So recently I did an exercise, say out loud I'm gay, I'm bisexual, I'm straight, I'm a man and I'm a woman. I was surprised when I felt a pressure on my chest when I said I'm gay and I'm straight and not when I said I'm bisexual. I guess it shows how we truly see ourselves. It's just like saying, I've got brown eyes, if it's true, you feel nothing. It worked for me. Try it, maybe you find something you didn't know about yourself, of maybe I'm just crazy and in desperate need of acceptance, but I don't think so. I know it may sound very fairy tale, but we've got nothing to lose. Also, you may be wondering what I felt when I said I'm a man and I'm a woman. The answer was the same that I got when I said I'm bisexual, nothing. But that's cause I acknowledge that if I were to wake up a woman tomorrow, I wouldn't care. Post what you think or felt (if you did it)
Well, it would work for me, accept to be "fully truthful" I'd have to entirely qualify my statement. So, it would go like, I'm pretty much mostly gay, except: "in order to be fully truthful, I have to write it all the way out - otherwise I feel like I'm lying to some extent, therefore... Spoiler 1. I am sexually attracted to three types of men. By this I mean I would, given the opportunity, be willing to just jump right in the sack with them and have fun. These are: Bears, goths, and the … highly muscled. Like unreasonably attractive muscled – Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Brad Pitt in Troy, etc. etc. 2. However, I will claim that, when it comes to relationships I always value (sometimes to the extent such that physical attraction means absolutely nothing to me) personality. Which for me typically entails either someone nerdy or a “sarcastic bastard like myself.” Or better yet both. Perhaps a few other traits, but those formerly mentioned in particular. 3. When I encounter these types of people, and allow myself to become close to them, and find that they are willing to reciprocate in at least a friendship, I tend to crush hard on these people – again entirely regardless of their physical appearance. 4. When it's men – and generally not the type I am sexually attracted to, mind you - I will almost always eventually begin having begrudgingly sexual fantasies about said guy (I say begrudgingly because I do not actively go about engaging in it; tends to just pop into my mind). 5. With women that I end up crushing hard on, up until just recently...no sexual interest. In fact I'm typically “turned-off” by the idea, which is different even from the men who don't fit my physical attraction criteria – where that “idea” of going forward is much more so an ambivalent one. 6. But, as I said, just recently, for the first time, I had a sexual fantasy of a female crush “pop up.” Very much so to my surprise. And while I'm apprehensive about the notion of sex with women....well, that would appear to contradict it. So, it would seem, if I were to describe it – I am sexually attracted to a certain type of male form, shall I say “androsexual with specific preferences;” then, romantically, attracted to particular personalities regardless of gender; and, it would seem – potentially demisexual toward those particular types of personalities. "....and, as far as I can tell, that's how it works for me." Thus my reticence to merely say "yep, pretty much gay." It's not necessarily fully true.
About a year ago, when I was alone, I felt the urge to state out loud "I'm gay," and "I am a man who will one day marry a man and have a husband." It really felt right. It took some getting used to because of social conditioning but it felt good. I will admit that the first time I said it out loud, I was overcome with emotion.
Actually, I truly believe in verbal rehearsal. It does make you feel the strength of your conviction.
Well. I just had a fun three minutes of whispering "I'm Bi.." and then winking at myself. Did it make me feel relieved? Not particularly. But maybe I should've been more extravagant in the way I did it.
