why so much hating to say Im gay?

For some, it's because their sexuality is fluid, or they are trying to say that it doesn't define who they are. For me personally, I feel that labels are like sticking yourself in a box and putting a lid on it. I've been confined by closets all my life, I don't want a label now.

I don't think I articulated that very well... sorry, I'm just a bit tired. Maybe I'll come back later and try to explain that better. I'm sure others have much better ways of putting it.

 

Labels can be harmful. They can also be helpful. Mostly, though, people think they have to have a label, when they really don't.

With that said, I like labels for myself. They work for me, and that's the most important thing.

 

Chickenlover has hit the head on the nail quite well. Certainly, I personally, don't like labels because I have two that can really hurt me and that people use to make fun of me. I'm not oh that gay kid or oh that Cerebral Palsy kid. I'm just Randall. This world can be divided into so many categories and within those categories are many people. This creates a sense of elitism, the notion of labels, and that's not right. We're each our own person and should be treated as such.

 

For me, the label "gay" is appropriate because I don't identify any other way. That said, I have issues saying, "I'm gay" to others because of psychological reasons. Usually, it's easier for me to say that I like guys than to say "I AM GAY."

 

Labels work for me because I don't feel constrained by them. I feel comfortable saying that I'm gay. I feel comfortable saying that I'm a guy.

It's easier for me to say that than to say that I enjoy dating and having sex with guys and that I was a male who identifies as a male. As you can see, the latter option is lengthier, and I'd rather save my breath.

Also, I have a fondness for labels... of many things. I like to categorize things.

And as you say later here...

For some, it doesn't matter. For some, it matters, but they don't like or need or want labels. It's quite simple, really. If you like labels and are comfortable with them and aren't constrained by them, they may be useful and helpful to you.

 

Don't worry, you're not offending me! I find it great that you're asking so many questions. What I mean is that we're all just people. You start splitting people up by gender and suddenly there's sexism everywhere. Something that works for cisgendered people is hard on trans* people, things that work for male identifying individuals can be discriminating against females. As for the whole sex issue - well, I know I am attracted to people with certain characteristics, ones that would generally have them labelled as women. I don't need to know they're women to be attracted to them. I fall for a person, not a category. Am I making sense?

Not everyone is born male or female. A lot of people struggle with their gender identity. That's really why gender shouldn't matter. People are just that, people.

---------- Post added 30th Jun 2013 at 08:32 PM ----------

And by the way, this is all my opinion. Feel free to disagree.

 

It is true that everyone isn't the same and people identify in many different ways. This may or may not include using a label to do so. Some people don't feel comfortable using a label, and that is perfectly fine. Honestly, I think that any label you have should be for you, and if you find a label to be too restricting it's perfectly fine to not have one.

Also, I think what Chickenlover meant by saying some people aren't born male or female is that there are people who don't fit in the gender binary. ((Please correct me if I'm wrong about that, I definitely don't want to be putting words into anyone's mouth!))