We live in a world that is constantly changing. Moral values, priorities, methods of doing our most mundane activities are more varied. Everything changes! But... My question is In a relationship, is love all that matters? Is it enough to sustain you? Is love truly enough in our day and age? Are you the type to commit to a relationship with only your feelings as a guiding post, and say to yourself "The rest will come" or are you the type that prefers to have "material" a house, income, stability, and then settle down with a partner?
My personal opinion: no. Love is not enough. I have a stone heart, and while love is an important ingredient in a romantic relationship if only feelings are present with absolutely nothing to support our compatibility outside of those feelings then it would be foolish to enter into the relationship, especially in the early stages of fluffy love which can blinker you to just how incompatible you truly are. However I do not think the material is part of what a relationship needs in order to be sustained; we need to be compatible in more ways than simply reciprocating feelings and being willing to sacrifice part of ourselves for the other. I do not need a house, income, or stability but if a relationship I enter is going to be sustainable we need to have similar ideas on the future direction our lives will take (not necessarily concrete ideas, but not vastly different forks that we say we'll tackle when we get to them), and indeed in our present lives. I will not allow myself to commit to someone on feelings alone, especially since feelings can be fleeting and mask a huge array of serious incompatibilities which no amount of bridge building or sacrifice could ever turn into inconsequential issues. I've seen far too many people enter into a serious relationship for love only to have resentment and incompatibilities slowly erode that love away until the relationship becomes toxic to base any decision which may see me commit to someone on a long-term basis on feelings alone. (I'm going to expand on this: I think there's love, and then there's being willing to work on the relationship, and the two are not mutually inclusive).
Yes. With enough love, anything is possible. Love lets you overcome any incompatibility. To me, it means the willingness to sacrifice for your significant other. If that means not beating them up for dunderheaded political opinions, cleaning up after them due to different tidiness attitudes, and sharing your treasured personal space so that they can be in it, so be it. On the other hand, love means trusting that the other person truly wants your well-being and deserves help. So the person with dumb opinions and sloppy habits needs to open their mind to other approaches and try to meet the other somewhere in the middle with cleaning. It's hard work, but it is infinitely rewarding. >>Speaking from personal experience of living with somebody I'm not entirely compatible with, but I love that somebody enough to work at it. I just hope the feeling is mutual :eek:
There are so many extremes in this debate. Take, for example, arranged marriages. You'd think they wouldn't work, and yet they most often do. It seems the basic criteria are that the families they come from are similar in both outlook and tradition. I'm no advocate of this approach, but it isn't all negative. Now take free-spirited love no-matter-what: all good and well, but differences that are papered over in the beginning will develop into fissures that will then deepen into cracks too wide to ignore. Ask most old people who've been through the marriage and divorce merry-go-round and they will tell you that compatibility, common purpose, common values and outlook mean a great deal to the success of any long-term relationship. Love is a living thing and it is an active thing, it isn't static, it either grows or it withers, and frankly, I can only state that I have seen too much of the hopeful but incompatible relationships wither, and I have seen tremendously strong marriages endure from a common purpose. Love is enough only if the values that are loved in the other are sustained and in sync with each other.
Very wise. You said here what I was getting at, but much more clearly. Sort of a "Yes, love is enough *asterisk*" that's much more realistic.
Love is the thing that makes that you don´t care about other stuff. If you need certain standards to make a relationship work, you can still have a great relationship, but it´s not true love, imo. There are many ways to make a relationship work. Mutual love just makes it so much sweeter.
Thanks for all the insight It all really makes sense, when you think about the first stages of being in a relationship. "The cupcake stage" Where everything is perfect and you hardly notice their flaws. Relationships are based on more than just love. They require commitment, understanding and well... I could go on listing things that are important for a long lasting relationship :$ Of course mutual understanding of what you and your partner need is key. Thanks and I hope everyone has a good day!
In agreement with everyone else! Also Material things come and go easily. They are replaceable. But love isn't. Another person isn't. Love is definitely enough to carry a relationship. You just have to make sure you are actually in love and not just wanting it so bad that you'll make yourself think you're in love. Hope that helps too!
While I think love is a major thing in every relationship, common likes or interests would help with the compatibilily. Or else people would lose interest. At least that's what I think.
Frankly, No. Love alone is not enough. You need to get along, mesh well sexually, want similar futures, have things in common you can share, agree on how to keep a household, etc, etc... Love alone is not enough, if it was divorce wouldn't be a thing.
I agree with your notion. It's takes more than love to keep a relationship stable. Analogically Thinking. Relationships are like vehicles, and love would be the fuel. What's the point of having plenty of it, if certain parts are damaged or missing? The car will inevitably break down on the side of the road. Likewise, what's the point in having a vehicle with no gas..? It's a funny way of thinking about it, and it probably doesn't make much sense :$ Also, I love your signature:eusa_danc
