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Do you care about what people think of you?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Diego89, Jun 28, 2013.

  1. Diego89

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    Its probably a stupid question, but as much as I would like to say that I don't give a crap I'm afraid im very far from it. I know it's a lot to do with self esteem but I also think that the need of social approval is at some extent inherent to the human nature.

    So I suppose its natural unless it gets to the point that it starts to affect your lifestyle or stoping you from doing things, like coming out (me), but is it really possible to get to a point where you couldn't care less about what others make of you? Tell me how!
     
  2. Randy

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    On the surface, I like to seem strong and have a strong outer shell. But on the inside, I'm soft, fluffy, incredibly vunerable and ultimately DO care what people think of me
     
  3. AlamoCity

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    I unfortunately am also like this (*hug*).
     
  4. MerBear

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    sometimes, i have to
     
  5. mickey1101

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    I relate completely this is me :/
     
  6. Tightrope

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    Less and less, unless it has a direct impact on my paycheck. I've actually not given a rip for a long time and have always had a huge independent streak, with which I've gotten too comfortable.
     
  7. arturoenrico

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    I do care which is why, unfortunately, I've pretended to be straight for more than 25 years and got married and moved to normal suburban town with normal neteroseuxal people. So now I'm trying not to care but it is so hard to build a new self based on authenticity.
     
  8. Xochipilli

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    I do! I find myself wondering what my coworkers think about me all the time. Like how they perceive my actions and what I say.

    I never thought about an inherent need for societal approval, but I know if my self esteem were higher I'd be in a much better spot. And I'm working on it. :grin:

    So to not really answer your question, because I never have answers ( *_*), maybe a baby step approach is better for you. Work on being completely cool with yourself for now and perhaps the rest will follow...
     
  9. BreannaToBrian

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    Nope. I'm care-free on what I feel about what other people think of me. Any negative opinion of me annoys me more then it hurts, really.
     
  10. Foxface

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    If I am being honest...yes...I do care what others think of me. I try not to but I can't help it

    I am getting 'better' at it...but I still have a long way to go

    Foxface
     
  11. AKTodd

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    I grew up in Alaska and Alaskan are a pretty independent minded bunch in their own way. My family was pretty independent and out there even by Alaskan standards. I was something of a social outcast in grade and high school and actively resisted a lot of pressure from my peers and local adults to do stuff I didn't want to do (hunt, fish, go snowmobiling, and play basketball on the local HS team mainly). Been not terribly impressed with social expectations from a young age. Became an atheist at a young age.

    I was raised to believe that I should do what makes me happy regardless of whether or not anyone (including my family) approved of it.

    Basically, a lot of the social conditioning that people seem to struggle with either wasn't there or had been defeated way before I ever got around to figuring out I was into guys.

    So, I'm not sure I can offer specific techniques since my situation was based a lot on experience. But..

    Something my mom used to ask me when I was stressing out over some situation and the whole 'but what if bad thing X happens?':

    Mom: So, let's say bad thing X happens. Could you live with that?

    Me: Well...yeah. I wouldn't like it, but it wouldn't kill me.

    Mom: Ok, then.

    It also helps that by this point in my life, I have enough experience and success in my endeavors to largely not give a crap what most people think. If someone doesn't want to associate with me for my beliefs or because I'm gay or whatever, that would be their loss, not mine.:thumbsup:

    My 2c worth,

    Todd
     
  12. Tightrope

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    There are some expectations in certain places whereby people just can't fathom why you wouldn't want to partake. In some parts of Canada, the expectation might be that you play hockey. It's actually like some people run their lives by checklists.

    I didn't conform to what I should have done at various stages of life. I think that both I, and all people who resist being shoehorned, don't care what people think, or we would find a way to tow the line. At the same time, we do care to some extent because we don't understand why other people's approval is so dependent on conformity. But as time marches on, the latter type of approval seemingly becomes less important.
     
  13. RedMage

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    I am kind of weird when it comes to this, on some days I feel so self-conscious of every single thing I do in public. From how I walk to if my face is red (from the heat or blushing) and so forth. But then there are some days where I just say screw it, why bother if someone cares if my jeans are slightly rolled up because it's raining or that I might be doing something differently.
     
  14. srslywtf

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    Like ^

    Most of the time/most things I'm like "dont give a shit what you think"

    But once I get something stuck in my head, I'm terrified.
     
  15. nicecoolguy

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    Yes, in the sense that I want people to see my good qualities, and I want to be liked. But I don't let it consume me, and I am a confident person.
     
  16. Oxelotl

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    I am probably terrified more than anything of people judging me negatively and every single thing I do (even if people are around or not) I judge and think about how people would think. Even if they would never know. It's rather annoying if I'm honest.
     
  17. ForgottenRose

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    ME!
    I pretend not to care, but I care waaaay too much.
     
  18. Kamina

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    Try as I may not to I do care and people know I care. Certain people it doesn't bother me as much because I don't like/respect them or value their opinion but the people I like/care about it troubles me deeply. I also care a lot about stranger's opinions of me, which is weird especially if I'm never, ever probably going to have a conversation with them :/
     
  19. justjade

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    It depends. If it's just a random stranger, I don't give a shit. However, I tend to tread lightly around my family.
     
  20. Boyfriend

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    What they think, comes mostly from their background even state of mind AT THAT MOMENT sometimes, which can be caused by many things that have absolutely nothing to do with me or the situation we are in at that time. People might think the oposite the next day...
    So I don´t really care.

    If it´s about my behavior, I check if there might be truth in what they say. (Meaning I ask my parents LOL)

    But I must say that people hardly ever comment on me.

    I´m a mechanic. That seems to make me sort of invisible...