What makes you Love who you Love?

Well I guess with my girl the first thing is looks, its not normally but seen as I saw her on a bus, didn't know her and was instantly like wow! It must be her looks

But she's really funny and were so like the same and agree on everything and her openess are all what make me think that she's perfect

 

Boobs.

 

I died here....:lol:

 

Lesbian girls are always less judgmental and they are way nicer. The heart wants what the heart wants.

 

It's not something I can change.

 

To be honest, I have a system. It's called the 5 precious stones.

I literally have 5 precious stones and I could take a pic with my blackberry and send post it right now. They are very pretty rear pebbles.

Each of these river stones, I collected all over the country. The toil and trouble to find them, I use to remind me that love isn't easy and VERY hard to find.

Each stone, represents 1 quality that makes up the 5 ultimate qualities I would wish for in a man. And the truth is, I never get into a relationship(or stay in one for that matter) unless my guy shows he has all of these qualities.
And I have them written down for reinforcement:
1. 3D health. (Let me explain)
I need a man who's healthy. Not a supermodel stud but a guy who's...healthy and takes pride in himself. 3 dimensional health, as according to business philosopher, Jim Rohn, is the act of one taking care of his spiritual, psychological and physical health. Someone who balances all 3 are considered to be 3 dimensional. Most people can be vane, and only look about their physical health. Beating the gym, trying to get those washboard abs and buns of steel. But pay very little attention to their spirituality thus showing a decline in their mental health. Likewise, there are others who put all their "faith" in god and care very little about their bodies. They consume junk by the pile DAILY, and shun the food of life that God had "supposedly" intended for us to eat (and this is something the Jews, Christians, Muslims even Hindi all have in common), instead consuming a list of foods that are unconsidered unclean. This then leads to a decline in physical health, and by extension, psychological health. Then turn to God to miraculously fix all their problems. Separate and apart from the religious nuts, we also have the ones who depend too much on the mind and less of the body and spirit. Every thing must be in black and white and they miss the important things in life. Take Sheldon Cooper of the hit TBS series, Big Bang Theory for instance. A common example of a psychological slave. People who manage to balance all three dimensions of health are usually the happiest and most favourable persons to be around.

2. Loyalty
Now, please don't construed loyalty for faithfulness. As Steve Harvey mentioned in his Best Selling book ,Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, "Humans are humans and people slip up and cheat all the time. It's not that they don't love you...its just human nature to make mistakes." And i'm cool with that! But I need a man who will not make a fool out of me. Who will tell me on the first date if he is involved with other guys. Who, if we are together and I say dinner at 8 he will be there at 8! And if his friends attack me at the Christmas eve dinner party because of something I mistakenly said, he will be on my side...always! Loyalty in a relationship isn't real if you're only Loyal when things are going good. I want someone to always be by my side. Even if he cheats now and then, I must believe and always be fully convinced he is mine and I am number 1 and what we have can build an empire! That's loyalty.

3. Honesty
Let me be honest with you. I have told my fare share of lies in the past. As I was clinically diagnosed with DID (multiple personality disorder). Now, if it's one thing i'm certain: is that lying is illogical and unhelpful. I am not the type to be up into anyone's grill asking them where they are and what they are doing 8 times a day! But lying by omittion (which is an admissible form of lying by the US court of Law, look it up) is a no no for me. Don't wait till 7 months down the line, i'm just hearing you have kids. Or Don't take me out to dinner and its when the check comes you're gonna remember you left your wallet at home. <.< Don't have a fling with your best friend and let be find out by accident and don't lie to me to protect me if I confront you about anything. That's just it. If I don't think your'e honest I can't trust you and we can't be together. Full stop

4. Generosity
This speaks for itself as I don't like mean people overall. Even if he is kind to me but means to others, it's a huge turn off. I don't like it. I am a black diva. And you wanna know how intelligent black people make their way through life? Favours. The collect them, trade them, bank them and count them like money. Why do you think they call Jay-Z the "black jesus"? How do you think Obama won his election? Why do you think we are the first minority, to stand up to the whites and succeeded without starting a god damn revolution? Especially for someone like myself where (idk if it's by chance or by preference...i'm still trying to figure that one out), i've never dated someone of my own race, he needs to understand that giving should not be done with the expectation of receiving but favours require other favours. And that goes both ways. Eg. You want me to come to dinner with you? I get to order whatever I want. You got me into your tennis club? I'll talk to my dad so he can put in a good word for you with the other partners at his firm. etc. It's nothing personal. It's just who I am and he needs to understand it. But missing a gift on my birthday is not acceptable. That's no favour. That's kindness to your lover right there. I invite you to my family home for dinner and you don't bring a bottle of wine? Don't expect another invitation, buddy. YOU asked ME out, don't expect me to go dutch. That's just mean.

