This is so frustrating

...Okay.

Well neither do we, especially because you haven't given us any information about it.

 

Hi Jay,

So I went ahead and looked at some of your other posts. First I hope you're having an easier time accepting yourself.

Second, just so you are aware, I know you didn't know and don't be embarrassed, but there's a lot of trans people here, and "tranny" is a slur. Also, in case it need saying, real trans people are just ordinary people. Really, you probably walk past some of us without realizing it. Porn paints a really awful picture of women, gay men, trans people... basically that's now how we really are.

Well as far as how to get past anxiety though. Have you thought about just letting yourself think about whatever it is you're scared of thinking about? It's just thoughts in your head.

One way I get past anxiety when it hits is to take a quick fast breath in, hold it for a few seconds, and let it out real slow. Repeat it a few times and just let whatever thought is in your head go away, and focus on what's going on around you.

Do you think you might be worried other people think you're gay? You don't come across that way to me at all.

 

Hey don't worry, I wasn't offended. Just I guess if the roles were reversed I would want someone to say something to me is all. So I went ahead. Really hope I was nice about it and you still feel welcome here because you sure are

But you asked a really good question. What I'm trying to say is kind of hard to describe, but I guess I can talk from some personal experience.

So what seems like forever ago, my first time with a woman... didn't go very well. Not going to go into details, but I thought after it happened I might be into guys. It turns out I'm not, and it was the trans getting in the way, but for a little while it really worried me.

So that's where I kind of empathized with what you're going through. I mean it was really worrying me. I had a lot of anxiety and just did not understand what was going on with me. I mean maybe what you're going through is different, it just sounded a lot like what I was going through right then. I didn't know what was up with me and it was scary is all I'm saying.

So I'm not suggesting you do this, but I went as far as kissing a guy, tried pictures of guys and gay guy porn and erotica... and when it became pretty apparent that I wasn't into men either, it kind of bothered me even more.

But something else happened right around then; just the fact that I wasn't scared to try other hats on made the anxiety go away. And the first time I was able to do some other things with a woman, everything worked just fine and I figured out what the problem was.

So that's what I meant by accepting myself. Just, that whole attitude where whatever I'm into, and whoever I am, it's okay. The second I stopped being afraid of being gay (I still was trying to view myself as a guy) was the second the idea just stopped being able to bother me.

I mean you are probably a straight man. But it sounds like you saw something that wasn't straight, and enjoyed it, and that's kind of scary.

So all I'm saying is, okay. So what, you know. You saw something you liked that was a little weird. But you still like women. So you know, if something else comes up, just maybe kind of trust yourself. Just fly with whatever thought comes in your head, even if it's really weird, and trust that you'll think about the kinds of things you want to think about later.

Hope I'm making sense; it's not a really easy thing to describe. And again I can only talk from my own experience. I just hope it helps a little.

 

I'm thinking it might be a good idea to lay off the porn for a bit.