Should Bisexuality be the new "Normal"?

Where does there have to be a normal? Why can't we just have a 'love'?

 

I don't understand what you mean. Can you clarify?

 

I'm only going to touch one aspect of the OP, and that is the friendliness or being amenable to being friends. Looking back at my history with people, heteros I didn't resonate with because they suspected something was up or didn't have interests in common have been the least friendly. I have met a few gays and lesbians who did not take to me and for whom a friendship almost seemed conditioned on me having a different point of view or vibe. (For some reason, this has been less of a case with lesbian women, which surprises me). With that, I will say that people who were openly bisexual, of which I only knew a few, or people who I later discovered to be bisexual, readily made themselves available to me in a friendly way. And this would have been teenage years, college years, and late 20s, so they could have been BUG (bisexual until graduation), since some of them got married. Basically, these people just struck up conversations with me, either had a worldliness about them or were sort of goofy/happy go lucky, and, last but not least, insinuated interest in doing something, which did not take place. In retrospect, I wish I had consented to it in a couple of these cases.

Again, the whole diatribe above was about my personal experiences in friendships, and not about the "new normal." I prefer to think there is no such thing as normal.

 

To make such a statement here could be perceived as bigotry. People are attracted to who they are attracted. Yes I've met certain groups and individuals that are exclusive. I've also met bisexuals that will only date other bisexuals. They have made a personal preference choice. Making sweeping generalities often gets a person in trouble.

 

I dunno.. I think it's normal to be who you are.

 

Do you mean like instead of most people assuming people are heterosexual they instead assume most people to be bisexual? If thats what you are saying then I see what you mean because people wouldnt judge someone for being in relationships with the same gender. The only problem with that is that people might judge people that are only attracted to one gender. People will always be judgemental. Can't win :/

 

I think variety should be the new normal; i.e. we should expect everyone to have a slightly different or unique orientation.

 

I do think bisexual attraction is far more common than straight and gay society would have you believe, but I'm not sure if you're likely to see anyone rushing over to embrace the B anytime soon. We still have a very black-and-white view of sexuality, and much like homosexuality was thought to be a curse, a disorder, or perversion decades ago, today we have those outright denying the possibility of sexuality not being completely one way or another. A person doesn't have much to gain by adopting the label and the identity, and even bisexuals themselves downplay their attractions or choose to identify as something else, entirely.

I went through questioning, asked myself, "Am I gay in-denial?" It's supposedly common for closeted gay men to think bisexuality is the better alternative, while closeted bisexual men would rather be one or the other: 100% or 100% gay, at least according to one member. I even came out to my parents as "I think I'm gay, maybe. Still questioning". Felt out of place on EC, found myself thinking of female crushes and sexual interests, trying not to cross the boundaries and become too friendly with the female members. Tried identifying as "gay", but it didn't feel right, at all. Everyone, gay and straight, told me I sounded straight, possibly bisexual, but I would not accept those answers; they were my worst fears come true.

When the porn was gone and the smoke was cleared, I found peace in these terms; they stopped the barrage of questioning, even if temporarily. Ironically, I don't feel welcomed and accepted much from many LGBT circles, and have had an easier time relating to heterosexuals lately. I'm okay with a few grey areas, won't let them ruin me and flip my life upside down on a whim. If it turns out I'm wrong a few years down the road, I'll take it as it comes, but right now, I'm okay being seen as a straight man. I haven't felt any interest in women completely disappear or that in men increase, though I have become a lot more sure and accepting of both.

I'm not opposed to being "friendly" with a gay man, but a long term relationship is a bit of a stretch. Hey, it could happen with close friends, I suppose?

 

Bisexuals are the "most sociable"? What does that mean?

And bisexuals can be just as exclusive in terms of relationships as anyone else.

 

This. 100%. Why does there have to be a "normal"? Hasn't that already defined lines that, when crossed, seem to make people angry and hateful?

 

I reckon that a genderblind society would be the best normal. That doesn't mean everyone being bi, it means that whilst people are straight and gay and bi and ace, nobody think about the gender of their potential partner(s), just whether they are attracted to them. Being solely attracted to the opposite gender would indeed still make you heterosexual and so on, but nobody would notice or care.

On a practical level, though, I don't think a genderblind society would ever happen, for a variety of reasons including that it might not actually work. But hey, I can dream.

I don't think that assuming everyone is bi is much better than assuming everyone is straight, if that's what you meant by the new normal. Assuming that you don't know someone's orientation unless they tell you is surely ideal.

 

I think we need to discard ideas of normal.

 

I completely agree with this! ride:

 

I think that sort of falls along the "everyone's some shade of bisexual" stance, right?

 

^^ This.

 

perhaps neutral is a better way of putting it

---------- Post added 29th Jun 2013 at 08:37 PM ----------

no actually forget i said that

---------- Post added 29th Jun 2013 at 08:38 PM ----------

we've all been a little bi

 

Well, I do think that it would behoove parents to raise their kids without having any expectations regarding their sexual orientation.

 

Please stop. We don't need to act all superior. This is part of why gay and lesbian people hate us.