I have come to a conclusion in my life, I am in control of who knows whether I am Gay, it's on a need to know basis, if I want them to know, then I will tell them, if I don't then I won't tell them, My Mom & my stepdad know, because I let my Mom know, but I don't see why I should tell my Brother, because I can't see how that would impact on his life
Personally, my parents went and told my sister (because "She's a member of the family."), as well as my uncle (that I'm aware of). I'm fine with either, my uncle's daughter (thus my cousin) is a lesbian and he was the one who told my father about it. All in all, it didn't really bother me. I don't know how many and who are aware of it now, so I'm a little curious if only for the sake of knowing, but beyond that it doesn't bother me at all. I'm perfectly fine with people around me knowing.
I'd say it sounds like you are completely in the out and happy stage now, congrats! I found the bit about your brother interesting. Im going to tell my mum soon, when i stop bottling it, but i think id have to tell anyone i spend much time with because i like to speak freely, and not have to consider what i say. Like, i do randomly say "oh hes hot" or get angry at the telly when theres homophobes. I generally cant keep much to myself or dont like to so thats probably just me
Interesting perspective on the subject. Unfortunately, I find almost no one on a need to know basis. But that doesn't mean I haven't told anyone. The only reason I've told my brother is because I let the universe run it's course and well he's my closest brother. I've been contemplating letting my mom know, but I don't know. She'll find out someday or just not at all. I'm more of a let the universe run it's course kind of guy. If I get to the point where I am 100% done with her, then I'll tell her. But as it stands right now, I'm about 75% done with her. In the meantime, I'll leave subtle hints.
It is not about the impact that will have on your brother, but the impact it can have on your life. Coming out is not just about making people aware of the fact that we are gay, but about the fact of our knowledge and fully accept ourselves. Now, if you don't want to say to your brother you're gay, but you have no problem in having a relationship with a person and that he knows, I do not see the problem. But, if you don't want to tell, and besides, you hide it from your brother, my question is, what is it that makes you afraid to tell your brother you're gay? In my personal experience, I did not see it necessary to tell my father, given that he found me in bed with a man, but still, I was embarrassed to tell him. At the suggestion of my therapist, I openly told my father and now I feel complete, without shame or remorse. Cheers!
