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Should I go to pride alone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Beware Of You, Jun 25, 2013.

  1. Beware Of You

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    Pride is coming up, people are asking if I am going, but I am not sure if I want to go with my boyfriend being abroad until July. Also I don't know if I would go with him anyway
     
  2. Hefiel

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    If you've never been to one, I'd suggest you force yourself to go whether you're alone or with someone else. The only reason I say "force yourself to go" is because you've been rather down lately and really hesitant to accept being gay and all. Just go for fun, you might not like it, or you might like it, but at least try and see how it goes.
     
  3. Lexington

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    I'd suggest going alone as well, with the following two caveats.

    1. Some closeted or freshly-out folks go to Pride fests hoping to meet people. And that's fine, as long as you do all the initiating. Don't expect people to come up and start conversations with you. It certainly CAN happen, but if it doesn't, it doesn't mean gay people are "exclusive" or snobs or anything else.

    2. Keep this in mind - you're going to a party. When gay people celebrate the whole "being gay" thing. This isn't a time to put on our best behavior, or try to look good so the straights can accept us, or anything. You'll see a bunch of people in a variety of guises, and some of them will be in full-party mode. Don't get the idea that "all gays are frivolous and party animals" from this. That's like going to a kegger and leaving thinking "All straight people are frivolous and party animals". It's a party. Expect party-like behavior from a good chunk of the people. :slight_smile:

    That said, go have a good time. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  4. Rakkaus

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    Heh there's been about a million threads like this this month from people worried about possibly going to Pride events by themselves, including one by me. :astonished:

    If you want to go, don't let the idea of going alone dissuade you from going. I went alone, and so did a lot of people. Just go there, try to have a good time, and if you don't like it, you can just leave.

    If you didn't want to go anyway, then of course don't go.

    Think about what your reasons for going would be and compare that to your reasons for not going.
     
  5. Beware Of You

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    My therapist also wants me to go, but I am not sure if I would like it thats all.

    Lex thats the problem, I am really shy thats why I don't think I would like it. All my hookups etc. have all been initiated by others.
     
  6. Lexington

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    The thing is - I don't have any trouble going to Pride alone. Not because I'm really confident and love reaching out to people, but because there's just a lot to see. It's fun just to go and take it all in. And there's nothing wrong with going and simply taking it all in, and not talking to anybody if you don't want to. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  7. Rakkaus

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    Is your therapist going to Pride? Maybe you can meet up with him. My therapist was also the one who convinced me to ultimately go.

    Or is there an LGBT center that is going to be involved in the event, you can maybe contact and get involved with them to at least know some people before you go to Pride.

    Following I guess on Lex's point, I'm super-shy, I didn't really meet or talk to any new people at my Pride event...I basically just wandered around taking in the sights and things, like vendors selling rainbow gear and giving out lots of free condoms and a music show going on, and when I got tired of that, I left. You don't have to be with other people to have a good time at a Pride event.
     
  8. Hefiel

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    You won't know if you will like it or not unless you go, provided of course that you go there with an open mind. If you go there telling yourself "I'm going to hate it, I'm going to hate it." well you probably aren't going to be enjoying yourself over there. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    As far as being shy, I'm like that too and I have trust issues as well, but I'll still be going (alone). I've never been to Pride so I want to see what it's like with my own eyes. If I end up not liking it, then so be it and I just won't go next year. At least I'll know though.
     
  9. Beware Of You

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    No she isn't.

    I guess I just don't really fancy it on my own. If I go I will probably stay 15 mins and then disappear
     
  10. Rakkaus

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    Well you don't know if you'll fancy it on your own, unless you give it a try. :icon_wink

    What are you worried will happen if you go alone? A lot of people will be there alone just like you, you wouldn't stand out as odd or anything.
     
  11. BornInTexas

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    Even if you do that, you still went, right? :slight_smile:
     
  12. Beware Of You

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    Sort of a waste of time
     
  13. BudderMC

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    And what are you going to do with that time that's less of a waste? The fact that you're even considering going to Pride means you don't entirely think it's a waste - otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

    You can always make goals for yourself. "If I go to Pride for at least an hour, that'll be good." "If I go to Pride and strike up conversation with at least 5 people, that'll be good."

    You seem to think it could possibly be a good idea, and are looking for someone to push you out the door. We're that "push" - so go give it a shot. :slight_smile:
     
  14. Beware Of You

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    I don't like looking like the loner. Pride is practically a party, who goes to a party and doesn't know anyone? Everyone will know anyone
     
  15. BudderMC

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    You do realize you just inferred that everyone at Pride will know someone else. I think the multitude of other "going to Pride by myself" threads on EC should smash that myth. Think about it.

    People come on this forum and always complain about not knowing other LGBT people. We always say to go to LGBT places - it's like the watering hole for queers. And what is Pride? Just about THE BIGGEST LGBT place you could go to.

    If you don't want to be alone, staying home isn't going to fix that.
     
  16. Beware Of You

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    Maybe it is my anxiety, I am just really nervous about this kind of thing.
     
  17. BudderMC

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    Well everyone's nervous - you're certainly not alone there. I've got someone going with me to Pride this year (also my first time) and I'm still terrified.

    But I'm making myself go. It's not at all my scene and I don't think I'll really enjoy it, but with my luck I'll meet someone there who's in the exact same position as I am, and we can become friends over how much we dislike being there.

    I'm going to say I went. Can't knock it 'til I try it, right?
     
  18. Beware Of You

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    I also don't like crowds, the size of the thing is freaking me out
     
  19. BudderMC

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    Have you looked at an itinerary for your local Pride? I know at Toronto Pride they've got little cafes and businesses and stuff set up along the street, probably to help you escape the crowd (and the heat). Crowds aren't really my thing either, so I'm probably just gonna hang out in little nooks most of the time.
     
  20. Dublin Boy

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    As you know Fella, I went on my own & I really enjoyed it, so I would recommend you go :slight_smile: