Estrogen pills???

I have been on HRT for two months (contrary to what my stupid ticker says, it doesn't update, deerp) and I have noticed:

Breast growth. It starts out subtle but for me it started getting interesting around one month. I am still like reaally small (32 AA, lolz) but things are still growing. Right now there is a hard approx golf ball sized lump behind each nipple. It isn't quuite painful but if I do something to bump it, yes, there is pain. Oooh, I also lactated (or produced colostrum) for a bit, soo, yeah, lolz, tmi...

Body hair reduction. I really can't attest to this as well as some cuz I had like very, very feminine body hair already. ZERO on my torso practically. And it was mostly quite thin and quite fine. That being said, recently I have noticed even THAT diminish and many hairs that are left are coming in extremely slowly and totally translucent.

Skin softening. Juuust starting to notice this which is fun. I mean my skin was preeetty soft before but still. Right now the biggest place is my left upper arm. I noticed it there and then it was weird. I looked it up and it was like that's where it starts with EVERYONE. Particularly the left one too. Weeeird! It's spreading though it seems, but it is still patchy (some areas waaay soft, others not so soft).

This is something I don't like to talk about as it is dysphoria triggering but will mention briefly: everything that started out very small is so small it's bordering on ambiguous now and whatever functionality it had before (not a whole lot) is almost gone and experiments conclusively show that it is now producing almost NOTHING (errrggh....I feel gross now).

Face is getting rounder according not only to myself but to others around me. My mother keeps talking about how full my cheeks are getting and says my jaw is getting a bit softer (from fat going there) which is pretty keeewl.

Can't say that I've noticed any fat redistribution in my body. Hmm, I dunno, maybe a little in the patooty? That could be from gaining weight, so not sure. I don't have much to move around though (I am veeerry thin).

I absolutely can NOT speak to loss of muscle mass cuz I had none before. Like ZERO. But if I WERE to lose any that would not happen for a while, soo.

That is about it so far in terms of physical effects. Hopefully things will start getting REAAL interesting in the next few months. Here are some pix of me from my album so you can see what I look like on HRT:

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/members/30562-albums4876.html

Also, the emotional effect that was most noticable was from placebo and that was instantaneous: mind numbing joy to finally be on this path! I literally jumped up and down, lolz! This intensifies as the hormones start to take effect and has left me feeling happy for no reason sometimes, but also extremely irritable and caaraabby others. The moodiness is a biatch. Sometimes I get down (not even close to as much as before) but that is from dysphoria not the pills (sometimes I really get down that things aren't happening at the speed I want them to, but a BIG thing to remember is these things take time).

Also, you can expect a DEFINITE change in your appetite. I eat thousands and thousands of calories some days and STILL feel hungry when I go to bed. I topped myself at 4,300 one day O.O It's sorta crazy! And tiredness, but this is wearing off for me.

Other than that, that's about it. I know there are other transgirls on here deeper in then me, so hopefully they chime in. Also, my dosages are:

4mg/d Estrofem, 200mg/d Spironolactone.

Anyway, best of luuuck! <3<3 XOXO, and all that nice SHTUFF.

---------- Post added 27th Jun 2013 at 10:19 PM ----------

Wowzie, wowzers. That was long.

^Big. fucking. BABBLE mouth.

---------- Post added 27th Jun 2013 at 10:35 PM ----------

I am sorry, I know I have talked enough but I just need to add oooone more thing, cuz writing all this made me think. Transition really is a beautiful journey. I know that for myself I am very often of cisgirls cuz I feel like they have so much I can't ever have (like getting pregnant, that's something I wish I could do, but of course there are sterile women) and how lucky they were to be born with the right parts, but now that I think, there is also something to be said for this experience and it is something cisgirls can never know.

It's transformative. It is like starting out as a catepillar and turning into a butterfly, and I see sooo many beautiful, smart, funny transwomen who that analogy is soo true of. It really is truly amazing to start out as one person who everyone thinks you are, and then to begin this journey and slowly, slowly become the person you were always meant to be. It is beautiful because it is the greatest change a person can undergo, and change is always beautiful (and like all changes, bittersweet).

