simply say, "No, I haven't met the right guy," or (hopefully) "Yes, I actually have a boyfriend."


If they say, "Man that girl is hot!"

I would say, "She is, but not as much as that guy."


Of course, I think most people will find out if/when I change my Facebook profile.

 

That's the point where I tend to get the *shocked face*, though, and feel prompted to address it. Hopefully doesn't work that way for you, though.

 

Well, you don't need to say "Hello, nice to meet you, I'm gay" but if it comes up, it's fine i think

 

That begs the question, "What is coming out?" That wording implies that you are finally revealing a closely-guarded secret, rather than happening to inform somebody without trying to keep it from them beforehand.

One as much "comes out" to a stranger at least by saying what their favorite movie is.

 

At one point in my coming out process, I went through a period of almost literally telling people (Such as new housemates moving into the place I was living at) that I was gay.

These days, I tend to just talk about what my partner and I did/are doing in the same way straights talk about what they did/are doing with their spouse/SO. Maybe it's just the circles I move it but I don't get much in the way of shocked looks. Most seem to just figure it out or else they eventually ask who 'Chris' is and I tell them and they obviously get it then.

I probably got more of a reaction when first coming out sometimes (but that was back in the early 90s) but it never really bothered me. Shock is the other person's problem, not mine.

Todd

 

As far as sexuality, well, I'm not open at all with it...even if someone commented on someone being good looking, I'd probably look but not respond.

Um, once I've transitioned, will I come out to newly met people? Heck no. If trust hasn't been established, I'm not going to tell them I was born female. Especially if I'm still living in the south....I know I'll get shot. :icon_conf

 

I don't exactly introduce myself with "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm gay." There are a lot motivations to coming out. To be open about yourself of course. To see which of your friends and family truly loves you for who you are. But when it comes to complete strangers I just met, I'm not going to bring it up if it's not on-topic. It could be as simple as somebody asking me what kind of women I like and simply correcting them.

 

I came out just yesterday to an old friend. He is the first I've told from a certain bunch of individuals I used to know in my twenties.

It had a purpose though, the rest of that bunch would eventually find out, so I wanted to gauge what the reaction would be. My friend, at any rate, was fine with it and flattered that I trusted him with this information.

For now, until the divorce is final, he will keep it to himself. His busybody wife however learned of my current separation, and she's already scheming to fix me up with some woman...my friend will have an interesting challenge on his hands...

Just to say that coming out has gotten quite easy...

 

If I am close to them pretty quickly, it's not that hard. Like I barely knew my boyfriend when I first started dating him and I was just confessing everything to him like 3 days after we first started going out and it sort of came out.