Feeling disgusted at the thought of homosexuality

I know of some Straight Guys that think Cunnilingus is disgusting & would never do it, but that's not to say it is wrong, it's just not to everyone's taste (if you pardon the pun) the same thing goes for Straight Women & Fellatio, it's whatever floats you boat, just because your Father thinks Anal Sex is Disgusting, doesn't mean it's wrong

 

It's kind of common, I guess, I'm in West Europe also. My Dad is heterosexual (quote) "and will remain heterosexual", but he isn't homophobic. He can't be, since I'm bisexual and my biological father is homophobic, though that "father" tries to hide it from me. My non-homophobic Dad is the only real Dad I have.

Although, he doesn't want two guys going at it in a pub, he doesn't like it, and he definitely does not like the idea of gay sex. He doesn't mind like a peck on the lips in the pub but not full on snogging, which I understand. I don't think I'd like it in the middle of a really public area, just on their own, for any type of relationship. Maybe in a group of friends and they weren't in a pub, maybe just sat in a park or something, away from others.

Neither of us think it's wrong at the end of the day.

 

My respose to that, if I'm up to arguing, is "Yeah, and I assure you there's some gay person that finds the thought of you and a woman having sex to be absolutely disgusting. Is that a reasoning to condemn you? No. So grow up and get over it. If it doesn't harm you then it ought to be fine."

I don't think the feelings themselves (being grossed out by the idea of two sexes you aren't attracted to having sex) are borne out of prejudice. But the moment they use it as a rationalization to discriminate they are crossing a line. :dry:

 

I never was disgusted in gay anal sex (look at me now ironically) But instead confused as to how a man could have taken an interest into it. Of course my curiosity led me to finding out that answer by myself.. Awkward moment, but other then that, your dad is probably thinking about the same thing. Plus if you ever go into deep thought about it.. The thing that always comes into your mind, well atleast for me, is "I poop from there, so does he.. What if.." Yea.

 

I definitely think you can be prejudiced without being homophobic, and in fact, have known of many straight women, for example, who support gay rights, have gay friends, etc, but absolutely will not have anything to do with a man who has been involved sexually with another man before. It tarnishes their image of what makes a 'man' and many admit the thought alone disgusts them for whatever reason.

It's probably the fact that it seems 'unnatural' for so many, combined with misconceptions on homosexual acts that scares people away from the thought. The message becomes 'well, it might be okay for you, but don't expect me to be into it'.

Not everyone is into the same things, but to feel revulsion towards something that isn't harming anyone, something that millions of people across the world consider natural, seems to go a bit too far. This shows a lack of thinking, only going by what others consider 'normal', since I doubt most of these people would even *care* if anti-homosexual messages weren't shoved down their throats from multiple sources from an early age.

When a gay person says they feel disgusted by the thought or act, 'internalized homophobia' is brought up, so why should it be any different for heterosexuals?

 

I'm reading it more as 'it's not for me, so as long as I don't see it, then it doesn't bother me'. I don't find anything particularly homophobic about your dad's statement, and yes I do think it's pretty typical for heterosexual women (of which I'm friends with many) to find two women in bed gross/unappealing. I myself cannot understand heterosexual sex - why would anyone want a penis inside of them? Doesn't appeal to me, so it doesn't make sense/seems disgusting to me. That doesn't mean I'm homophobic, just that penetration of any form doesn't interest me whatsoever.

 

I really don't react well when straight people say the thought of homosexuals repulses them. I just find it such an insult to us as human beings, just because they might not understand or agree with that lifestyle why do they have to be disgusted and repulsed by it? There's a lot of things I can't grasp, comprehend or feel indifferent about but I don't have such strong negative opinions or beliefs about it. I feel the same when homosexuals say they are disgusted by straight people having sex...what is there to be disgusted about! I just don't get it. :icon_sad: Sex, attraction or most importantly LOVE! People sharing those things with each other is the most beautiful thing you can do in life whoever that person may be.

 

I think it's pretty common to find sex that doesn't turn you on disgusting. But most people wouldn't openly say it's disgusting unless they're homophobic or unusually honest.

Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to jump from 'it's disgusting' to 'it's wrong'. There really is no logical reason why disgusting things should automatically be considered wrong, but there is research showing that a lot of people think that way. (And not just about sexuality. One scenario in one research study involved a hypothetical culture where it was the norm to spit in your soup before drinking from it, in full view of your hosts. Many participants said that was wrong, even though there's no logical reason to forbid spitting in your own food.)

Personally, I find all sex disgusting. But I don't let my feelings of disgust determine my sense of right and wrong.

 

I really don't think that it's anybody's fault when they see it as unnatural if they were never around it. Our society surrounds us with straight sex all the time and of course people will see it as foreign first. On the flip side, I have begun to realize that I have no desire to see straight sex. I think there is a difference between respecting the sex and just not wanting to see it. It's a tricky line... And it's hard to define what is distaste, disgust, and prejudice.

In addition, I think that people take the "just don't let me see it" stance as a way to appear neutral on the subject - especially by straight guys who don't want to appear homophobic but at the same time not too gay friendly

 

I hate the stereotypes like that. I remember one Comedy Central Presents episode where this guy talked about that:

"And, you know he likes to say things like, "the thought of two men having sex makes me sick!" Yeah, well, the thought of your fat, hairy ass humping away doesn't exactly tickle me pink either!"

I had one of my boyfriend's uncles openly say that he thought Brendan was just my butt boy because he thought I was in my 20's (I look older than I really am) and I'm dating a (at that time) 17-year old. I wanted to punch him in the face

 

I can't stop laughing at this right now lol

Grave Child brought up a great point, but it leads me to another question.. Can you be prejudiced against black people and still not be considered racist?

 

My mom said that she's grossed out by the thought of gay/lesbian sex, but has no issue if people engage in it. Quote "Gay sex grosses me out, but so does the thought of (straight female neighbor down the street) having sex. What two consenting adults do behind closed doors doesn't affect me." I don't know how she feels about PDA.

Note, she uses the term "gay" as a catch all for same-sex sex.

 

My dad hates gay people too. Its a laughing matter for him. He makes fun of gays. Thats why its hard to come out!!

 

I think it's just that he doesn't like the idea of it. Like not that he cares if other people do it or that he thinks it's wrong, he probably just doesn't like the idea of it. Just like I don't like to think of anyone having sex or all the stuff that they might do. The only time I might like thinking about it is between me and my partner, but I don't want to think about other people in the bedroom. It's probably the same thing with him, so I wouldn't worry about it.

 

Yeah...this may not be the case with your dad, Hexagon, but I find that a lot of men who tend to actually say things like "gay sex disgusts me" are the type of people who are ultra worried about unwanted sexual advances by gay men, super judgmental about any kind of PDA between gay men and are actually homophobic--though not to the extent that they would deny a gay person rights they deserve.

That's still homophobia. The person may be trying for acceptance and just not there yet, but it's still homophobia and thus should be thought over and worked through.

The reality is, why does it matter? There are all kinds of people having all kinds of sex that you might not be interested in, but do you look at straight couples holding hands and go "EW, they maybe have sex I am not into!" No, because you don't actually know what kind of sex they have, it's not your business, and being straight is touted as normal.

I used straight men as the example here because this is where I find this attitude more often, but I'm not at all saying that straight women don't do this. They totally do, I just don't see it quite as often.

 

I've heard that reaction from people looking at straight couples they consider to be unattractive. For example, I've heard people talk about how grossed out they are by the thought of two (straight) fat people having sex.

 

I believe in the beauty of love. All love is a beautiful thing, whether it's between a man and a woman, two men or two women. Whether it's between to 19 year olds, or two 90 year olds, it's a beautiful thing.

 

Maybe he should stop thinking about it. This reminds me of being told as a child that it was extremely rude to make sounds of disgust or negative comments about a food someone is eating that you don't care for. What's the point of him even sharing this; maybe he should keep his disgust to himself.

 

My best friend says that he is "completely fine with homosexuality" and he even said that "now that you're open about it, I couldn't imagine you being straight" which I took as a good thing. There can be homophobic heterosexuals, supporting heterosexuals, and even homophobic homosexuals (honest). And it is true that someone can be supportive of hay rights etc, but must find the whole thing a bit, wrong, or not right. Its their opinion and no matter what your dad says, it's not going to make you straight.