All my family's in town for my cousin and my open houses, so my aunt announces on Facebook that my crackhead cousin is having her baby shower the same day. WHAT!?! YOU MEAN SHE DIDN'T LEARN THE FIRST TIME!?!? Four years ago, my cousin got knocked up by God-knows-who and kept doing coke and heroin the entire pregnancy, and lo-and-behold, the baby was stillborn. So now that Ms. Sperm Dumpster is pregnant again, everybody in my family is dancing in the streets. :bang: Does nobody realize the conditions that child is going to be living in? My aunt lives in her own episode of Hoarders, not to mention her house sports black mold. The child will be splitting time between crackhouses, the streets of the most dangerous city in America, and a disgustingly dirty and unsafe house. Also, the child is going to be named "Jaxon." a hundred bucks says the child will be biracial. (rolls eyes) Seriously, you should have to have a license to have a child. And if you're a crack whore or can't afford a child, then for :***:'s sake, get a :***:ing abortion! Another hundred bucks says she only got pregnant for a bigger welfare check.
