1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

OMG! I just realized...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Envira, Jun 23, 2013.

  1. Envira

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    So since I started questioning myself and then came to the conclusion that I'm somewhere between bi and lesbian, I've never really asked myself the question:

    "When was the first time that I had feelings for a girl?"

    or

    "When was my first lesbian experience?"

    And I just realized. It was in first grade. With a girl named Natalie. We used to pretend that we were a couple. She was the guy and I was the girl. Always. It never changed. Every day, during recess, we would run out to the play ground and we would go over the same scene. She would get down on her knees and propose to me, and then we would get married. And of course, with marriage comes that time to kiss the bride, so we would pretend to french.

    And I remember getting flutters in my stomach. You know those flutters that you get when your crush talks to you or gives you a hug? That happened every single day. And I remember actually wanting to kiss her. I mean, I was six, and it was pretty much a "princess dream" and naive and stupid. And of course, it was never going to happen.

    But I can't help but think that it was the first time that I had feelings for a girl. I mean, I didn't think anything of it at the time (I don't even think I knew that being gay existed), but now I think that I actually liked her. There were so many other indications of it.

    I felt like I had to tell someone about this. It doesn't really seem that important, but I feel like those were pretty sentimental moments.

    So, with that, any comments?

    And just out of curiosity:

    What was your first gay experience or when was the first time you had feelings for someone of the same gender?
     
  2. Randy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,784
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No judgement please...and no one think I'm weird. But this is a little bad, I don't know why I did it. I guess I was curious xD

    but...

    I did suck off my little brother.
     
  3. Envira

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm not going to comment on that.... :/
     
  4. ChromeNerd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I don't really remember it well, but I did have a crush on a girl when I was five. I remember that I liked her. According to my parents I chased her around and pulled her hair. I also remember having a crush on a girl when I was eight and nine. I used to chase her around everywhere. She didn't even like me back as a friend. :frowning2:
     
  5. Randy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,784
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I know right? it's pretty bad and I feel horrible. I wish I could take it back.
     
  6. Envira

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Has he ever brought it up? I mean, you could always apologize and say that you didn't know you were thinking or whatnot...

    ---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2013 at 10:58 PM ----------

    That sounds adorable and sad at the same time. lol. ^.^
     
  7. Randy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,784
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I doubt he remembers. I'm just gonna stop right now before this unravels too bad.
     
  8. Envira

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Ok. Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything... :frowning2:
     
  9. Randy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,784
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No, it's fine. I just fear judgement is all... I let fear control what I say, do and think very easily.
     
  10. Candace

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,819
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    I remember when I was in the 3rd grade, and there was this tan kid named Julian. He had a sleeveless shirt. I used to always like looking down his shirt and looking at his nice arms :icon_redf
     
  11. Niko

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2012
    Messages:
    729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    I had a major crush on this boy in the 4th grade. Though I did my best to hide it, out of fear of being judged or made fun of. So I didn't try to do anything to him, but talk to him and stuff. :lol:
     
  12. Envira

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Can I just say...

    We shouldn't have to hide this sort of stuff. Really. We're being told that we have to deny being ourselves until we're older. That's total bs. And the fact that it's assumed that everyone is straight. And being LGBTQ or whatever else is the exception. Wtf? I mean, seriously... :bang:
     
  13. ChromeNerd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    When I was a kid I wasn't aware that my attractions to girls were unusual. I just chased them around and tried to befriend them. I did know a lesbian couple when I was seven. I thought it was super cool that two women could be married to each other instead of having to find a guy to marry. I didn't know what gay meant until I was ten and I didn't start to suspect my sexuality was unusual until I was twelve.
     
    #13 ChromeNerd, Jun 23, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2013
  14. BornInTexas

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2013
    Messages:
    1,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    I didn't really have a crush until seventh grade. Until then, all I would notice was a boy's appearance and say, "he's handsome."

    When I was in seventh grade, the guy I had a crush on was the hottest person I'd ever seen. He was tall, stocky, hairy, and he was generally nice to everyone. He made me feel weak he was so perfect. I had dreams about him and I in a relationship, and whenever I had extra time in each class, I would daydream about him.

    The best time to look at him was at lunch and gym. :icon_redf
     
  15. Envira

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah, that's what it's like for me right now. There are a lot of really hot girls in my grade.
     
  16. Candace

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,819
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    It's a shame that you felt like you had to hide that. :icon_sad:
     
  17. MerBear

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2012
    Messages:
    3,056
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    east coast
    Your experience kind of sounds similar.....i had this crush on this girl rosalyn in 7th grade and before that , well, i dont even know if it was crush but i would get nervous around this girl who was like in her 20's and i was 9,10 or 11 at the time

    her name was brandi
     
  18. SimplyLea

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2013
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    KY
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I was 6 or 7 and it was with a little girl that lived in the neighborhood. We was acting out a scene that was in a movie; kissing and touching.
    It took 30 FREAKING years for me to realize this is what has been wrong in my life this whole time. :frowning2: I have hid it and supressed it for all these years.
     
  19. SecretlyASloth

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2013
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Lol preschool.
    Me and other guys would play like games where we'd pretend we're heroes doing random stuff. One day we were hanging off the side of the play structure thingy pretending like we were above a volcano, using our strength to hold on. And I'd always be like "OK guys, we're hanging above the lava...SHIRTLESS!"
    other kid: "Why are we shirtless!"
    Me: "IT CAME TO ME IN NAP TIME JOHNNY I CAN'T BE WRONG SO WE'RE SHIRTLESS."
    the more I remember myself as a kid the more I realize I was pretty darn outrageous.
     
  20. Leutheria

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    OH. In second grade I really, really wanted to be this girl's friend... I met her one day and as soon as I saw her I was like, I'm going to be her best friend because she's so pretty. I would get jealous if she talked to other girls - it was actually sort of creepy now that I think about it - and when she complimented me I got this tingly feeling.

    Lawls, I tried so hard to forget that.

    Niice.