Bullying?

[Possible trigger warning]

Yeah, I've been bullied pretty much all my life.

The first major period of bullying was when I was 8/9. There were a few incidents before that, but I don't really remember them and they weren't as bad. I mentioned this one in an earlier thread. I came out as being a boy to my parents, and then went to a new school. (I received a fair amount of bullying from my parents about that, but thats a different story). My parents informed the school that I was "really a girl", and the teachers basically told the kids I was a freak. I was totally isolated the whole time, and I experienced LOADS of verbal and emotional bullying. There were a few incidents of physical violence as well. I got called "it" all the time, which made me feel no more human that everything else they called "it", like pencils.

That was probably the beginning of my depression, and I distinctly remember considering suicide. It was also the beginning of my complete inability to go to school. I probably missed school about 50% of the time, and perhaps 2 months before the end of the year, I refused to go back, and I had to be homeschooled the rest of the year.
Strangely, my parents never seemed to take this as me being transgender. When it came for me to start a new school, I'd come to the conclusion I could never be a boy since it hurt so much, but seriously, take a hint much?

After that, I was bullied pretty much all of my school life, until the last year of my GCSEs (taken at age 16 for those who don't know what year that is). And I never did really get my attendance above 50%, which my schools really didn't like.

I was bullied because I was weird, different, bisexual, transgender.
I feel ambivalent when I look back now. It was a horrible experience, and as the suicide attempts suggest, it could have killed me. But it didn't, and I try not to hate my experiences, because they make me who I am.
I don't hold it against the bullies. Not that they were justified in what they did, but I forgive them. They only acted the way they did because it never occurred to them not to.

 

The only "bullying" I was subject to was being placed near the bottom of the social totem pole in high school because I hated all of my peers. People thought they could talk down to me, and make me feel "less than"... Luckily for me, it didn't work, because they never actually offended me.

And what I mean by that is that since I didn't talk to anybody and I was never interested in them, people assumed I was a freak and so they figured I was automatically less than them. Needless to say I bitched out a few people back in my day and by grade eleven the social totem pole moved to new people who gave a shit about their placement on it.

 

(*hug*) if i was your classmate, i wont do that to you. You are so brave.

Ive been bullied called freak and even harrassed physically by my Classmates, that was hard and i also attempted suicide for being different. It was a christian school and the students are worst. Tho experiences like this makes us stronger and them, weaker. Bullies are forever losers

 

How many? I think I went to about 14 schools. My parents were terrible homeschoolers.

My reasoning is this: Why would they bully? You do get some people who truly get pleasure out of causing pain, but I don't think that applies to the average school bully. They do it because they've been taught to fear and attack difference. They don't really consider the fact that there is actually a person in there.

 

Well no shit you're gay and so of course you understand the transgender plight.
I've been bullied before, but this was back a few years ago, when no one knew what "gay" was. I was just bullied for not acting all tough and manly and stuff.

 

(*hug*) Thanks. Sounds like you had it hard too.

 

Oh my gosh man i was just being nice and supportive!

 

I've always sort of done my own thing -

Grammar school - no, and I had my circle of friends
High school - acted out in class sometimes, and received a few snide comments but had a small circle of friends
Second high school; we moved - completely ignored, worst couple of years in my life
College - went away, made a few friends, didn't want to deal with the popular or boisterous crowd, and kept my distance
After college; moved away - sort of like college ever since really

Trust me, the silent treatment can have the same effect

Bullying is, in its simplest form, a technique for someone to capitalize on someone's real or perceived weaknesses and affirm their dominance or superiority. It's sort of Darwinian, it seems. But we are humans living in a complex modern world, and not in the wilds.

 

i was when i was in middle school. but i once got tired of it, and punched somebody in the face for calling me a faggot. (he ended up with a major concussion). nobody ever fucked with me after that.

 

I've only been bullied a few times (by adults and children alike) and it did make me feel bad when it happened, but really I was the kid that nobody ever talked to or invited to parties or really had any friends... I'm actually still that way now come to think of it... I really haven't changed much at all since I was a little kid. Even my appearance is still pretty much the same. I just graduated and people still think I'm a freshman in highschool.

 

What happens when someone does this in school, or at most schools? A person insulted you and you struck him. Do they kick people out of school or discipline people when something like this plays out this way?

(Not making a judgment one way or the other, but want to know how schools deal with this).

 

Yeah, it was awful for ages. I came close to death a couple years ago, actually. It's left me with many problems because my brain hates me.

Humans are intriguing. Why can't we be more like dogs? Or guinea pigs?

:icon_sad:

 

I got bullied from the 6th - 12th grade.

Fat-Ed-Nerd was my nickname the other kids gave.

In a way though, it taught me to not value the opinion of others, and that fitting in isn't important.

Also, since I've been called every name under the sun, I have come backs for all the basics, you gotta be pretty creative to insult me. Also being that I was on outside looking in, it helped develop my observational skills.

 

I was bullied a couple of times in my life. Never that bad. However I just want to say that bullies peak at high school which is really pathetic. Never allow yourself you think your inferior to them. Your probably 50 times the person they are.

