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Question about orientation

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AwesomGaytheist, Jun 15, 2013.

  1. AwesomGaytheist

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    Does orientation change as you grow up? When I first got interested in sex, even after the rape, I was only into girls. I remember playing doctor with a girl at 11, and she showed me her private parts, and I had a massive erection. But as I got older, I started liking guys, thought I was bi, and nowadays, I'm solely into guys, and have really no interest in women.
     
  2. King

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    Quite a few people believe so. It's possible your orientation has changed (and will continue changing), but I wouldn't say it's common. I'm gay and always have been, and always will be.
     
  3. snfu

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    I doubt it I think you just "find yourself" as you grow older. My situation was similar to yours but over the years seeing what I do and do not like I have found Im fully gay.
     
  4. gravechild

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    That's a very complex topic, one I'm very interested in, yet still don't fully understand. There are so. many. factors. involved that could potentially contribute to a person's sexuality, not limited to just environmental and biological ones, but usually one of many combinations of the above.

    You have gay men who will swear they were attracted to women before, others who are still attracted to women as an exception here and there, some who were involved with the opposite sex extensively yet felt something was missing, and yet more known are those who are repulsed by anything related to women physically, or at the very least, not interested at all. These examples are *very* distinct, and an umbrella term like 'gay' really does no justice in describing the sheer diversity of sexual attraction and expression of those who identify with it.

    Human sexuality is largely tied to the mind and the brain, again, very complex subjects to fully understand. You can't figure these things out with a quick and easy formula, and to be quite honest, I'm not even sure we'll ever decide on some absolute truth involving them. From my point of view, it makes many hard sciences look like cakewalk.

    Circumstantial homosexuality - there are cases where straight men have had to resort to sex with another man when there is a lack of heterosexual options. Perhaps your case was something of an inverse; you were unaware of the other options available, so was able to make do with what you had. Though, an erection alone is hardly anything to go by, especially for young men, who can be 'turned on' by a gust of wind on a cold day.

    I don't know. Sexuality is definitely not static or easily explained by a few square boxes, and unfortunately, in our society people are too quick to label and classify others into narrow categories. As helpful as labels can be, they're also limiting, and I hate them for that. Who is to say you're not actually bisexual or straight or something else? Who is to say you were ever? Who is to say you'll never be attracted to a woman or women ever again? Since we can never be 100% sure of anything, we go by enough to convince us that we're actually correct in our judgments.

    I think orientation can and does change for many people. Some would argue you were gay all along, while others would say your sexuality shifted. But even if you were gay all along, couldn't we say your sexuality still manifested in different ways? Now I'm interested in reading up on erotic plasticity again...
     
  5. jargon

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    I'd say it shifts a little for a lot of people, but a lot (like in OP's case) only rarely. And certainly less so after you've ended adolescence.
     
  6. Tightrope

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    This is a very detailed post. There's a lot here. I think that it can shift, but in a lot of cases, it doesn't. Therefore, the fluidity may not be as fluid as people think once they settle into a behavioral pattern. Then again, some major events could make it shift. It's not possible to know.

    About the ability to at least sexually perform, especially when younger, I've heard the term "horny as a billy goat." For some people, that instant arousal remains, and for others it dwindles. Notice how it's teens and twenty-somethings who worry about becoming aroused at the wrong time (and I had the same concern). However, time usually causes people to have a better grip on this. If I said grip or handle, someone will still construe this the wrong way, so maybe manage is a better term.
     
  7. justjade

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    Mine changed. I went through a phase where I was bi, being more interested in females, but now I'm more into guys. In fact, I'm pretty exclusively interested in men. I also used to really like skinny guys, but now I like them bigger. I used to like younger guys, but I think that's more of a fetish than something I want in an actual relationship. A lot of it has just been part of growing up and realizing that I was just being shallow with some of my expectations, though. I can't speak for everyone.
     
  8. EscapeArtist

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    I believe it evolves along with you (hopefully) as you grow into an adult. In my case I was a repressed lesbian claiming the bisexual title for nearly a decade before finally coming clean to myself and others. I believe the journey itself is variable but once you find yourself-it generally stays. If it doesn't-perhaps its a different issue altogether.

    Be well.
     
  9. Ettina

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    My orientation hasn't changed, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility.