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May I have a explanation for these stereotypes?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Reptillian, Jul 2, 2013.

  1. Reptillian

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    Ok, here's the scenario that I just went through. My mother says that people hold the stereotype that gay men have long nails and I have long nails. She knows that I'm not a homosexual as I basically look at women everyday of my life in the internet. Also, she told me that gay men have long hair and my guess is that it has something to do with girls which I already know about (I have long hair, but that doesn't bother my parents). In the past, I had "female postures" and my parents corrected me with the "male postures". What is male and female in behaviors, postures, and the likes? I don't get it nor I believe in the assertion that there are differences in behaviors, emotions, and the likes (No offense to trans of EC)? What is so homosexual about long nails?

    If anyone asks me to come out as a igsexual non-sexual or whatever, I'm quite content having no one knowing my sexual or the lack of sexual identities. She doesn't know it, but meh.
     
  2. Hexagon

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    Its all sexist bullshit. Don't worry about it.
     
  3. Reptillian

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    Yeah, I know. I just wanna see through their logics.
     
  4. Rakkaus

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    I have never heard this silly "stereotypes" about nails and hair. If anything gay guys are stereotypically more likely to be well-groomed and go for manicures. It's straight guys who are more likely to let their nails grow wild.
     
  5. Reptillian

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    It must be cultural... To me, the stereotypes I heard came from latin places. What about you?
     
  6. Aster Tataricus

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    People like to twist things into rumors, and ultimately they become a stereotype. Most gay men dress up or roleplay as a woman. I'm considering trying out "this" at least once :grin: But the point is that guys like that wear a wig or use fake nails to make theirs seem longer and complete the ensemble. So people who see this will generalise the idea that ALL gay men will try to grow out their hair and nails.

    Society is the one that sexualises these concepts of behaviour. Go to a nursery at a hospital. You'll see that boys will be wearing blue, while girls wear pink. Why can't boys wear pink and girls blue? Better yet, why not a different color like green, yellow or red? >_>
     
  7. Chip

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    There are certainly gay stereotypes that accurately fit a lot of people. However, the ones your mom is proposing aren't among them.

    That said, hiding who you are isn't emotionally healthy, it just creates shame, because no matter how you look at it, there's a part of you that is afraid to be your authentic self. You can hide behind the rationalization of "no one needs to know" or "it's nobody's business"... but it is just a rationalization, and the research shows that hiding a part of oneself does not contribute to living fully and wholeheartedly.
     
  8. ladyneko13

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    i've never heard the nails one but i do know the one w\ the long hair. are your parents religious? because in the part of the bible that says stuff about women only being allowed to wear skirts, and dumb stuff like that, it says that men w\ long hair are homosexual and women w\ short hair are prostitutes. XD
     
  9. Reptillian

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    Except that this statement completely ignores the fact that correlation is not causation and it ignores different scenarios. Also, anecdotes are not necessarily a reliable indication of what other could experience as the other have a widely different variable to the average of those anecdotes. If I like the fact that no one knows about my sexuality, and I prefer it that way, then I have no reason to even bother coming out. Also, I'm just being me. Some folks thinks I'm gay and others thinks I'm straight, but I don't really care. If they start bullying me, I'd just let them know that I have no interest into anyone and quite am content which gets them off.

    Father isn't religious while mother is religious. I wouldn't be surprised if this contributes to it.

    Oh, so that explains the nail thing. But, the nails could be of bad grooming.
     
    #9 Reptillian, Jul 2, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2013
  10. AAASAS

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    I think it's more heterosexual male to have unkempt nails and hair. I personally hate long nails and hair.

    The only explanation I can provide ascertaining to the logistics of that thought process is that they are associating being transgendered with being homosexual, when they are both completely different. So yea, feminine girls tend to have long hair, and long nails. Maybe your parents think gay people want to be the opposite sex, which is ridiculous.
     
  11. Harve

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    I just Googled this word out of curiosity and the first result was something you'd written elsewhere. Is it only you using this? Are you making up your own labels? :grin:
     
  12. Chip

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    Unless, as in this case, the so-called "anecdotes" come from 13+ years of grounded theory research with over 12,000 interviews of up to several hours each, and blinded cross-validation of the coding of those interviews by the researchers. Oh, and the fact that voluminous other evidence and practical experience by hundreds of clinicians supports the same findings.

    But nevermind all of that, clearly you, with your singular and superior knowledge and intellect, and brilliant deductive reasoning skills understand this issue in much greater depth than the entirety of the psychological research field.

    You don't have to come out if you don't want to; certainly that's your right. Just don't try to claim that it doesn't have an impact on your self esteem and your ability to be happy in the long term, because it does. And I seriously doubt that no one knows; even the people who are convinced they're doing a world-class job of hiding it are pretty easily read by anyone with good gaydar.
     
  13. sexyalex

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    I used to have long nails. But it had little to do with my sexuality and more for my protection. I am a sloppy fighter. And as a gay kid growing up I always feared being jumped so i'd keep my nails long and sharp and thick!

    I have to cut it now, because I work as a nutritionist/patisserie and I deal with food everyday. But then again, my life isn't as high risk as it once was.
     
  14. Reptillian

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    Even if we use those cases, you are still ignoring the obvious fact that the majority do not make up all of the cases and this statement operates on the fallacy that if the majority of the cases are like this, then all cases are like this. To demonstrate that the conclusion is false, we can use the socialization example. The majority of the people gain pleasure over socialization, so therefore all people enjoy socializing. So what's the problem? It completely ignores isolated cases which has conditions that do not match the majority such as loners who are geared toward schizoid personality and quite content with the lifestyle, and it ignores people who are serious misanthrope that would overall be happier avoiding people.

    Now I'm going to point out cases that your assumption ignores. It ignores cases like...

    (A) Aromantic sexual who are quite content with the celibate lifestyle who simply don't see the need of coming out because of their choices in life. Do not imply anything about choices in sexuality because it is not about it.

    (B) Aromantic asexuals who wants nothing to do with sex and sexuality in general which is why they don't come out

    (C) Cases where people are so inclined to enjoy being alone that they are highly unlikely to desire sex with one another.

    Here's my reasoning for those three

    (A) Due to the lack of wants to engage into sexual activities, they may not bother with coming out as it doesn't go along with their lifestyle in which they are content with. Also, it is possible to enjoy life without sex.

    (B) They are the people that gets along fine with no hints of sexual activities as they don't quite see the point into it. Not to mention, asexuality is far less visible and far less attacked than the lgbtq community.

    (C) Since they aren't inclined to enjoy being with other people, this scenario makes it unlikely for them to even desire to engage into sexual activities because it involves other people, hence why they don't come out since they want nothing from others.

    1. I operate on the neutral self-esteem as I don't think of myself as anything. I just do my work and get things done as if it was my job. If it bad, ok not affected. If it good, ok not affected. Criticism and praises don't affect my self-esteem all that much if it exists.

    2. I'm quite happy with who I am and my choices.

    3. Don't operate on the fallacy that just because someone is a member of a site means that he is X or Y. If I'm not a introvert and I generally post on a introvert site, then am I a introvert because I joined a introvert site? I have described my sexuality in details. You can identify me with being bi as I have experienced fluid sexuality or you can identify with hetero since I quite enjoy women's body and my attention is focused into women or you can identify me as an asexual because I have no to little desire to engage into sex. So, depending on your meaning of X-sexual, then I can either fall under it or do not fall under it. Due to the ambiguity of the lines being drawn on sexualities, it shouldn't be surprising that one can fall under multiple sexualities even if sexuality labels are meant to partition others.

    4. Why don't you take your time to understand me before making a claim like that?

    Yeah, I am the only one using it and yes I made it up because there wasn't any word to describe someone who cannot say what sexuality they fall under unless they are referred to a highly specific definition of sexualities. It's basically the ignostic version of sexual while atheism is equivalent to asexual. Actually, I do plan to spread the label myself.
     
    #14 Reptillian, Jul 2, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2013
  15. clarkec1

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    Here's me:

    - Long nails - No
    - "Female" Posture - No
    - Long hair - No

    I've never even heard of those stereotypes. Don't worry about any of it. They're just stupid incorrect biased judgements that that have gradually developed and are inconclusive and probably even inintroductive (that's not a word). Don't listen to what they say.
     
  16. Linthras

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    This is what it boils down to.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2013 at 09:29 AM ----------

    And not just with regards to hiding your sexuality.
    It's an example of self-induced cognitive dissonance, which has been extensively studied for decades.