 

I was bullied from Kindergarten to senior year of high school. The earliest experience of bullying I have is with this one girl constantly stepping on the heels of my shoes. >_> It snowballed from there...I've been bullied for a variety of things....

Weight: Starting from 5th grade, I was overweight and was just getting heavier. I got called a lot of names for it, heard all the fat jokes, and was, for some reason unknown to me, repeatedly called a "cow" by one of my friends. It didn't stop at school, either...my family constantly joked about my weight also. Even now that I'm slim, I get called out by people for looking "starved" or, as my mother so kindly told me last week, a "Holocaust survivor." Considering how hard it was to lose all that weight, it's insulting that people STILL are getting on me and picking at me about my weight. Oh, well. I feel nice, so meh.

Religion: I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, so that meant that I didn't celebrate birthday or holidays and that I had to do that door-to-door preaching stuff. It also meant that I couldn't really make close friends with people at school since they weren't part of the religion and part of "Satan's world." Sooooo, I'd get picked on and insultingly pitied because I didn't celebrate Christmas or my own birthday. One of my classmates saw me out preaching one Saturday in high school, and the following Monday, I'd gained the moniker "Preacher Boy."

Race: I'm black (if that isn't obvious from some of my recent posts ), and oddly, I got picked on mostly by members of my own race. According to them, I was trying to "act white." They called me "Oreo" and "Swiss roll" because I was "chocolate on the outside, vanilla on the inside," as one so kindly put it. And then there were the "Carlton" jokes... (anyone who's seen Fresh Prince of Bel-Air knows what I'm talking about). As far as people of other races picking on my skin color, it didn't happen too often. The worst I've gotten was being called "shit colored" and I've gotten called nigger by an angry customer back when I was working a couple of years ago (behind my back when they thought I wasn't in earshot).

Sexuality: I never told anyone I was gay, but people assumed I was because I never dated girls (which was also because of my religion, which I got picked for once I did explain), I didn't behave in a stereotypically black manner, I didn't like/play football or any other sport, and my voice was not very deep (thanks, father.... :dry: ). The most humiliating experience I had with that was in the locker room during P.E. in 9th grade. Boys were making homophobic comments, talking about how they feel uncomfortable being in a locker room with a gay guy who sneaks stares at them and stuff, and it was obviously directed at me since I saw people maliciously glare in my direction.

Looking back on it, this all affected me very negatively. I'm still suffering from self-esteem issues to this day because bullying has basically been my life, even at home and among my "friends." I will say that enduring all the bullying has made me grow a thicker skin and caused me not to be so gullible (I'm quite the cynic...). I used to hold it against them for the longest time, but then I just let it go. There's no point in holding grudges. It only wastes time and energy. As for my family, I still live with them, so I still have to deal with it from time to time. However, they're crazy and far from normal, so I just mostly write it off now.

 

I was bullied from 1st-6th grade. In 7th grade I got into a fight with one of my bullies and kicked his ass, so they all stopped after that. Haven't been bothered by them since.

 

I wasn't bullied horribly throughout my school years but got the usual nitpicking and derogatory comment, which comes with nearly every public school on the outskirts of Melbourne itself.

I was called "ugly" and "mannish" by females in middle school, but I doubt that anyone can say that they haven't dealt with petty insults as such during those years. In aggressively got worse as I moved up in school years, now being targeted for my behaviour, my looks, my ethnicity, so on and so forth. The only incident I can recall from previous years, would be when I was in elementary school, and kids would ask me why I was so, "dark" compared to them- which lead to an entire race/ethnicity talk by both my parents at the time.

Fast forward to today, I'm fortunate to say that the harassment I go through at school isn't necessarily physically violent, but it is derogatory and oppressing. I'm typically referred to as an, "it" and have had classmates refer to me as "tranny." Even school staff oppresses me by not allowing me to use either gender bathroom, but I refuse to be told where I'm allowed to take a piss. Transphobia is something I have to deal with every day, and though it's mind-numbing and terrible, I've learned how to counter-react negativity and fight through it. I'm glad to have friends and some teachers that support me in full and do not tolerate any sort of discrimination against me, no matter if it's my gender, sexuality, ethnic background, anything.

I'm sure some of it has affected me in a negative way, considering I have some anxiety problems around those my age and developed depression in my early teens. I try my best to support and stand up for those who I witness being harassed in any way at my school, and make an effort to try and educate. If only I could apply the same confidence to myself in regards to self-defense..

I'm hoping that university is an entirely different environment, and much more accepting/tolerant of minorities.

 

I was in an all-black grade school when Martin Luther King was killed and was already hated for being a different color than them and after his death I got a daily interrogation why I wanted him dead. I didn't have a clue who MLK was at the time but certainly hated him for what I went through. It not so much what happened in that school as finding out I didn’t have to go there. I was just expected to handle it and never was asked what happened there.

I am now working at a ninety percent black hospital and for the second time in my life I can be myself without having to worry about fitting in. The other time was an all-black employees also. The parallels of experience are quite confusing but in reality I have more in common with black folks than white.