How do you get over not being able to talk about people you like?

I talk about it to my kitty cat or I write it down. It isn't as great as getting any feedback, but at least you're getting to say something about it.

 

I'm out, but I avoid talking about same sex attractions because I'm concerned I might make heterosexuals uncomfortable. Its not difficult, though. I'm not a very social person, and I don't feel the urge to talk about who I find attractive.

Could you try finding LGBT friends, maybe join a youth group or something?

 

If I have a reason to talk to them, I just do. Only in very few cases where the ice had already been broken did I continue to be jittery.

If I don't have a reason and can't manufacture one, I just accept that we were not supposed to cross paths. This bothered me up through college and a little after that, but not so much anymore.

Getting people off of a pedestal just comes with time. I'm glad I'm mostly at that point. Also, what you come to learn is that these people you idolize aren't as "perfect" as you think they are.

 

This, too.

 

Realizing that you usually only get a narrow opportunity for success. Miss it because of chickening out, and you deal with that regret forever. But if you DO talk to that person, even if you fail at *winning* them so to speak, you know that you attempted it and that is worth everything.

 

That's why I have a diary. It's not the same but that's the best I can have.
One time we were at a shop and suddenly I saw one of my crushes who works there but she's not always sitting at the check-out but this time she was. When I saw it was her line we were standing in, I wished I would either pass out or disappear.:icon_redf I felt so.. hyper all of a sudden that I turned to my mother with a stupid grin on my face and almost blurted out how hot that woman was. I was literally two seconds away from saying something inappropriate.:icon_redf

 

I actually talk about it with my dad and my brother :S But after seeing this thread, maybe what I have always been doing is inappropriate? I'm pretty sure my brother is pretty comfortable when i talk about my crush to him. But maybe my dad has always felt awkward about it but doesn't want to say anything because he wants me to feel normal? I would actually go like "yeah i have always had a crush on this guy at school, he's so attractive etc..." and my dad would just like laughed in an awkward way. Oh god, I've been embarrassing myself this whole time, haven't I?

 

No, you haven't.(*hug*) Don't worry about it. If they are willing to listen to you without saying anything hurtful, that probably means they're trying to accept you. And anyway, it's always a bit uncomfortable to talk about people you're interested in with your family, at least for me it is.

 

Thank you (*hug*)

 

You're welcome.

 

Hmm. Sounds like that job at the restaurant could come with some benefits not mentioned by HR

Rather more seriously, this issue tends to go away (or at least reduce a lot) after you come out, whether by then being able to talk to your family, or by developing a circle of friends who you can talk to.

Todd

 

Nah, don't talk about it with parents, though I think I wouldn't have a problem bringing a guy home. With my friends, they're mainly nosy anyway so want to know but I normally I... choose my words carefully.

 

Well, I just don't talk to anyone about that stuff. I mentioned it on here a couple times before but not much came out of it. Also, even if I was straight I wouldn't want to discuss my love life with my parents, and definitely not with my brother. So, most of the times I just keep it all to myself. Sometimes I just wish I could hug my crush and never let him go again, but I know it's never gonna happen.

 

I mean, I've had a crush on this girl for...two months? I've never mentioned it to anybody (except the people on EC, obviously). I mostly just push away most of the thoughts and write down the ones I can't push away. I mean, I can't ever go out with her because she's straight and I'm still in the closet. So it's just best not to think about it.

 

Before I came out, I would just think about them obsessively. Not a very healthy way to go about things, however.