What do you guys think?

[SamAlex728]

OK, so I was in English today and we were doing creative writing. My teacher gave us a bunch of prompts. The one I chose was "There was a catch..." Before I show it to you, I want to tell you what my teacher and classmates thought. About five of my classmates called it deep. My teacher said "That is some high level writing." And she was talking about how she was trying to tell how it would end and was surprised. Mind you, I am only in seventh grade. Here goes:

The Horrible Catch

They had made a solid deal. There was a catch. The deal was that Johnny would work for Tyler in exchange for food. This would only be for a week. Johnny was starving. Tyler took advantage of his situation. The catch was that if Johnny worked for food for a week, he would become Tyler's slave. At least he would be fed. Johnny agreed. He had made the biggest mistake of his life. He didn't read the fine print. There was a catch to the catch! The second catch was that if Tyler ever ran out of work for Johnny, he would be sold. The new owner didn't have to sign a contract with Johnny. The new owner didn't legally have to feed Johnny, as Tyler didn't have to put it in the contract. One day, Tyler ran out of work and Johnny was sold. Jeremy bought Johnny. Jeremy didn't feed Johnny, because he didn't have to. After a week of work with a ton of work and no food, Johnny was exhausted and famished. Johnny never quit for fear of being killed. A normal person would say, "The heck with it. Death is better than this." Johnny never thought that way. He persevered. After another week of starvation, Johnny's throat was slit with a sickle while working in the fields. It was an accident. To Johnny it was a favor.

pretty dark and disturbing. an interesting commentary on the human condition from such a young mind.

[CrimsonThunder]

I like the concept although the way its written could be improved, too many short sentences and the over-use of the same words made it confusing at the start.

[SamAlex728]

Originally Posted by CrimsonThunder

I like the concept although the way its written could be improved, too many short sentences and the over-use of the same words made it confusing at the start.

i know. i didnt have much time
she told us to write sloppy so we get the main ideas in the amount of time we had. we didnt even have an entire class period.
i think the surprise ending was the best part