I feel as though I am changing in my view of being transgender. I always saw it as something unfortunate, and often wished I was born with all the right parts like cisgirls. But now I see it as somewhat of a journey, a spiritual journey, and even though I am early on in mine and still have a looong way to go and a lot of work to do, I can appreciate that perspective now. I am sooo looking forward to what the future has in store, and excited to become who I have always been inside.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that, cuz it was on my mind and I wanted to get it out <3

 

Sage, I do that ALL the time. Some transgirl will say something and I'll be all like "Hey, stop, that's exactly how I feel, quit stealing my emotions!". I think it is just such a common experience we all share.

And, umm, okay, so lemme first say I get reaaally dysphoric about that topic that I can hardly talk about it, I am like soooo awkward about it and if you know me then you know I am not awkward about anything, just the opposite (grrr I really can't wait for SRS). But I would say no, I haven't lost my libido. I haven't really noticed a change at all actually. I have always had I believe a more female like libido cuz I always said I dominated my libido, it didn't dominate me. Like, it was never easy to get me turned on and that hasn't changed. I like guys, really, I think they are quite lovely but I never had a problem with being turned on against my will, not EVER. And sex? I guess it was just never really important to me, really, at all.

That being said....orgasms are better. I really can't explain it but they are better and seem to last longer, mebbe? I dunno. I don't really know how or why but it is. And it's nice cuz I don't really require...ahem....blood flow, deerp, if you know what I mean to orgasm (I didn't before HRT actually but it feels more natural now) and that is now actually quite painful and uncomfortable if it happens (not very often and doesn't, deeerp, go very far if you catch). It's also nice that there aren't any....ewww....you know, grr, fluids, no more of that.

Omg, feeling dysphoric now XD I apologize for my awkwardness, I just....grrr, really can't wait for SRS XD

I am glad you have that perspective. I have found it's a much lovlier way to view transition. I am an atheist, but I am also very spiritual, and I believe this has only deepened that inner spirituality. It is a very amazing experience, and even though I still have my days where I just plain wish I was a cisgirl, I am learning to love the life I have been given <3

 

My libido is veeerry tame, lolz. I can go for weeks, months even, lolz XD

And thank you, you are very kind XD <3 also, I wouldn't worry tooo much about being a little overweight, cuz a LOT of this is about fat, so if you have some to work with it def helps (like boobs, they're just fat, that's what they are). I will say though, after being on E for a little while, it will make it harder to lose weight and easier to gain. I know that sucks, but that's just the breaks when it comes to bein' a girl XD

But yeah HRT will change juuust about everything and if you start young (how old are you btw?) you can generally expect good results <3

And I hope everything goes well! It usually takes a good few months evaluation before you get a prescription, but just be patient (I know it's hard). And be patient on the HRT, as well (again, I know it's hard but you probably won't start seeing yourself until like month 4 or so, and not reaaallly until about a year).

 

It is good you are starting young and i think you will have reaaally nice results then <3 and i have been on hormones for about 2 months which isn't that long.

as for what weight you want to get to that is totally up to you. 215 could be totally fine depending on your height and no harm in a little extra

also, like i said it will probably be a few months evaluation before your doctor writes the recommendation to the endo, but after he or she does that when you start is up to you. you want to stop the damage testosterone is doing as soon as you can, so i would say at least try to get on an anti-androgen asap.

also, yes you will lose weight from muscle loss but that can take a longer amount of time to start happening.

 

Well you need a prescription for the anti-androgens as well but glad you got your referral and hopefully you can get started reaaal soon <3

and 6'2 is tall but not unnaturally so. i am just about 6 ft so i am pretty tall as well but most guys who i have talked to so far find that quite sexy i also know a couple ciswomen who are a good bit taller than me so they must be about your height (also alec baldwin's daughter is 6'2 like you and shes a model).

But yes! I would love to see photographs if you care to put some in your album <3

 

Hi i don't see them. Could you post the link? Maybe they weren't moderated yet..

 

Omg you look great! you are already quite feminine. you will pass just fine i think!

 

I think you are fine but, even though bone structure won't change, fat will redistribute making your form more feminine looking.

 

Omg thanks! You are too sweet <3 how is everything going?

 

I really like this picture. It is so cute. It is like you have that coy, you know you want me thing going on.