5. Patience
I've been told i'm a very hard guy to please. Though I strongly disagree. Even my own mother says I'm a drama queen and my friends call me a Diva. But you know what? I need a guy who is patient. For patience leads to understanding. My closest male friend (who is straight) said to me once when I was explaining to him about my ex's impatience with me was that "Your'e not hard to please Alex. You and I could be together. * blushed* Unlike many girls I date, you tell guys WHAT you want, WHEN you want it and HOW you want it to be done. Most girls I date are a complete enigma and I have to figure out what they like. That's frustrating..."
And he was right! If I have a phobia for sea water, when we go to the beach and your other friends with their boy friends are making out in the water, don't drag me/annoy me/beg me to go into the water when you KNOW I don't like sea water. And if i'm a vegetarian/lactose intolerant, don't order chicken Parmesan for me and when we go out to dinner just because you wanted some and didn't want to look too greedy to order 2 Entree for yourself and force ME to eat it because it's your money going down the drain... then get angry and impatient with me when I say no...
You know i'm a vegetarian so order the walnut salad already! dang!

 

well first off is looks. Now (I'm not sure what others think) but I don't think he's considered hot by public standards, but something about him I just find so amazing. His smile and stuff.
His personality appeals to me. He's just funny and most of the time just cheerful, always willing to have a laugh. His loyalty is amazing. And we have a lot in common. So yeah. His personality mainnly appeals to me, and his cute looks help.

Oh and he's straight so yay there.

 

And I worked for 2 years as a governess for Mr Rochester and...

OKAY we all read your story, Jane Eyre. :lol:

 

Kindness. Honest kindness.

Not the habitual form of polite pleasantries people develop in their everyday lives.

Real Kindness caught my eye. :redface:

 

He's a good person.... Who struggles with basically everything, and still finds room to love me

 

First off, I think he is good looking. Second, I think that he is funny and has a sense of humor. Third, me and him both love sports. And finally, I think he sort of knows I have a bit of a thing for him, and he's not turned off or anything. It might be because he doesn't care, or because (/wishfulthinking activated) he's waiting form me to tell him I have a crush on him.

 

He is adorable. He kind of looks like Shane Koyczan, except with a more defined goatee and a little more stubble on his neck and face. He is just hairier in general. I think he's sexy... :icon_redf

Sadly, I know not of his personality, but I'll get to work on that...

 

He's so adorable, and affectionate. And he's so protective. And he's so, so cuddly. Even though he's straight, I still wish I could be with him. But not possible. I'll just have to settle with friendship. :tears:

 

I can't put words on love. 'tis impossble. I best explained it in my reply to What Forms a Relationship (or whatever the thread was called)

 

Going to generalise my overall feelings in regards to love and relationships, since at this moment in time I'm rather happily devoid of attraction and I have a sneaky suspicion this thread is not about the love one has for friends and family.

I love who I love because they are who they are. It's a very circular way of putting it, because it's a very circular thing. When I love someone it draws upon various aspects of who they are, each feeding the other. While I may admire the line of their nose or the warmth of their personality it's not those characteristics in isolation that generates feelings of love within me, it's the whole package and how I personally view them.

Love, to me, is quite different from a crush. My personal experience of crushes is that they're very one dimensional, building on a particular aspect that I admire and/or find attractive. For me love (be it admiration or romance based) is something that is built from many strands, not just their personality or looks.

 

I keep asking myself the same question . My boyfriend thinks I am the most handsome man he has ever known. I look at myself and wonder why me? However I look at him and my heart literally does flips. So go figure. But I know when you find someone it is so special.

I have asked him why and he says it is a combination of things. My masculinity really turns him on. I am very straight acting in public and no one would ever know I am gay if they didn't know me personally. It isn't an act it is just me and how I am. He on the other hand is much different than I and I can't stay away from him. I guess the old cliche of opposites attract is true. So again who knows? :badgrin:

 

She's incredibly sweet. She's gentle and affectionate and loving. Her mind works in ways I'll never understand, her imagination is wonderful and she takes me on flights of fantasy. She loves me.

 

You know, I'm not even sure. It just kind of happened. I just saw him, and BOOM! I was like, "Gotta marry this guy!" I just fell for him. maybe it was his maturity and quiet confidence that I was initially attracted to.

 

His blond hair and blue eyes, that's my thing. And his stubborness.)))