I'm actually upset my dad told me he loved hostas so I went got one and planted it in a pot for him and placed It on his bedroom deck, I tol him to come look come look he came and saw it and was like "why did you do that" I said becuase you said growing up you love them I thought it was nice "I don't care about plants I don't have time to care for it" I said I will ill look after it but do you actually like it "I don't care for it to be honest" I'm like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I try to do something nice before Father's Day not just buying him something but putting thought in to it and that's what I get? Really? I told him I was hurt and he said "grow up not everything will go your way In life it's time you learned that" I'm so..... Not upset or hurt kind of shocked ya.......
Oh it sucks when you try to do something nice to earn a parent's love and acceptance, and they spurn your attempts without any concern for your feelings. Just know in your heart that you did a good deed, and that your father was completely in the wrong for reacting that way. Don't beat yourself up over it, you were right, he was wrong, and he needs to re-evaluate the way he treats you.
Oh, Alexander... you are SUCH a sweet guy... and your parents are both SUCH douchebags. It's incredibly sweet that you went to the trouble of thinking of something unique and interesting that would evoke positive memories for your dad... and I can't believe (actually... I can, knowing what you've said) that he just completely shit on it. The guy must be an even bigger dickwad than I already thought. This really, really sucks, but I think what you have to start coming to accept is that both of your parents are self-absorbed, shallow, and likely narcissistic, if not clinically then at least in practical terms. They don't do anything that doesn't directly or indirectly benefit them, they are incapable of looking out for anyone's needs other than their own, and they harshly judge everyone. Unfortunately, we're also hardwired to want acceptance and love and respect from our parents, so no matter how shitty they treat us, a part of us will always keep trying to please them... sometimes, unconsciously, long after they've passed on. I agree with Rakkaus. You did everything you were supposed to do, you did it for the right reasons, you approached it with an open heart. You just happen to have a father (and a mother) that's incapable of empathy. So I'd work on just accepting that they will likely *never* approve of much of anything you do, and you'll *never* live up to their standards... not because there is anything wrong with you , but because they're fucked up beyond repair and it's extremely unlikely they will ever change. Once you realize that they are simply incapable of giving you the love, respect, approval, and kindness you want and deserve... it will be easier to let go of the expectation you'll ever get it from them, and you'll be able to surround yourself with others who will love you for you, not for your money, possessions, home, car, or anything else. But you've also got to set yourself up to be loved for who you are... and moving away from the pretense and shallow materialism your parents practice will be an important part of that.
