Why do people think we chose to be gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender??

Because they're naïve.

 

Because they don't understand naturally being attracted to the same sex.

 

Because they're stupid. That's the only reason I can come up with. Through simple deduction they can tell they don't/can't choose their sexual orientation (tell them to be gay for a day). Unless they're bi/pansexual, which they can control it to some extent (e.g. ignore all their crushes until the crush is of the opposite gender).

 

Because for some stupid reason, they're scared, and they want someone to blame rather than just accepting that there is no one to blame.

 

This and because in certain areas, some teens used to come out as bisexuals to avoid coming out as gay.

 

Nah. They can make up stupid excuses, or they might have even been confused themselves. Tell them to go gay.

 

They think it's a lifestyle choice because they believe it is a hedonistic (read Satan) and sinful (therefore fun-can't have any of THAT!) self-indulgence and is part of a sick sexual fantasy (which they, no doubt, have indulged in their minds (and in real life) more often than they care to admit).

 

It should. However, some people are just so obstinate in their beliefs, wheter it be about sexuality or something else, that they'll always manage a feat of mental gymnastics to twist things according to their personal beliefs.
For example your aunt might say yes.
Or she might say heterosexuality is an innate sexuality and homosexuality is a pretent sexuality.

 

Usually they just say, "No." and look at you like this because they can't piece together the fact that they just went against their argument so they think they're clearly superior and that they rest their case.

 

any excuse to ostracise "the other"

 

I think this is probably the main reason why cishet people believe being queer is a choice. It fits within their framework of casting us as the deviant other.

It's worth noting that there is a contingent of the LBGTQ community that believes there is a component of choice to sexuality and gender (I'm part of it), or at least that we aren't necessarily "born this way." However, these arguments are usually of a completely different nature to those of cishets.

 

I think a lot of people think LGTB is defined by behavior, rather than feelings. You certainly can choose who you have sex with or form a relationship with, or whether you take hormones and undergo surgery and ask people to use a different name & pronouns. But most people don't seem to get that LGTB behavior comes out of LGTB feelings. It's like they can't imagine feeling that way, so they assume no one does. (Which would be as silly as if I refused to believe that sexual attraction exists.)

 

Indeed. Many people seem to think sexuality is a behaviour or lifestyle, while it's merely an attraction.

 

This is correct for many people.

You don't choose who you're attracted to. When I was about 10 or so and went to the movies and saw a dark, classically handsome, (don't know how tall), leading man and got hot and bothered by it, I had no choice or control over that. Yeah, I got hot over it. I also was bothered because it was confusing, not supposed to happen, and I was very careful not to look at guys like that IRL for a split second longer than I needed to. Choice, my ass.

Why do PEOPLE think it's a choice? Because exclusive heterosexuals haven't experienced other forms of attraction and can't relate. For them to behave sexually in a not heteronormative way WOULD be a choice, so they project that. But Kinsey came up with the 37% experimented until orgasm figure for men, so I think many are just knotted up over the issue and some things they might have done when younger.

 

It is misconception. I was shocked when my mother said that she thought lesbians were women who tried to act like a man.

I like the idea of telling them to try to be gay for a day.

 

I had a theory on why my mother or aunt, etc. wouldn't believe same sex attraction exists even if I explained it to them. It's because they haven't experienced attraction (of any kind) in their whole life. And I was right.

I asked them today how they knew if that's the man they wanted to live their life with and what they based it on. Both of them said looks are important to a certain degree and after that it's how they get on with them and the things they have in common. I was like :eek:. That is what they base their whole future on. Not attraction. It all comes down to if they think that the man is as good as they can get. Then they get married and have children because that's what you do.

Is it even possible to explain genuine attraction to people like that?

 

No, because they will say ''yes, I chose to be straight''. And they will believe it because they are not attracted to the same sex and they think that it's because they chose it.

They also probably think that they chose to prefer chocolate over shit.